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gyanmusic · Nov 15, 2007, 12:12 PM

Well the story starts here. I am confused , I am trapped. Please help

Foxy459459 · Nov 15, 2007, 12:28 PM

ITS YOUR Wife's SISTER!! THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE DOING TO YOUR WIFE! Your sister in law has made it very clear that SHE Doesn't WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU IN THAT Sense!! And she probably only wants to keep the friend ship going because she doesn't want your wife to get hurt!! Your sister-in-law has a oblagation to her sister YOUR WIFE! You are a very sick and twisted man!! And if you think it could every work between you and your Wife's SISTER you are a psycho

Str8cntryboy · Nov 15, 2007, 12:36 PM

It sounds to me that your sister-in-law is playing with you. She knows how you feel and she can use that against you. I want you to play a little game with her. Go out of your way not to help her and note her response. I also think that you wife is a very loving woman, so you should not keep any thing from her. Let her know what you are going to do. I have lost many loving people due to secrets If you don't want to loose you wife then don't keep her in the dark on what you are doing. Now back to the sister-in-law, as you continue your game you will find that she will be more persistent on you help with every little thing. She will become upset with you and then you will see what kind of friend you really have. For a true friend would not put you through this turmoil. Remember your wife

gyanmusic · Nov 15, 2007, 12:48 PM

Originally Posted by Foxy459459

And she probably only wants to keep the friend ship going becasue she doesnt want your wife to get hurt!!!!!!!! and if you think it

Xx

gyanmusic · Nov 15, 2007, 12:55 PM

Originally Posted by Str8cntryboy

It sounds to me that your sister-in-law is playing with you. She knows how you feel and she can use that against you. I want you to play a little game with her. Go out of your way not to help her and note her response. I also think that you wife is a very loving woman, so you should not keep any thing from her. Let her know what you are going to do. I have lost many loving people due to secrets If you don't want to loose you wife then don't keep her in the dark on what you are doing. Now back to the sister-in-law, as you continue your game you will find that she will be more persistent on you help with every lil thing. She will become upset with you and then you will see what kind of friend you really have. For a true friend would not put you through this turmoil. Remember your wife

You could be correct friend because that reminds me her contacting me only when she needs help. Even my wife has told me that she is only that kind. My problem is that if want to end the relationship why does not she agree to do so? It is not easy to change the feelings for anyone so I find it better to completely get out of all this. But somehow she does not let me do so because she needs me for some other matters. I could have used her but I can not even think of it. Never... Thanks for your response. I will try your trick

jolienoire · Nov 15, 2007, 01:01 PM

Originally Posted by gyanmusic

You could be correct friend because that reminds me her contacting me only when she needs help. even my wife has told me that she is only that kind. my problem is that if want to end the relationship why does not she agree to do so ?? it is not easy to change the feelings for anyone so i find it better to completely get out of all this. but somehow she does not let me do so because she needs me for some other matters. i could have used her but i can not even think of it. never......Thanks for your response. i will try your trick

My question is if her motives are innocent and friendly, why is she hiding this from her sister? That is my question, because I would never ask favors of my sister's husband without my sister permission and I won't be doing any secret shopping with my sister's husband.. Or contacting him without an okay from my sister and if so it would be to my sisters discretion to relay the message to her husband.. Secondly, there are no games to be played with the sister to see where you are. Disconnect that relationship before you ruin your family life by some imaginitave desire of some mutual attraction that doesn't exist.. Sister in law or not... You don't need to add fuel to the fire.. And be honest with your wife..

gyanmusic · Nov 15, 2007, 01:08 PM

Originally Posted by jolienoire

My question is if her motives are innocent and friendly, why is she hiding this from her sister? That is my question, because I would never ask favors of my sister's husband without my sister permission and I won't be doing any secret shopping with my sister's husband.. Or contacting him without an okay from my sister and if so it would be to my sisters discretion to relay the message to her husband.. Secondly, there are no games to be played with the sister to see where you are. Disconnect that relationship before you ruin your family life by some imaginitave desire of some mutual attraction that doesnt' exist.. Sister in law or not... You don't need to add fuel to the fire.. And be honest with your wife..

What I can see is that my wife would not like this and as I have already told that these 2 guys do not carry good relationship. And my sister-in-law knows that I would never force her for anything . The only thing is that I share my feelings, so she is safe. She does not want to end the relationship because she knows that I have a done a lot for her and in future also she expects a lot... I doubt if she is really a friend?

jolienoire · Nov 15, 2007, 01:15 PM

Originally Posted by gyanmusic

What i can see is that my wife would not like this and as i have already told that these 2 guys do not carry good relationship. and my sister-in-law knows that i would never force her for anything . The only thing is that i share my feelings, so she is safe. she does not want to end the relationship becuase she knows that i have a done a lot for her and in future also she expects a lot.....i doubt if she is really a friend ??

