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RNM · Nov 6, 2007, 12:06 PM

Hey,
How do I let this guy know that I want to sleep with him occasionally but just like be friends with benefits. How do I let him know that, that I just want that? Thanks

tickle · Nov 6, 2007, 02:17 PM

Just tell him THAT in a conversation. What can be more simple and if that's all you want, then what is there to lose??

Are you afraid to talk about it because he wants more ?

jeeves · Nov 7, 2007, 10:24 AM

Well first of all is he into you? His answer could go in your favor or not. Are you prepared for that?
Simplify it. Just buy a vibrator and think of him when "doing" it.

jeeves · Nov 7, 2007, 10:24 AM

Originally Posted by RNM

hey,
how do i let this guy know that i want to sleep with him occasionally but just like be friends with benefits. how do i let him know that, that i just want that? thanks

Well first of all is he into you? His answer could go in your favor or not. Are you prepared for that?
Simplify it. Just buy a vibrator and think of him when "doing" it.

rigged pin · Feb 25, 2008, 07:15 PM

But what if he want more

Fr_Chuck · Feb 25, 2008, 07:19 PM

Most sure way to destroy a friendship ( if that is all you want) is to add sex, at some point in time, one will want more and have nothing.

simoneaugie · Feb 26, 2008, 10:55 PM

I have several guy friends (including my ex husband) who are, or were, with benefits. Now that I'm married, we don't, but are still friends. We talk on the phone, a lot about the women they are with, and go out for lunch, share ideas. My husband knows that they were more than just friends before. He trusts me, so I am trustworthy.

Some men are more open to the idea than others. If a guy has been raised in a setting that teaches that sexual relations wrong outside of marriage, he might well tell you to take a flying... Humans have natural desire to forge and then maintain relationships. Sex is a gift that happens at certain times, in certain situations. If someone is your friend, a relationship may or may not include sex.

Yeah, just tell him where your mind is. If he is willing, verbally explore what may happen to your friendship when one or the other of you chooses a permanent partner.

I do hope that Fr_Chuck does not see fit to give me another reddie because we disagree.

Junaid169 · Jan 29, 2009, 07:14 AM

Originally Posted by RNM

hey,
how do i let this guy know that i want to sleep with him occasionally but just like be friends with benefits. how do i let him know that, that i just want that? thanks

I don't agree with most of these reply's. :eek:

What you want is something up to you and u will have to bare the consequences. Same goes for him.

Nothing is established here and don't make assumptions either, it would be judging. NOT GOOD

I think just casually and slowly talk about stuff like that if he is into it, u'll get a hint & you will eventually find a moment where you can brought it up and get the answer. Don't assume Yes or NO!
Guys have feelings too so don't crush him

Don't bring it up suggesting you are "that kind of person"... coz that's the last thing you want.

FWB for fun could be fun actually!!
;)

liz28 · Jan 29, 2009, 10:53 AM

Just tel him plain and simple. He will even be on board with the idea or not. To be honest most guys would jump on wagon and go for this and some won't.

Just be careful and make should this is really want you want and know the ups and downs that come along with being friends with benefits.

chrissymarie · Jan 29, 2009, 11:01 AM

You have to tell him. Just say your not looking for a relationship right now but you do enjoy "hanging out" with him.

Nostradamus_pk · Jan 29, 2009, 12:30 PM

Originally Posted by chrissymarie

You have to tell him. Just say your not looking for a relationship right now but you do enjoy "hanging out" with him.

Okay I did not know I can't say the f word... in my response after to it is the f word nicely putting it she was to have intercourse.

chrissymarie · Jan 29, 2009, 12:42 PM

Nostradamus_pk:

She can say she still wants to hang out with him but isn't looking for a relationship, and every time they "hang out" they can have sex...

Walaaa! A friend with benefits has been created. :)

menoshoes · Jan 30, 2009, 08:36 PM

Think about it before you do it. Why do you want to? My 1st relationship was friends and benefits. Yea it was great we did it for 2 years. After awhile I had feelings for the guy and he was also sleeping with other women & had no feelings back. It is pretty easy to tell a guy that you want to have benefits. Just start talking like normal then gradually start talking about things you like and give hints. I personally like to do it like phone sex- but you will be able to make sure he does not have a girlfriend. Above all wear protection !

N0help4u · Jan 30, 2009, 08:45 PM

Realize that one of two things may happen
1. as menoshoes said he may develop real *love* feelings for you and you may not have any feelings back
2. he may see you as easy or a slut and have less respect for you

roxypox · Feb 1, 2009, 11:03 AM

You should just plain out tell him, which way you want to say it is up to you, you could just tell him casually in a conversation or however else, just a way that feels natural and comfortable for you.

If he's a close friend you might have something to loose by doing it, but if he's not that close you don't really stand to loose that much

But like some of the others have said, you should be sure about whether this is really what and be aware that one of you may develop feelings for the other, not just because of the emotional sides of having intercourse with someone else, but there are biological factors as well.

Good luck though!

talaniman · Feb 1, 2009, 03:07 PM

I don't think you have to say anything to him except yes to sex, and no to everything else. He will figure it out.

RNM · Jun 29, 2009, 11:58 AM

Hi,

I'm really worried and upset here because my boyfriend and I met on this dating profile and this dating profile is for young people from 16- and up. My boyfriend shows his love to me because he does these really sweet gestures for me and we've been together now for 4 months. He would not cheat on me but the thing is I know he still has his profile on this dating site and he still goes on it. I erased mine a long time ago and he knows that. But I'm really worried and upset it can make me cry, because my question is: is it common for guys who are in a relationship and who say they love the girl, to have a profile on a dating site?? :( I don't want to be the jellous girlfriend but since it really bothers me should I talk to him about it and ask him why he still has it??

Thanks for listening!

I wish · Jun 29, 2009, 12:02 PM

Is your relationship based only on the Internet? Have you ever met in person? If not, then he might not be able to take the relationship as seriously as you do.

RNM · Jun 29, 2009, 01:57 PM

Yes we are dating and are in a relationship outside the internet completely. We have both said I love you to each other.

Justwantfair · Jun 29, 2009, 02:01 PM

4 months isn't long.
If you don't doubt your exclusitivity then I wouldn't fret it.
It's not polite, but he might not really even be thinking about it.
My boyfriend has had his for five years, we live together, doesn't bother me. Is it respectful 'no', but I trust him and he doesn't pay it two licks of attention.