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imINlimbo · Nov 15, 2007, 07:24 AM

I am at the end of my ropes, and hoping someone can shed some light on this situation.
I have been for the most part a stay at home mom for the last 10 years, taking part time work periodically when needed. Up until several years ago, I never realized how bad my husband was with money. I mean I knew but we didn't own anything so it wasn't extremely important. I finally convinced him to buy a condo think, he'll straighten up once he becomes a home owner. Boy was I ever wrong.
He is not an american citizen (this is his excuse) so he doesn't understand the ins and outs of our income and property taxes, but don't foreign citizens pay taxes and bills if not in a timely manner at least late?
Anyway he closed on the condo with a small debt of about $5K which he owed in income taxes to the IRS. He never paid it, he waited and waited until they finally threatened to garnish his wages. Now with about $500 less coming into the house, things just kind of snowballed from there, car repossession, property taxes have been paid by god knows who, mortgage in default several months. All along I thought he was taking care of things (maybe not, perhaps I knew in my sub conscious that he was messing up) after all he is responsible for two peoples lives (myself and my son). Part 2 to follow

imINlimbo · Nov 15, 2007, 07:40 AM

To summarize. I just don't want to trust him anymore. He blames everyone (me included) but himself. I now realize the importance of being self sufficient. It is the worst feeling to see things fall apart and not be able to actively do something about it.
He isn't a bad person even though we haven't slept together in god knows when. I guess I just kind of lost respect for him because he is so passive. In any case I don't have a support network, no family, one friend who I don't want to tire with my endless stories. I could never afford to live in the city that we currently reside in as a single parent. I would no doubt have to move to some small remote place in the US! I really don't want this because my son attends one of the best high schools in our city and I really want him to be exposed to positive, hard working students. What should I do? I never graduated from college, (two years shy of undergrad) but I owe so much money for student loans, so I can't finish. All the jobs that I apply for would only cover the rent MAYBE. Forget about food, heat etc.
And my credit is for lack of a better word... bad. Any input would be sooooooo... appreciated!

450donn · Nov 15, 2007, 07:52 AM

You might try counceling. Leaving one bad marriage is not the answer. Do you have a church that you are involved in?

cjonline · Nov 15, 2007, 08:12 AM

Before you leave the home, and drag a child along, try working through it. Maybe change a few things and then see where you stand. Money is a huge thing to fight over, but can be fixed. Get a job, contribute to the household; it gets you out and brings in extra money. Maybe take over paying the bills. It might go a long way or it might show you that you can't stay there.

Take an active part in your life and in the marriage and see where you are in six months or so and definitely look into counseling or groups for couples. Do some things together and see if it helps things at home.

familyman2 · Nov 16, 2007, 08:08 PM

Stay married... get counseling... please!

sGt HarDKorE · Nov 16, 2007, 08:38 PM

Its definitely possible to support yourself and your son but it will be hard. My mom is supporting me and my twin bro and she at some times get 0 dollars a week. Its hard for her she is always working and such but luckily where I am the school district is really good, its just as good as some really well known private schools such as De La Salle, so you just need to look for a good safe area if you plan to move but like others said, try to work it out. I wish my parents never separated and its affected me like crazy, always going back and forth.

talaniman · Nov 27, 2007, 04:35 PM

So sorry to hear of your predicament. Please get counseling, both for the marriage, and finances, to start with, and start looking for ways to support yourself, and taking care of the family finances, would be a good start, as hubby may not be a bad person, but out of his area of expertise. Worse case scenerio is welfare and divorce, but don't walk away because you are discouraged as many of us face all kinds of challenges in life, and live through it.