Of course she is not a friend... She talks bad about your wife, which is her sister, and to add salt to the wound sneaks and asks her husband for favors.. Imagine that the roles were reversed and your wife did this to you with your own brother... How would you feel... There are no justifications for this behavior you are married you made a vow to your wife, and this is one of life many challenges the challenge of temptation... You need to walk away from it before it destroys you, and everything around you. Don't worry about her friendship. Your wife is your friend.. She should be the one you are chasing.. cut the umbilicial cord with the sister, before it sucks the life out of you!

Str8cntryboy · Nov 15, 2007, 01:20 PM

Originally Posted by jolienoire

Secondly, there are no games to be played with the sister to see where you are. Disconnect that relationship before you ruin your family life by some imaginitave desire of some mutual attraction that doesnt' exist.. Sister in law or not... You don't need to add fuel to the fire.. And be honest with your wife..

The deal with the game is for gyanmusic, to see what kind of person the sister-in-law is, so that it will be easer to disconnect form. His wife has told him what kind of person she is and what she is trying to do, but until he can see it for himself he will not be able to just cut off the relationship. The sister-in-law is playing him for a fool because she knows that she has power over him. He has to see and he has to know or she will always have power over him. I speak from not every mans but from a mans point of view. We are easily manipulated when it comes to women we have to seek out the truth before we can do anything about it.

We put the man in manipulated

jolienoire · Nov 15, 2007, 01:25 PM

Originally Posted by Str8cntryboy

The deal with the game is for gyanmusic, to see what kind of person the sister-in-law is, so that it will be easer to disconnect form. His wife has told him what kind of person she is and what she is trying to do, but until he can see it for himself he will not be able to just cut off the relationship. The sister-in-law is playing him for a fool because she knows that she has power over him. He has to see and he has to know or she will always have power over him. I speak from not every mans but from a mans point of view. We are easily manipulated when it comes to women we have to seek out the truth before we can do anything about it.

we put the man in manipulated

So why not tell his wife everything and let her deal with the sister, That will really cut off their relationship since he can't stand up for himself. The more he is around her the more he is attracted to her, she already told him NO she doesn't want any more why should he torture himself. He should just think of her as window shopping, "it does look nice through the glass but I can afford it" He can't afford to wreck his marriage over someone who doesn't want him.. He even talked about wanting to touch her.. He should stay away from her, before this gets UGLY... Because if he touches her and violates her then would really become her puppet on the string.. Then he would have to do whatever she wants or risk the chances of being blackmailed..

Just for the record I am divorced, Was cheated on temptations can get the best of you,, especially if you are vulnerable.. It ruins lives.. It hurts, and risk everything and gain nothing or risk nothing and have everything..

gyanmusic · Nov 15, 2007, 01:35 PM

I am really thankfull to everybody who have assisted me to resolve my problem. But how can I tell these things to my wife. She will be hurt. My wife is so lovely. And I feel fault at my end so I would be held responsible for everything, so I am scared. I have stopped so many times this story but it again and again gets started because sister-in-law approaches me through my wife. She will come to home and behave normally as there is nothing between us and that hurts me. I am unable to keep myself normal in her presence. If I do not talk to her my wife asks me why so. I have no answer. Then only option left is to act normally and I am bad at that

Str8cntryboy · Nov 15, 2007, 01:38 PM

Originally Posted by jolienoire

So why not tell his wife everything and let her deal with the sister, That will really cut off their relationship since he can't stand up for himself. The more he is around her the more he is attracted to her, she already told him NO she doesn't want any more why should he torture himself. He should just think of her as window shopping, "it does look nice through the glass but I can afford it" He can't afford to wreck his marriage over someone who doesn't want him.. He even talked about wanting to touch her.. He should stay away from her, before this gets UGLY... Because if he touches her and violates her then would really become her puppet on the string.. Then he would have to do whatever she wants or risk the chances of being blackmailed..

Just for the record I am divorced, Was cheated on temptations can get the best of you,,, especially if you are vulnerable.. It ruins lives.. It hurts, and risk everything and gain nothing or risk nothing and have everything..

