[greatinbed]

I had this friend who I loved so much, more than my family you could say. We had a really great relationship, or so I thought. It all started with her telling me she was raped at the age of 10 by her uncle. I was terrified and I didn't know what to tell her, I myself didn't know how to deal with a situation like that. Then, she ran away and they found her the next day. She hadn't told anyone but me and when her mom asked her she didn't say anything because her mom had also been raped when she was young ans she didn't think it was right for her to tell her mom that somehthing so horrific happened to her. So, I was left to tell her mom and then I went to her house and spent the day together crying and trying to get past that.

Months passed and my friend became suicidal, she took pills and she called me up and said what she had done. I immediately went to her house and we cried together because I cared for her so much, I didn't want her to die nor did I know what to do. She got sent away to a rehabilitation place and I missed her a lot. It was devastating for me to have to be away from her. She came back to school and we were still wonderful friends.

One night, I was at my sister's house and her boyfriends confessed to me and her that he had screwed her. I was in denial because I never thought my friend capable of such a thing. He told me that it wasn't only once and that she had also done it with his friend, which happened to be my sister's ex boyfriend. Then I heard from my other friend's boyfriend that he also screwed her. Then at school, a rumor was going around that she had screwed around with my other sister's boyfriend. It was a terrible mess, and I defended her because I didn't think something like that could be possible. IN the end, I was wrong. She confessed to me that she had screwed both my sister's boyfriends, my friend's boyfriend, quick a lot of others, and then my boyfriend, we had recently broken up so our feelings were still strong.

Then, she confessed that she wasn't only raped by her uncle but also her brother and that she had never told anyone about it because she didn't want to get her brother in trouble. I was mad at her for not telling me anything. Here I was thinking she was my best friend, and it turns out that she never told me anything and that possibly everything was a lie. I felt betrayed and I haven't forgiven her for it. Now, almost six months after this has happened, she called me again(I moved recently) and asked if she could come see me. I am not mad anymore but I don't want to see her again, and I just told her another. She wants to come visit me and I don't even want to talk to her again, she betrayed me in the worst way... not to mention screwing mine and my sister's boyfriends. She caused a lot of damage and I want to say it's not her fault but it is. Am I being unjust? Is this wrong? Should I be more compassionate? Let me know what you think, yup. Bye.

[Katiy]

A friend in need, is a friend indeed. You were there for her, and she was not loyal to you. She did not value your friendship. She does not value herself. There is no more that you can do for her. Do not cast your pearls to swine. Why expose yourself to all of that creepy stuff? People will think you are like her. Because you turned your back, she is beginning to value you. As far as the boyfriends, that is their fault. She was only a friend. They were much more than that to you. You and your sister gave them your heart. They didn't respect that much. You are not the one that needs her, she is the one that needs you. Since you have so much love to give the world, why don't you volunteer. Somewhere that you feel there is a need, and then you can be appreciated for the love you have to give, and even if they don't love you back, you will be maintaining your respect and self worth when you volunteer, because, that is where your heart's desire will be.

[s_cianci]

It is not uncommon for young rape victims to become promiscuous when they reach their teens. They receive the message that casual sex, often coupled with abuse, wherever and with whomever, is normal and desirable, especially when no trusted adult confronts the issue on their behalf. What this girl suffered was horrific indeed. I don't make excuses for her lying and everything else but try to be a little compassionate in light of what happened to her. Tell her honestly and upfront how you feel. She needs to be aware of how her behavior impacts other people. She won't be motivated to change otherwise and even that is going to require extensive counseling and therapy. You may want to encourage her to pursue that as she has a long hard path to recovery and healing. She needs a friend like you who can provide the emotional support that she needs. You may be the only true friend she's ever had. Don't play rescuer but be there for her to lean on.

[talaniman]

You can be honest and compassionate just protect yourself since you already know what this person is capable of. :cool: