[sararose30]

I want to divorce my husband of 5 years. I have never been happy with him, but I guess I thought he would change, he hasn't. He is always in a bad mood and brings everyone down with him. We have two small children and I hate putting them through all the negativity and anger. Our home is never happy when he is there. He is a mean person and is always yelling and cussing at our son and me. I do love him but I don't like him at all. I can't live like this anymore. I have told him I want a divorce several times but he just says he's sorry and pretends everything is fine. He is very intemidating and it is hard to talk to him about things. He makes me feel like everything is my fault and I am the one who tries to do everything to make him happy. I am out of chances for him. I want out, yes I know I said vows, but that is not worth being unhappy for the rest of my life. Please help me to know how to tell him and let him know I mean it and it's not because I'm mean. I have to think about myself and my kids, don't you think? Any advice? Oh and I have no car and no job either, so what am I suppose to do? Please help!!

[ChihuahuaMomma]

Do you have any close friends or family? Take your children there for the night with the necessities, and then sit him down and tell them that you are not happy anymore and want a divorce. Perhaps even some marriage counseling, and break open the subject there

[Caralyn]

sararose30,

ChihuahuaMomma made a good point about leaving the children with a friend and going back to talk to him yourself. It is difficult especially if you are afraid of him. Could someone be with you when you tell him. If you do manage to talk to him, you need to stay calm and get across what you want to say. Leave him in no doubt that you mean what you say or you will have to go through it all again. Good luck. Check back and let us know how you are.

[JoeCanada76]

Before any divorce is even thought of. Before giving up so easily. Everything in your power and his, should be spent trying all the possibilities and counseling and communication before any final decision can be made. This is not only about you, but your whole family and it sounds like communication is the problem here. Like the above have mentioned. Have a night out alone without the children and have a heart to heart. Marriage counseling is a must and then after these things are done, if you feel that there still needs to be a divorce then make that decision.

[sararose30]

This is not something I am giving up easily, I have been living with this bitter, angry person for almost 8 years. We have had so many heart to heart conversations, where I have put everything out on the table and within a week or less everything is back to the same. As for my children, I don't believe that being yelled at and cussed at is best for them. They are going to end up with no self esteem. He would never agree to counseling, in his eyes nothing is wrong. Anyway Thank you for your answers..

[ChihuahuaMomma]

This is not something I am giving up easily, I have been living with this bitter, angry person for almost 8 years. We have had so many heart to heart conversations, where I have put everything out on the table and within a week or less everything is back to the same. As for my children, I don't believe that being yelled at and cussed at is best for them. They are going to end up with no self esteem. He would never agree to counseling, in his eyes nothing is wrong. Anyway Thank you for your answers..

It sounds like you are at wit's end. I would definitely suggest talking to him, saying that you are not happy. You deserve to be happy and so do your children. Good luck to you.

[DaBaAd]

Break the cycle. Verbal abuse can lead to physical abuse. Physical abuse can lead to dangerous attacks. Help for him and your family is essential.

If you do not leave you are basically showing your kids that this is acceptable behavior, then they will be more apt to repeat the cycle in their families. Sad but true.

Seek help at a Woman's Battered Shelter if he continues this unacceptable behavior. You will receive assistance there.