[annawanna]

For you to be griveing over the loss of a loved one and not know it?

[fredg]

Hi,
No, I think you will know "grief" when it hits you. Many people react differently to death of a loved one. Sometimes, it may not "hit" you until later, or much later. Then, you will know.
Some even try denying that the death actually happened, postponing grief until a later time, when they suddenly realize it.
I do wish you the best, and talking about it with others, face-to-face, really helps to get on with your life.

[NeedKarma]

It is possible that a person can experience a lingering, mild depression and not know that grief is the cause. Not everyone 'cries it out'.

[RickJ]

I agree with the latter. Grief is sorrow and sorrow is depressing. We don't want that so we try to "avoid" grief.

I think it probably not infrequent that a person might "subliminally hide" - or try to bury - their grief - insisting "I'm over it", or "I accept it", so see, I'm not grieving"

[talaniman]

for you to be griveing over the loss of a loved one and not know it?

I believe It to be possible as a lot of us deal with loss in different ways. :cool: :cool:

[Chery]

for you to be griveing over the loss of a loved one and not know it?

All the previous posts are good opinions and shows that each one of us deals with grief in our own way. Just as in childhood, there is a 'protection mechanism' when things get too hard to handle. In my case, and I'm sure in a lot of cases, especially in New York, the Pentagon, and Viet Nam, I lost a lot of loved ones and friends. My first fiancée was missing in 'Nam' and still no true remains found. I am a very sensitive person and have had my trials and tribulations, and sometimes, when alone, it comes up and I get very emotional. I try not to show it too much in public as a way of 'a protective wall' that most of us naturally build to prevent from going crazy. I still find myself not fully healed from this, but I also realize that life must go on for me and those loved ones still in need of my attention. Normally, when it's in the immediate family, there is always someone that needs to be 'strong' to handle the 'obligatory preparations and traditions' which will keep them busy, but after this period is over, the individual whose 'chore' this was will 'shut down' and emotionally take their time to mourn. This is a normal part of human nature and will take it's toll no matter what, a fact of life. Just as we fear the pain of birth, we also fear the pain of loss, so it is absolutely necessary to show these emotions and not keep them inside. So, if you are wondering if there is a 'socially acceptable timetable' to grieve, there is not, and you can grieve any way and any time your emotions feel the opportunity to do so, even if it is a month or year later, never feel ashamed of these emotions. Those that cannot mourn at any time at all are just lying to themselves and it will eventually be revealed in other ways. If you are experienceing this traumatic stage in your life right now, let it out any way, any time, and contact us when you need us. And believe me, deep down you do know it, you're just not allowing it to show for one reason or another. All my best wishes.