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nicolieolie5990 · Nov 23, 2007, 11:30 AM

Hi, I have been togther with my boyfriend for a little over a year now, and he claims that he has never cheated, but has these sperts where he likes to go out and party with his friends which I understand but he tells me he is on his way home never comes, try to call him but no answer. Then he don't end up coming home until 3 or 4 in the morning. I have lethim know that this is not acceptable. Also while I am at work he has my car all day and when I get off work. I ask him how was his day and what did he do. Which I am not trying to be suspicious but sometimes I can put gas in the car right before I go into work and when I get off I'm sitting on E again. But when I ask him these questions he gets mad and acts like I don't trust him. But if he would answer my questions I would not be so suspicious. Should I trust him or just take his word that he is not doing nothing worng, because actually I have never have caught him doing any thing. So can soemone give me some tips or advice on what to do about my curiousity ? I don't want to be wasting my time on someone if I can find out they are cheating on me or not...

J_9 · Nov 23, 2007, 11:34 AM

Does he not work? Does he not have a car? To me it sounds like you are just getting used. If I were you, and I'm not, I would be telling him to hit the streets. Sounds like he has no respect for you in the first place.

MiddleAgedMage · Nov 23, 2007, 12:13 PM

Originally Posted by nicolieolie5990

Hi, I have been togther with my boyfriend for a little over a year now, and he claims that he has never cheated, but has these sperts where he likes to go out and party with his friends which i understand but he tells me he is on his way home never comes, try to call him but no answer. then he dont end up coming home until 3 or 4 in the morning. i have lethim know that this is not acceptable. also while i am at work he has my car all day and when i get off work. i ask him how was his day and what did he do. which i am not trying to be suspicious but somtimes i can put gas in the car right before i go into work and when i get off i'm sitting on E again. but when i ask him these questions he gets mad and acts like i dont trust him. but if he would answer my questions i would not be so suspicious. should i trust him or just take his word that he is not doing nothing worng, bc actually i have never have caught him doing any thing. so can soemone give me some tips or advice on what to do about my curiousity ? i dont want to be wasting my time on someone if i can find out they are cheating on me or not....

If he has nothing to hide, he would be freely forthcoming with his activities of the day, the coming in late would seem to be a 'Red Flag', sounds like he has a free ride in many senses of the word, people will only treat you the way you let them. Take control of your life, find someone who respects you and whose actions build trust, instead of constantly nagging at you. Trust your intuition, it is more often right than wrong. And by the way, I am a man, and I've heard this same story so many times before, it does not end good. Love yourself and only allow someone else who is good for YOU, to be your partner in life. Life is too too short for unnecessary years wasted on what I like to call 'Social Vampires'. This applies to friends in general also, so good luck and I wish you the best!

UnAnaray · Dec 18, 2007, 08:03 PM

All I can say is trust your instincts... they are often right.

Mary1806 · Dec 18, 2007, 08:07 PM

If I were you I would trust my instincs. He sounds like a guy who is wasting your time. Like your being used and has no respect for you. If my guy was like that towards me I would tell him to leave and never come back. You need to do what is best for you.

Crista · Dec 18, 2007, 10:00 PM

To be honest with you I had the same feelings toward my partner, especially at a time when he came home at 3am one night while I sat up worried as hell and I had to work in the morning at 9am. I was so angry with him. He came in smiling big, expecting me to be just as happy to see him. I burst in a fit. I wouldn't have it any other way. I told him, how would you like it if I didn't come home. He knows I would because when I'm mad, I get a bit extreme. It was a good fight in a way, because I told him my feelings on worrying and stressing about him while I have to work in 6 hours. He didn't realize it hurt me so much and he hasn't done that since, which makes it 2 years now.
The point I'm trying to make here is, if your guy doesn't want to compromise or work with you in anyway. What he is saying is, your not worth it, I am on more important things, his self.

I also agree he is using you for your "company", car and time. You don't deserve that!

lhemilie202 · Dec 19, 2007, 09:40 AM

I agree you have every right to be suspicious but I would like to know why you allow him to walk all over you. I would say from just what you have said that this is not worth this at all I wouyld walk away now but if you are going to stay and you want to know if he is cheating and you don't think he is being honest you need to be your own investigator I would always go with your gut and trust yourself little things like is he more distant in the bedroom hickeys on him nail marks don't put gas in the car before you give it to him become friends with his chances are they have girlfriends and I'm not saying his friend would tell you but there girlfriends might its not right but if you have to know that then you have to know I would check his cell phone see what in there even have someone follw him to see where he goes it may be nothing but you have to prepare yourself because you might not like what you find best of luck post the out come I would be interested to know