[lost??]

Ive been with my girlfriend for over two years now. Im a junior in college and she just started this year. She lives at school but its only like a 45 min drive from where I live. We have a great relationship. We both love each other very much and would do anything for each other. But over the past few weeks it felt like we were growing apart. We've always been great to each other and are very close. But now all of a sudden she said she needs a break. She said she needs time to focus on herself. I tried to talk her out of it but I couldn't. I said I would give her her time to herself. I wrote her an e-mail and told her how I feel about it and explained that I am mad and hurt by it and don't really understand. But I said that I really am trying to understand what she's going through. She promised me she would not hook up with anyone else and that we would get back together and that she still loves me. I said that I would not contact her and wait for her to come to me. I'm just really trying to understand what's going on. Am I right in not contacting her? Should I really be worried about her not getting back together with me or am I just a paranoid boyfriend? I love her and really believe that she still loves me. I just have no idea what to do. Any help is greatly appreciated. Thanks.

[sphyncx]

Hey everyone... I've been away at life so I haven't been able to respond to anyone's stuff.

All right well... she wants a break... she just gets into college and she probably wasn't ready for it. I've seen this happen lots of times, it has even happened to my brother. Here are a few things that she could be up to...

1. She is just stressed out right now with all this work... with midterms finally being over and now finals coming up, workload is being too much for her and she wasn't expecting it at all. College is a big step, lot of freshman aren't ready for it and that's why freshman year ends up being their worst year because of it (grades wise).

2. There is always the possibility that there is another guy or guys involved, it sucks but it's a fact... it happens.

3. Kind of goes along with number 2... maybe with all these guys and parties she just wants to have a good time? Girls are weird... they think they can only have fun when they are single.

Personally... I don't know her... so my guess would be option 1 because I've personally seen that happen a lot. If you do love her, respect her and the decision.

[DJ 'H']

My ex did the whole "I want a break" - he said he loved me and that we would stay together but he just needed some time to himself. He said he would see me again for a mutual friends leaving party. I did not contact him in any form as agreed and come the day of our mutual friends leaving party e did not contact me or turn up. I did not hear from him days afterwards. Then I get a text message apologising - then a phonecall to say he wants to break up.

It's not necessarily the same situation; but things are changing. Whenever someone starts somewhere new and meets new people they evolve as a person - they move on! - sometimes you & your partner just get to a cross roads in life and you go one way and your partner goes the other.

It's as you quoted - "But over the past few weeks it felt like we were growing apart"

It's hard when this happens - especially when one partner reaches the cross roads and moves on - but the other has not quite got there yet.

Give her some time and see what happens. If you two don't make it - just remember you will always have fond memories and no one can ever take then away.

My nan once said this to me and I have never ever forgotten it - "Partners will come and go in life - but you should enjoy them while they last and know that there was a reason for them being in your life"

After much thought I know she is right. Every partner comes into our lives at some point. Every partner I have had I have either learnt something from or has been there at an intense part of my life and got me through.

[fredg]

Hi,
I remember reading something almost exactly like this, but can't remember the post.
At 18 yr old, I had a girlfriend, too; we were both in love for about 3 yrs, and I wanted it to be "forever"... didn't turn out that way. She found someone else when we both went off to college, separate ones.
You and she may or may not get back together. You have to face that, and accept it. I know it's hard, but there will be someone for you; just for you.
She is being honest with you, wants to not be anyones' girlfriend right now. Give her some time... might take 3 or 4 months for her to make up her mind.
And, Yes, you might lose her; there is no guarantee in life about anything.
Keep sending her a card or two, but don't keep emailing her, calling her, etc.
Give her some time, and maybe it will work out OK.

[nymphetamine]

Nothing that you are feeling is a big surprise to me. Its frustrating because there are so many questions going through your head and you don't understand if you've done something or there's something you could have done or what. Sometimes in life there are problems that come up that we have to try and deal with ourselves. She may need alone time to figure things out. That happens. She may be overwhelmed and feel like she's suffocating. If you care for your girlfriend help her dust her wings off and let her go. Give her time. She's as stressed as you are.

[lost??]

I was feeling pretty low for a while then my girlfriend call me today. Too bad I was at work so I couldn't talk for long. But I told her that I am better understanding what she is going through. I feel really good about the whole thing. She is going to call me tomorrow when I get home from work so I guess you can say I'm excited about that haha. And to all those that replied... thanks your input really helped me begin to understand what is going on. I know that it is something she is going through and its nothing I did. I also know that she's just as lost as I am about the whole thing. I'm hoping to get back together but I know that it is not definite. I guess I just have to respect her wishes and take what comes. Thanks everybody!

[s_cianci]

Absolutely, positively do not contact her. Pretend that she's been wiped from the face of the earth. Get on with your life, which is very busy and fulfilling and certainly doesn't need her to be a part of it. Meet some new women (college is crawling with them, I'm sure), go out and have a blast. I'm sure she'll eventually contact you (women , and perhaps men too , seem to have a sixth sense about these things, when they think they're losing you for good) and at that point you can decide whether you want to see her again or not, but it'll be when you're damn good and ready. After all, you'll have a lot on your plate with studies, dating, frat parties, etc. You'll have to squeeze her in when your schedule permits, maybe a week from Wednesday. Get the picture?

[talaniman]

There so many baaaaaad ladies out there I do not understand your problem! :cool:

[rkim291968]

Another vote for suspecting that it is your GF's nice way of saying that it is time to break up.

[DJ 'H']

Well I sort of did. I went with a group of friends and ended up chatting to this guy (who was also at the party) all night. He was stuck for a lift home at the end of the night (because he lived out of town and had been drinking) I took him home (As I was driving that night) and he gave me great advice and even a hug before he got out to go into his house. Really nice guy and a friend of mine to this day :)

[s_cianci]

Well I sort of did. I went with a group of friends and ended up chatting to this guy (who was also at the party) all night. He was stuck for a lift home at the end of the night (because he lived out of town and had been drinking) I took him home (As I was driving that night) and he gave me great advice and even a hug before he got out to go into his house. Really nice guy and a friend of mine to this day :)

Thumbs up on that one!

[Guest]

I'm going through the same thing at the moment, I just want her back. I miss her so much

[Jzacharias]

Ya I'm going through the same thing with my girlfriend, I just wish we could go back a few months. :(:confused: