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Monroevonoh · Nov 20, 2007, 03:04 PM

I dated this guy for about 9 months. In this time I wasn't the greatest, I was going through some things and it started to bleed onto the relationship. It wasn't all bad though , we were very very close . We both loved each other very much and both cried when it was over. We said we would be friends, but in time I told him that I can't pretend that I'm OK with hearing and seeing him out on dating sites and he said the same to me as well. Whenever we spoke , it was always about " us" and it just wasn't healthy anymore in trying to move on . So I finally said for him to not talk with me for a few weeks , he agreed. I sent him a message after a few days just saying hello and that I was fine and I'm sure that we will talk soon. He hasn't gotten back and its been a day and some and I know he has gotten the message. I got a little mad but I can understand that he's trying to move on and do what I asked of him. Still though its rough. I still think about him all the time and I am constantly going through the 5 steps. Anger, grief, denial , acceptance , however it goes.. over and over again. I can't get over this man , I always want to know how is doing , I always want to talk with him , the thought of him sends all these emotions and memories to me . I'm OK with moving on , I know we need time. But that doesn't mean he doesn't consume me , it seems. Does he feel the same way? When I think of him , is he thinking of me too ? Are we ever getting back what we had? Will I ever see him and be with him again? I honestly feel a great connection to him .

My birthday is October , 26, 1985 - and his is sept, 9, 1980 Virgo man and Scorpio woman.

statictable · Nov 20, 2007, 05:19 PM

Not trying to pry but some info about (why the break-up) would be of value. You mentioned bringing "some things" into the relationship. Again a little info. Thanks and best wishes.

Monroevonoh · Nov 20, 2007, 05:45 PM

I could run hot and cold with him sometimes. There was also a bit of a distance factor there as well. I like the one I'm with to at least be in the same city as me. He was so busy on the weekends , trying to juggle time with me and time with his friends as well , which is fine I understand that , and I wished more and more for time with him during the week, which I couldn't get. And there were times I could get moody with him because of this. He also was new to all the feelings that we shared and that he had for me , He has only had one GF , and she treated him like crap every single day calling him names and making fun of him in front of her friends. And one fling - which he was using as a rebound. The there was me, he said I made him feel all this new stuff that he wasn't sure of and that he was happy. Which was really great because I to was very happy , but here was a lot of things that he said and did or said and didn't do that got under my skin because I felt that I had to teach him how to be in a relationship with a women sometimes. I know I should have been more sympathetic because he was learning the ins and outs of what it means to be a relationship and the sacrifices you have to make sometimes on both parts. I don't think he understood that . I have had a lot of relationships and experience , and I have learned a thing or two. I'm not perfect but I know more than I did then when was dating my 2nd real boyfriend. There was just a lot of things that didn't work , I had a temper sometimes with him . But I loved him to no end. He thought my love was conditional and it wasn't. It felt like I wasn't allowed to show any other emotion with this guy unless it was a huge smile, the one time I would just want to be quiet , or sit there and just relax and take everything in , he would think there was something wrong and tend to back off thinking I was being moody over something. And then , I would actually get mad because he claim was BS and not fair to assume like that. Also , with the distance , I felt that I always had to be in fact smiling , I felt that I was never able to just relax and watch t.v with him because all we had were our weekends and I didn't want to ruin his by wanting to stay in with him for the night. In a nutshell , what ended up happening in the end was not enough talking about what was going on and too much trying to appeal to the other person trying to not screw up. And only after an argument , did all this come out , it always came out too late though , too late to stop anything from happening all the time.

Wow, that felt good to write, maybe I just don't know what I want . I know that I love this man , but when I think about it , I think he needs time to gain experience and see what's really going on , and for me to grow up a little myself I reckon.

I still want him back though lol I want him around

Monroevonoh · Nov 20, 2007, 05:58 PM

I would also like to mention , that I am a recovering bulimic , and being a bulimic can really take a toll on ones mind, body, soul, everything. He knew that as well , but still , everything felt like my fault. I know I could have been nicer sometimes , but every time I would explain where it all was coming from ( no I'm not using bulimia as an excuse, but it helped in a big way) he would only see what hurt I caused him , what I would do to him, how he felt, how he didn't understand , how he was this , and how he felt that . Its like I didn't exsist for awhile and the only way he thought to help me was by making me feel worse a lot of the time .

Whatever , it just didn't work I guess .