[statesgirl]

Yes it happened to me.

Me(im 18 years old) and my (ex)boyfriend(he is 19years old) were together for 10months and the past weekend he cheated on me. We are currently in a long distance relationship and I was calling him on Saturday night while he was working and everything was OK. When I tried to call him again he wasn't answering (WHICH IS REALLY WEIRD OF HIM) so I tried like 20more times lol but no answer. At like 4am he messaged on msn I had the volume on loud so I would hear him message me. He said sorry I lost my cellphone blahblah and stuff.. So I was ohh OK then your safe and everything. We talked for about an hour about our future and everything.

The next day(sunday) I decided to call his cellphone to see if whoever stole it would pick up. Guess who picked up.. My (ex) boyfriend!! :mad: He said ohh the guy who took it thought it was his friends phone and then returned it later.. so I thought mm OK. Then he got mad at me because his phone was cutting out. Later that night he called me and he was acting a bit cold.

Then Monday he called and was very mad with me because I always call him when he's busy and everything so he needed time to think.

I called him on Tuesday and was crying telling how much I love him and I will stop calling when he's busy... he got madder so I left it as that.

Wednesday(yesterday) he called me and said he doesn't want to lose me but he can't keep going on with this relationship. I told him we need to work harder and be stronger. We talk for an hour and half and everything was good again I was so happy.
Then later that night I sent him an email and I always check his mail to make sure it sent. While I went inhis email he had send an other girl an email saying how special she is to him and how cute she is. With lots of XOXOXOXo.. I knew at this point something was up. In another email she has asked him to answer questions and one was would you kiss me and he wrote yes.. then she asked anything more and he wrote hahahaha:P! So I called him and he did admitt to kissing her and he had cheated but it was because he was drunk.. PFFTT! I knew that is no excuse and he wasn't drunk when he send those emails. Also they had gotten a hotel room together on that Saturday night... :mad: I broke up with after I found out and now I just don't no what to do.

Everyone is telling me to stay busy but it was such a shock to me he has cheated on me.. Like it still hasn't hit me!! Its so unbelievable... He was my first love we had plans on marriage and living together, our relationship seemed to be going so perfect, I know he does love me a lot and I don't no why he did this but...

Does anyone have any advice?? Or been through a situition like this?

[kanicky73]

The first thing that concerns me is that you stated that you guys were talking about marriage and the future together after 10 months. If there is anything at all that I have learned in my 34 years of life, it's that you don't jump into marriage after only 10 months. You need time and lots of time to get to know someone. And even then you don't always know everything there is to know about a person. Honestly, your young, you need to move on. Don't dwell on this guy, he obviously was a jerk and not the one for you. Aren't you glad you found out now instead of 2 years down the road when you were married to him?? Consider yourself one of the lucky ones. There are people out there who have been married for 15 years and find out their spouses have cheated. And then there are families and children involved not just the two of you. Chalk this one up as a lesson learned and maybe hang on a little bit tighter to your heart the next go round.

[statesgirl]

That's true, I always think its better I found out now than later on down the road. It just really shocks me because he paid 700$ for to fly to meet all his family and everything. Honestly didn't see it coming

[Chery]

Thats true, i always think its better i found out now than later on down the road. it just really shocks me because he payed 700$ for to fly to meet all his family and everything. honestly didnt see it coming

Hey, money doesn't matter when you get emotionally involved and change your mind. That's just something that gets written off as a bad investment. We've mostly all taken vacations with someone we were in love with, but I did not marry all of them... The one I did marry was one I never went on a honeymoon with because he was in the military and we had not time. He still was not the right one, but I got a beautiful daughter out of that deal, so in the longrun, we gain some and loose some in all walks of life, but we surely learn from every journey.

I promise, the pain will eventually go away. Write a list of pros and cons in your relationship, and you'll see that that list will no longer be important once you meed new people, gather new interests in life, and change your taste in what you seek in a real partner.

You've got a long way to go in life, don't rush it and make mistakes you'll regret.

Good luck, and keep us posted.

[statesgirl]

Its just going to be so hard for me to trust a guy again my past 2relationships which were my serious ones, the guy had ended up cheating on me in the end. This guys show they love me soooo much and its so true by there actions but somehow they always end up with another girl!! I don't no why.

[Chery]

Maybe you are not as sexually experimental as they expected you to be. Talk to someone you can trust about this subject and ask their opinions. There are many reasons some couples don't sexually advance together, some are not ready yet, some have had bad experiences in the past that need to be worked on, and some are just still a little shy.

Take your life at your own pace and when you enter into another relationship, do a lot of communicating about physical emotions, likes, dislikes, etc. It is not a taboo subject between two people who share each other, so don't be embarrassed about stating exactly what your current preferences and taboos are.

No need to give up what you are not willing to yet. Your instincts just might tell you that these were not the right guys in the first place. It's all a learning process.

Good luck on that journey of growing and developing.




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[statesgirl]

I am sexually experienced my (Ex) the last one taught me a lot, we tried so many new sexual things together. Our sex life was very good!

[Chery]

Then for some reason, you attract cheaters. Try to do something about that..



Set some gound rules the next time and be strong

[izkylee]

WOW, sounds like this guy has little to no respect for you

Leave and initiate NO CONTACT immediately

[Ash123]

Simply put....you are not gonna marry him, so consider that he did you a favor.
in 6 months or less he will be a memory. Imagine if you had wasted YEARS??!

The fastest way to heal: find people and things that make you laugh and feel good.
Trips, movie rentals, dinners, gym, family, NEW adventures...

One day... BOOM - you wake up and you don't care... and then someone else will come into your life that you connect with BETTER.

Really.

Please read my guide below to help you as well.

[nixsa]

I had something like this happen to me. I met my first love when I was 15. We would date on an off and finally got back together when I was 20. The unfortunate part is that it was a long distance relationship. He had this girl that was his "friend" who would always hang around him when I wasn't there. Every time I would call him it would go straight to voicemail. I found out by his roommate that he had been cheating on me with her all along and cheated on me with someone else too. I can't tell you how badly this ripped my heart out! The only thing I thought to do was take a ride and dump his stuff off on the side of a highway because if he would have come to my house to get it, he would have hated life! It took a lot of time after that to be able to trust men. I acctually hated men for a long time because of this. But I did end up getting into a 4 year relationship with someone who was VERY trustworthy and I was engaged to a guy that would have given me the world if he could have. It will take some healing time but, you will find someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated. And I agree that at least you found out that he is a dishonest jerk now instead of later. You are young I wouldn't worry about settling down with anyone go have fun be free make memories.