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DJ 'H' · Nov 30, 2005, 03:38 AM

My parents have split up and my 8yr old brother seems to be rebelling towards my mum. He won't do as he told by her. The minute I ask him to he does it without argument.

I guess my little bro is angry at my mum and maybe balmes her in some way??

He gets so upset and I have no idea what is going through his head.

How do I support him through this?? How do I let him know that no matter what happens we all love him and even though mummy & daddy are not together anymore and daddy does not live with us - things won't change for him - he will still see all of us; be loved by all of us and does not need to worry or be upset?

NeedKarma · Nov 30, 2005, 04:51 AM

I don't know about his relationship with his father but I'm guessing it's a good one. Somehow, along the way, it is possible that he blames your mother for the split and that has created a divide between them. You seem to have a great relationship with your brother, you could ask him outright why he treats his mother like this. You could even go so far as asking if he blames his mother for the split if he doesn't offer if up.

fredg · Nov 30, 2005, 05:16 AM

Hi,
I agree with the other answer, about talking with your 8 yr old brother.
I think this is a normal situation, although I know that doesn't help any.
Children don't understand why their Mom and Dad are separated or divorced, and no longer living together. They feel lost, and sometimes the only way is to show "dislike" or rebellion against who they are living with.
If you have a "talking" relationship with your ex, explain it to him, and ask him to talk with his son about it also. It will take some time for your brother to "calm down", and accept what has happened.
Meantime, I hope your Mom can also talk with him, be honest and open, and try explaining to him about the love still being there.
Another idea would be to take your brother to a Children's Counselor, not a child psychiatrist, or some other Professional, who might be able to explain it much better.
I do wish you the best, and hang in there.

DJ 'H' · Nov 30, 2005, 06:57 AM

Well I have been helping him with his homework and giving him hugs before he goes to bed etc.

My boyfriend and I are also treating him. We are taking him bowling and to McDonalds in the next week or so - so maybe that would be a good time to talk to him. Away from the rest of the family!