[Lifeinperspective]

I am so depressed. So sad. My adult daughter is not getting better or over her depression and alcoholism. She has a son whom I have, for all practical purposes, raising and I love him as though he was my own. It's been about 10 years now. It is wearing me down. My health is showing wear and tear. But, I cannot let my grandson go down with her so I stay and help with support, love and finances. She is very hurtful to me. And, of course, blames me for any and all things that have happened to her or that she has not become. I am sick and tired of it. Yet, I cannot leave my grandson with her alone. I have tried. On one occasion she almost got him and her killed while she was driving drunk on private property in an ATV and had him drive and they wrecked. She has threatened to kill cats on her property with a gun while she was totally drunk. She locks him in the room with her while she sleeps off her drunk and won't allow him to leave. I have tried the courts and dept of human services... but because I take such good care of him... and have worked so hard at keeping his life normal... and because by the time they get around to interviewing her... she's sober... nothing has happened. Sometimes I would like to just take him and run... but of course, besides being against the law, it would break her heart. She lost custody of her other two sons to their father because if her inability to control her alcoholism. She's been through rehab. When she's sober and on anti depressants... she is so nice. But that is very seldom. She will not get help from a psychiatrist or the like... I hate this. And I really have no one to talk to. I've done counseling and they all advise allowing her to fall to the curb, so to speak... and I will not allow her to take my grandson there. Please give me your feedback. I am hurting so... and so is she... she really hates me.

[sadmotherwadultdaughter]

I am so sorry and will pray for you... i have problems with my adult daughter.

[tarrytwo]

My adult 38 year old daughter is also an alcoholic, cannot hold a job, thinks of no one but herself. My husband and I have been raising our granddaughter for 3 years now and she will be 16 soon. She is the one suffering and wants a mom so bad.

[DianeLC]

Hello.. I know what u are going through right now. My adult daughter has lost her children and had to give up her rights to them. She went on a drinking nithg and ended in a detox. If she didn't give her rights up she would have gone to prison and she didn't want to do this. The funniest thing when she did the night of drinking she wa already in a rehab. This has gone on for so many years I am exhusted. Her father and I are divorced and have been for 3 years now. He was never any help for me with her any way. He would rather run and hide then to face it. But then he has parkinson and drinks to. This new man in my life is not tolerent of her and the woman my ex is with is not tolerent with it either but then his woman is a former drunk and her dughter drinks to. She don't live around here so that helps. To get back to my daughter she has been on a drunk for over a week now with no let up. She wants to stay with me but I can't have the drinking. I would be enabling her again. She has to get her self up and going. Right now she has no one but the drunks she is hanging with. I have lost my rights to the kids because of her. In this state the parent of the person who gave up the rights has to file for visitation rights before a family court. I am upset with her for that. I don't want to see her the way she looks now. I have thought to have her committed but then she has been in so many rehabs with no luck. I figure she is going to hit rock bottom and end up in the hospital. I can't help her any more. She has to do it for herself.

[jennytaylor]

Please continue to fight for your Grandson. Take pictures, try and get a video, when she is drunk and you are at her house, call the police. He will suffer greatly if you do not get him away from her and you are only enabling her by helping out. My Mom did the very same thing with my sister and has spent a fortune, she has been in "Rehab" 5 or 6 times now and she continues to drink. Her daughter is so messed up and is struggling to be 'Normal", but she hates her Mom and loves her at the same time. It is very sad.
I wish you all the luck in the world, but I strongly suggest you call the police every time she gets drunk-that will help you get your Grandson away from him-this might actually be what saves her but don't get your hopes up-it never helped my sister.

[Speysider]

I have an alcoholic daughter and her son lives with me he kept coming down to my house saying she was having parties and he didn't like the noise and shouting going on in his house, my husband and I ended up just taking him and she never put up any fight which in a way is sad, she see's him often but is still drinking heavily and has been put out of her house because of noise and parties is now living in homeless accommodation which she is getting evicted from also because she keeps disappearing for weeks and is in arrears with her rent.

I go to al anon once a week which helps me cope more than I did before and feel until she has hit rock bottom she will never stop drinking. It is very hard to watch your child get deeper and deeper into a hole of despair but I have to think of my grandson and put his needs first. Tough love is very hard to do but sometimes it's the only way.