He has told his wife but it is not all up to his wife to deal with the problem. Hey gyanmusic is she still living with you and your wife? If so get that chick out of your house.
Jolienoire, He has to be the man and do what is right, but he has to know what he is up against to do so.
Would you go in to a fight wearing a blindfold?

I have never been married but I have been cheated on many times and it dose hurt I would never wish that pain on my worst enemy.

I did not know the wife was in the dark.

jolienoire · Nov 15, 2007, 01:41 PM

Originally Posted by gyanmusic

I am really thankfull to everybody who have assisted me to resolve my problem. but how can i tell these things to my wife. she will be hurt. my wife is so lovely. and i feel fault at my end so i would be held responsible for everything, so i am scared. i have stopped so many times this story but it again and again gets started because sister-in-law approaches me through my wife. she will come to home and behave normally as there is nothing between us and that hurts me. i am unable to keep myself normal in her presence. if i do not talk to her my wife asks me why so. i have no answer. then only option left is to act normally and i am bad at that

Well it's your decision but may I add something my grandmother always told me. "whats done in the dark ALWAYS come to the light" SO don't think this is going to just fall off the earth without her ever finding out.. But if you want this to stop you need to talk to your wife.. Don't be scared now.. See this is the problem you lack communication with your wife because your working to hard to save you and the sister relationship instead of your marriage.. Your working backwards.. The more you continue to go with this the worse it will be..

Str8cntryboy · Nov 15, 2007, 01:47 PM

Originally Posted by jolienoire

Well it's your decision but may I add something my grandmother always told me. "what done in the dark ALWAYS come to the light" SO don't think this is going to just fall off of the earth without her ever finding out.. But if you want this to stop you need to talk to your wife.. Don't be scared now.. See this is the problem you lack communication with your wife because your working to hard to save you and the sister relationship instead of your marriage.. Your working backwards.. The more you continue to go with this the worse it will be..

I 100% agree
If you love her you will talk to her. Be open and honest with her and let her decide what she wants to do.

gyanmusic · Nov 15, 2007, 01:48 PM

Originally Posted by Str8cntryboy

He has told his wife but it is not all up to his wife to deal with the problem. Hey gyanmusic is she still living with you and your wife??If so get that chick out of your house.
Jolienoire, He has to be the man and do what is right, but he has to know what he is up against to do so.
Would you go in to a fight wearing a blindfold??

I have never been married but I have been cheated on many times and it dose hurt I would never wish that pain on my worst enemy.

No friend, she is very close to our residence but not with us. Her residence is very close to my office ( walking distance). You know my feelings ? Let me try to explain. You groom a person from zero to some respectable position. Then, you feel an attachment with that person. I want her to get a very good job that she needs and want her happy all the time. I really care . Do not want her in any trouble. I do not know what exactly I want . But now I think I should first think about my family.

jolienoire · Nov 15, 2007, 01:51 PM

Originally Posted by gyanmusic

but now i think i should first think about my family.

Now you are thinking with your head above!

Str8cntryboy · Nov 15, 2007, 02:11 PM

Ok let me back up. I thought that your wife knew what she was doing and your feelings about her the sister-in-law.
Now that I know the real story here is what you are going to do.
1. lay down the law with the sister-in-law (what it is that you don't want her to do, you are the only one that really knows what it is that she is doing)
2. Talk to your wife and tell her your true feelings about her
3. Tell her about the attraction that you have towards her sister and why you think that it is.
4. Let her decide what she wants to do.(Do Not force her to decide only time will work it out)
5. Be man and agree with her decision no mater what it is.

If you let someone go, and they comeback then it was meant to be.

N0help4u · Nov 15, 2007, 02:15 PM

Originally Posted by Str8cntryboy

I agree with str8
It sounds to me that your sister-in-law is playing with you. She knows how you feel and she can use that against you. See what kind of person the sister-in-law is, so that it will be easer to disconnect form.

The deal with the game is for gyanmusic, to see what kind of person the sister-in-law is, so that it will be easer to disconnect form. His wife has told him what kind of person she is and what she is trying to do, but until he can see it for himself he will not be able to just cut off the relationship. The sister-in-law is playing him for a fool because she knows that she has power over him. He has to see and he has to know or she will always have power over him. I speak from not every mans but from a mans point of view. We are easily manipulated when it comes to women we have to seek out the truth before we can do anything about it.

we put the man in manipulated

I agree with Str8
You need to look at her in a whole new perspective and disconnect your feelings for her.
She is loving the attention and seeing how much she can push your buttons for attention and see far you will want to take it. She may even go tell your wife if you try to cross the line.