[9hththt2]

Ok, let’s see…
You are born, yay. Now what? Cry, change diapers, eat, play…
Now the FUN starts…
- Go to school, go home, eat, go to cinema with friends, go home, sleep.
- Wake up, take a shower, eat, go to the mall and waste freakin’ money, eat, go home, go to the internet, sleep.
-Wake up, have breakfast, take a shower, go for a walk on the beach, go home and eat, go to the internet, hang out with friends and boyfriend, go to your best friend’s house, etc.
Well that sounds very good, doesn’t it?
Yea… But that’s not the way life is. At least my life’s not like that.
No going to the cinema, neither spending freakin’ money. No going for walks, no going to best friend’s house nor hanging out with friends.
OK. Life’s just OK.
So… These are my parents’ conditions for me because I’m a creep.
They say I’m too lazy, I don’t care about life, I don’t care about nothing, I don’t even care about me. They keep saying that I should be more like my older sister.
I’m not saying I want to die or blah blah blah… It’s just that I can’t understand their attitude. They can’t change me. They have to love me for who I am. Why do they do this? :confused:

[almonkey]

Ok, let’s see…
You are born, yay. Now what? Cry, change diapers, eat, play…
Now the FUN starts…
- Go to school, go home, eat, go to cinema with friends, go home, sleep.
- Wake up, take a shower, eat, go to the mall and waste freakin’ money, eat, go home, go to the internet, sleep.
-Wake up, have breakfast, take a shower, go for a walk on the beach, go home and eat, go to the internet, hang out with friends and boyfriend, go to your best friend’s house, etc.
Well that sounds very good, doesn’t it?
Yea… But that’s not the way life is. At least my life’s not like that.
No going to the cinema, neither spending freakin’ money. No going for walks, no going to best friend’s house nor hanging out with friends.
OK. Life’s just OK.
So… These are my parents’ conditions for me because I’m a creep.
They say I’m too lazy, I don’t care about life, I don’t care about nothing, I don’t even care about me. They keep saying that I should be more like my older sister.
I’m not saying I want to die or blah blah blah… It’s just that I can’t understand their attitude. They can’t change me. They have to love me for who I am. Why do they do this? :confused:

You need to read Purpose Driven Life or something that helps you discover why you are here. The Bible is full of this info too. Not to make you "religious"but to answer your questions. You'd be surprised.
The world is at your fingertips. It is what YOU make it. No one does it for you. There is nothing better than discovering your gifts & using them. You definitely have them-everyone does, you just have to figure out what they are. Its not that you need to be your sister, it sounds like she is just more on track to discovering what her gifts are and where she is going.
Your parents sound worried about you and be thankful for that. Some people don't even have somebody that notices what they do or don't do. Their attitude- that would be the love and worry they have for you-maybe they aren't expressing it exactly the way you'd like them too- but they are just people-not perfect.

[N0help4u]

Often some parents can be inconsiderate to your feelings. My mother always told me I was immature. That was her reply to everything. She was still telling me that when I was 18. I was two years older than my sister even. It hurt a lot because I wasn't allowed to go to my friends, downtown, the malls, movies, learn to drive, etc... When my parents would take me somewhere like downtown and I would see 10 year olds downtown with no parents it would make me feel really bad that here I am at 14 and must be more immature than 10 year olds. I was always too afraid to ask her to even go to school things like sports or dances cause I didn't want to cry when she said N0. My mother always worried and bragged that she was raising me sheltered. I wanted to die! But I swore that when I was older and away from her making me feel like a little kid I was going to enjoy my life and not let her be involved other than visiting her.

One thing you can do while you are young is dream about goals and things you want to work toward when you get older. Read books and look up stuff on the computer about self improvement and goal oriented stuff like almonkey said.

[Fr_Chuck]

Parents can and do change their children's behavior, it is called parenting, When children are with the wrong friends, doing wrong things, it is not only a parents job but their duty to change the child and correct him.

So why not just change and become a proper behaving young person.

[s_cianci]

What exactly are your parents trying to get you to do that you're not doing? Are you saying that your parents want you to "go to the cinema, spend freakin' money, go for walks, go to best friend's house and hang out with friends" but you don't do those things? If that's the case, then why don't you do those things? If it's simply because you don't want to do those particular things, then I agree that your parents need to back off and love you for who you are. It's not like you're doing anything wrong. As long as you're keeping up with your schoolwork, staying out of trouble, helping out around the house, respecting the house rules regarding TV, phone computer, etc. and being respectful to your parents and teachers, then they have no legitimate beef against you. Actually they should consider themselves thankful that you're not out galavanting around the streets with who knows who and doing who knows what. It actually sounds like your parents are pretty naïve about the kinds of trouble unsupervised teenagers can get themselves into at the malls, the cinemas, etc. You just keep on being who you are and don't let anyone, parents or otherwise, put a guilt trip on you.

[N0help4u]

From what I get she is saying her parents are verbally abusive and belittle her and D0 N0T allow her to have any friends or go places.

