[chris08]

So I found a lovely girl who wanted to be with me as much as I wanted to be with her. As the relationship went past a year, everything was going great, we loved each other dearly and spent far too much time together, as she didn't have friends to socialize with herself apart from when she was at college. I'd like to spend time to myself but she would get jealous and would be in a mood if I didn't see her on this day or that day. When we did go out, it would be with my friends and she got along with them great. As time went on I really couldn't see my relationship ending, we would both dream of the day of us moving in with each other. Then things change, she gets into university and passes her driving test and finally digs out the courage from within herself to tell me that she didn't want to be in a relationship anymore, over the telephone. Her life had changed.

I took her for granted big time, I could never see the day she'd finish with me, she'd always go on about "you won't finish me if i get into uni will you?" I would say no.

So my question is, is taking a relationship for granted a bad idea and does it hurt more when you break up? (I'm hurting quite a bit) I was over-confident in my relationship and I'm starting to regret this. Sometimes even hating myself for it.

[kuulski]

Sounds normal to me. Take you medicine go NC and you will feel like a new man in 2-6 months depending on how much you stick with the NC. Its normal for her to want to be single now that she is a new phase of her life you should do the same. You will look back in a couple months and cringe at the idea of allowing this to hold you back from enjoying yoursef.

[Caralyn]

I’m sorry to say this but taking anything for granted is a mistake. Relationships are like fires, if you don’t work to keep them going they burn out. Sweet words and small surprise gifts help to fuel relationships. Listening is important. If things become stressed, time out can also be helpful. And, I agree with you, everyone needs some personal space occasionally. :)

[chris08]

Things became very stressed for her, she told me she was too afraid to sit down with me and talk it through, she said she didn't want to hurt me. She paniced and ended up telling me over the phone, which hurt me more. I felt terrible. As we had not long got back from a holiday abroad in the sun. I guess it was all bad timing to have a serious relationship, as she had started something new in her life, even though she still lives at home. Everybody I know told me they knew she'd finish me when she started Uni but they didn't want to say anything. They were right. I wish I had told her more how I felt, I kind of always kept it in me, I don't why. I took her for granted.