[askmehelpdesk]

i am a 26 years muslim guy, and i love a girl who is a cousin in my relation ,she is 20 years old, we were best friends since our childhood , but since last three years we love each other, we have done many times oral sex , but as per the islamic rule it is not good , so i m very much tensed after knowing this. in fact we both are ready to get marry soon , but as far as relation is concerned we often have oral sex together twice a month, so please guide me what should i do in this situation.?
Thanks.

[fredg]

Hi,
She is your cousin? Do you mean she is related to you in your family?
If she is really related to you, family wise, then don't get married.
There is nothing wrong in marrying someone who is not the same age as you, either younger or older.
But, she is only 20, and in my opinion, should not be marrying anyone yet; especially her cousin, if I am understanding this correctly.

[Fr_Chuck]

I understand in differnet cultures words are used with different meanings.
If you are talking about a child of your uncle and aunt then no, you should not marry a first cousin. Of course in many cultures that term only means any relitive even some distance ones.

Friendship is the most important issue within a relationship

Sex before marriage merely cheapens the value of marriage

As people get older 3,6,9 years difference in age means little ( till you start getting a lot older) so age should not be a real issue in a relatinship

[askmehelpdesk]

Thank you very much for the reply to you both people, but could any one help me or tell me what should I do in this case, I really think about it and find myself in a great shame, but how should I get rid of her. She is very much crazy about me. If she doesn't talk to me even for a day, she became mad and continiously keeps calling on my cell phone, this is totally reduculas for my hectic shedule, in fact I am not able to concentrate on my job at least.

Thanks.
Asif.

[JoeCanada76]

Confront her. Tell her to stop. Shut your cell phone off then you will not be called so much. It sounds like obsession. As far as beliefs and your customs you know in your heart it is not right for what you are doing. Ask for forgiveness with God and move on. Try to tell her how you feel. Then hopefully will understand. There is nothing wrong with being close and being intouch but the way she is doing it does sound over obsessive but you need to clear it up and try to explain that. That you do not feel it is right anymore. IF THAT IS THE WAY YOU PERSONALLY FEEL.

Joe

[aapki_hamdard_jan_nat]

U should marry her..
If u & she both love each other...
Don't worry about anyone..
Don't get nervous.

U know me very well.. because I'm a girl for whom you want sol... (I m cousin girl)

[Meriem]

Dude,

Two things:

- In Islam it is not forbidden to marry your first cousin, so the fact that she is your first cousin shouldn't stop you from marrying her

- Second, didn't you know it was forbidden to have oral sex before marriage? Come on! Being virgin before marriage is different than being "technically" virgin before marriage. Anyway, now it's done, if you respect the girl and love her then marry her!

I can't believe you told about her the way you did and made her look like a crazy psycholover!

Do whatever you want dude but remember that God is watching you!

Cheers,

Meriem