[Sexyblackgirlnca]

Ok, let's see…
You are born, yay. Now what? Cry, change diapers, eat, play…
Now the FUN starts…
- Go to school, go home, eat, go to cinema with friends, go home, sleep.
- Wake up, take a shower, eat, go to the mall and waste freakin' money, eat, go home, go to the internet, sleep.
-Wake up, have breakfast, take a shower, go for a walk on the beach, go home and eat, go to the internet, hang out with friends and boyfriend, go to your best friend's house, etc.
Well that sounds very good, doesn't it?
Yea… But that's not the way life is. At least my life's not like that.
No going to the cinema, neither spending freakin' money. No going for walks, no going to best friend's house nor hanging out with friends.
OK. Life's just OK.
So… These are my parents' conditions for me because I'm a creep.
They say I'm too lazy, I don't care about life, I don't care about nothing, I don't even care about me. They keep saying that I should be more like my older sister.
I'm not saying I want to die or blah blah blah… It's just that I can't understand their attitude. They can't change me. They have to love me for who I am. Why do they do this? :confused:

Well
I have been in your shoes before sweetie but I learned that you should worry about being like someone else an be yourself but in the process of being yourself make sure you are happy maybe you should find something that makes you happy like sports are music are one of the fine arts an join an you will be forming those bonds we all need good frienships an then you can show your parents that you are your own personan othing like your sister

[9hththt2]

My parents spend too much time working... We don't talk that much.. There are some days that we only say good morning and good night. Sometimes I don't even see my dad, only past 24 hours. I always have lunch at school and when I get home I have dinner alone and then I go to my bedroom and stay on the computer.. the truth is I love computers since I was 6 years old. I play only games and I make some friends there too. My parents keep saying I'm addicted to the computer and blah blah. (Maybe I am) but I don't have anything else to do because they don't let me do what I want. It's like they're kind of jealous of my friends and they want to keep me away from them, so they don't even let me go to the cinema or whatever.
But I think that If they don't have time for me, keeping me away from my friends and from the rest of the world is not a good solution.

[9hththt2]

Yes my parents are verbally abusive. They keep saying I'm their mistake and I ain't worth a thing

[s_cianci]

But I think that If they don't have time for me, keeping me away from my friends and from the rest of the world is not a good solution.

I'll go along with this. It's their job to monitor your activities but it's also their job to be parents. If you feel an acute need to constantly be with your friends then that's a sign that's something's lacking in your family life.

[peggyhill]

Those are horrible things for parents to say to their child! You are a valuable unique person! I don't believe anyone is a mistake. Some people may not have been a planned pregnancy, but that doesn't mean that they are any less special or important! I dealt with the same stuff from my foster mom (who later adopted me). She isn't a bad person, but she has some issues. Her mom was abusive to her, and she just doesn't know how to be nice to people. She never let me go anywhere, even though I got straight As and never even got a detention in school. I wasn't allowed to date until I was 18. I wasn't allowed to go anywhere by myself until I was 18. After I got a little older, I found out that my mom had been raped as a teen. I think that's why she was so overprotective. If your folks won't let you go anywhere, and you haven't given them a reason not to trust you, then maybe they are just trying to protect you from the world. Having been in a similar situation myself, the best advice I can give you is this: when you are 18, you can do whatever and go wherever you want! So hang in there! In the meantime try to compromise with your parents. If they don't want you to go out alone, then maybe you could join a club or sport at school or at a community center. If you are a religious person, youth groups can be a great way to meet people and make friends. Are they OK with friends coming over to your house? Another reason clubs or sports might be good is because you will have positive adult role models supervising these activities. Then you will have some adults around you who aren't being verbally abusive. Try to get out and do things, even if it's hard. There isn't anything wrong with being on the computer a lot or liking video games, but you have to try to connect to people your age in person too, otherwise you risk becoming lonely. Just accept that your parents are human beings who have faults and issues of their own. Show them respect and follow their rules, since they are your parents, but ignore the negative things that they say. Someday, if you decide to have children, at least you will know how NOT to talk to them. If it gets to be more than you can handle, talk to a teacher, school counselor, or another trusted adult that you know well. Be honest with them, and, hopefully, as time goes by, they will give you more freedom. And, like I said, when you are 18 you are your own boss. Good luck and hang in there! I've been there myself and I PROMISE it will get better! :)

[9hththt2]

Big thanks to everyone.
I really appreciate your opinion. I'm starting to feel much better. :)

[9hththt2]

You made me think.. You are right. Thanks for helping :)

[9hththt2]

So it is normal.. They just want the best for me. :) Thank you, sincerely

[Sexyblackgirlnca]

yes my parents are verbally abusive. They keep saying I'm their mistake and I ain't worth a thing

Sweetie your parents say that you are there mistake but not to be getting religious are nothing but god don't make mistakes an it was he who put you here they are just the ones he chose to be your parents although it may be hard to hear that sweetie remember that Karma is not a joke if they belittle you in such away then that's why they have prblems in there life because they are not going to have any good luck at all an you just keep ypur head up an no that you are a very wonderful person an that you love yourself first an for most make you happy an tone out all the other stuff because I heard ignorance is a bliss but I don't know but let you parents ly an bath in there ignorance an show them that you are no mistake but the best thing that ever happened to them

[N0help4u]

No it is N0T normal. I was N0T saying it was normal at all. I was saying I can relate.
It IS abusive, but other than talking to a counselor I don't know what you can do since your parents will never see it as anything but being a 'good parent'. Talking to a counselor could result in them having to take parenting classes or family counseling.
I know if you try talking to them they will have the attitude that you are being an ungrateful brat since they have it in their head that you are their mistake. They may think of you as how to have a power trip by having control over you.
It is called the black sheep child

When I was living in Texas there was a story on the news about a boy around 10 years old and 45 pounds. His parents called their mistake. They said he was literally cursing the family. They locked him in the bathroom and told the other kids never to talk about him to anybody. They fed him in there with the dog. One day he escaped out the bathroom window and went to a garage where they helped him.
Anyway that is one of the worst case senerio's of parents believing their kid is a mistake.

[peggyhill]

I think I heard about that kid. I remember reading a book either about him or someone else, but I'm not sure about the name. I think it was "A Child Called It", but I don't know the author. Disturbing stuff!

[bushg]

peggyhill, Dave peltzer is the child in the book and the author of it. He wrote a couple of follow ups to it.