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    jt14621's Avatar
    jt14621 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 23, 2007, 09:08 AM
    Ex broke up with me after 4 years hard to get over
    Well I was dating this girl for 4 years and it was very rocky the first 2 years were great we got along. We broke up after a couple times before during the relationship in which she left once and wanted to see other people but found that the guy that she was interested in didn't want a relationship and she came back to me. Anyway I took her back and about a year ago we got engaged and moved in with each other like 7 months ago but it seemed I was uncertain about the marriage she would want to talk about it but I kept avoiding it. She soon felt that the relationship wasn't going anywhere we started to fight a lot and argue she couldn't take it anymore and thought that are personalities just clash and we are not right for each other and are just comfortable. She told me she didn't want to date me anymore. So she broke up with me 1.5 month ago. She then told she had a new boyfriend like 4 days after we broke up and of course I looked on her freakin myspace and there he was. Well she called me and texted me during the first couple weeks of the break up telling me about the boyfriend or trying to have friendly chit chat. She moved back with her parents but we still have the apt. together she still has to pay half the rent though. She told me she is really happy and not stressed out she said she isn't love with the new guy but you never know. Anyway I decided to end contact and put everything that reminded me of her in bags and put them away. I had been two weeks since I had contact with her she didn't call me or anything until 11/21 before thanksgiving just wishing me a happy thanksgiving. I just sent one back doing the same but its just hard because I still love this girl despite what has happened. I wish I had a chance to fix what happened but she has moved on with this new and its hard not talking to her everyday when she couldn't go a day without talking to me or calling me. I don't know if I want her back or if I'm just lonely or jealous
    Ash123's Avatar
    Ash123 Posts: 1,793, Reputation: 305
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    #2

    Nov 23, 2007, 09:29 AM
    Please read my survival guide below.

    Hang in there.

    Your life sounds a bit of a mess. I'd focus on career and future plans. This girl is not ready for you and you are not ready for her it seems...
    jt14621's Avatar
    jt14621 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Nov 23, 2007, 10:16 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Ash123
    Please read my survival guide below.

    Hang in there.

    Your life sounds a bit of a mess. I'd focus on career and future plans. This girl is not ready for you and you are not ready for her it seems....

    Thanks the guide seemed to help. I have had no contact with her for 2 weeks but I just didn't understand out all that time she could have contacted me she text me to wish me happy thanksgiving I just don't get it is she just trying to be nice?
    Ash123's Avatar
    Ash123 Posts: 1,793, Reputation: 305
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    #4

    Nov 23, 2007, 10:53 AM
    YES. SHE IS TRYING TO BE NICE!!!

    THAT IS VERY COMMON.     (afterall you spent 4 years together)

    To gain control you have to remove all control. Then you will see things more clearly.

    Say what you have to say (if you have not already -- I hope you have) and go silent. 100% NC. Take her off your myspace etc.

    Then, only respond if you hear what you want to hear.
    jt14621's Avatar
    jt14621 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #5

    Nov 24, 2007, 02:37 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Ash123
    YES. SHE IS TRYING TO BE NICE!!!

    THAT IS VERY COMMON.     (afterall you spent 4 years together)

    To gain control you have to remove all control. Then you will see things more clearly.

    Say what you have to say (if you have not already -- i hope you have) and go silent. 100% NC. take her off your myspace etc.

    then, only respond if you hear what you want to hear.

    Well that's what I thought. Anyway like 130am I missed a call from my ex and she left a voicemail asking me why I'm talking junk about her to her friend and she mentioned his name. The guy works at a restaurant me and my brother went to a month ago. I didn't talk junk to the guy about her. He said hi to me and asked me about her and I said we broke up and she is with another guy and I asked if he has seen her and he said no. I don't know were the heck she got me talking junk about her from. She said in the voicemail I can call her or email her. I think that's messed up I don't know what to do. Call her or just ignore it? Childish if you ask me I haven't talked to her in like 2 weeks and this is what I get
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