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    donibrook0122's Avatar
    donibrook0122 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 14, 2005, 05:54 PM
    So Many Choices
    This is a complex part of my life.

    Can anybody PLEASE tell me about the dark haired man that I know so well and care for so much. He has "problems" in his life, and I have "problems" in my life... very, very different problems.

    I'm looking for a reading... whatever you seems to get. It could be a romantic (so to speak) reading... it could be they type, "is he telling me the truth"... it could be a reading about each of our major problems. This is open for you and would be appreciative of ANY type of reading.

    We're both 45 years old and temporarily separated by about 200 miles.

    Thanks! BTW... ask questions if you wish... I'm open. Tyvm
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
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    #2

    Nov 15, 2005, 07:44 AM
    So Many Choices,

    Well I think you need to start making decisions. Stop prastinating. Whether they are good or bad choices we all learn from our decisions.

    Joe
    fredg's Avatar
    fredg Posts: 4,926, Reputation: 674
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    #3

    Nov 15, 2005, 08:42 AM
    Readings
    Hi,
    At 63 yrs old, I really don't believe in "readings", but might have some suggestions. Maybe someone who does believe in them will give you some answers.
    I have made much more than my share of mistakes in life so far, and firmly believe in "try making fewer and fewer of the same ones". But, that doesn't always work either!
    If you are separated by 200 miles, then are you communicating by post office mail, emailing, other? I would keep communicating with him, keep the communication lines open.
    You are not alone with "problems", I'll bet everyone has them.
    Since you care so much for this man, I do hope you and he can really have a good talk, face-to-face, sometime soon. You both need to "clear the air", tell each other how you really feel.
    If it is meant to be, it will happen. Are you looking for marriage? Or just simply looking for a good friend?
    Give it some time until you both can actually meet. It only only by talking with someone that you will know whether he is sincere or not. If it doesn't work out, please get out, if you can, and meet new people. Join some groups, who ever, and start talking with others.
    donibrook0122's Avatar
    donibrook0122 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Nov 15, 2005, 10:37 AM
    Info Left Out
    Ok... I left out vital information... I thought it would cloud issues. It was NOT to mislead anybody.

    I have known this man, in the flesh, for several years. However very late last year he went back to drugs (uggggg) and ended up robbing 2 banks. So I CANNOT see him as he is in a county jail awaiting sentencing (bank robbery is a Federal offense). This is his 2nd time going down this road.

    He has SO MUCH to offer the world... and himself. I will always be his friend no matter what. I won't tolerate drug usage and he knows this.

    My friend keeps telling me that he has been working on something (hopefully burning the drug bridges!) and possibly will see me in late 2006. That's part of what I was trying to get a handle on. Is this wishful thinking or a real possibility?

    I'm sorry if withholding clouded issues... now maybe others can see what a mess he's gotten himself into... and HE must get HIMSELF out of.

    Thanks for reading and for responding!!
    donibrook0122's Avatar
    donibrook0122 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Nov 15, 2005, 10:40 AM
    JesusHelper... love the name. Very well said.

    Procrastination, fortunately, is not for me. I'm a DO-ER and very comfortable with making things work.

    As you'll see, I added a bit to my post... maybe this will help.

    BTW... as in your nickname... yes, we pray TOGETHER pretty often. We set aside a day and time and we meet, in our own ways, and pray together. The last time, some amazing things happened!

    Blessings!
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
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    #6

    Nov 15, 2005, 12:27 PM
    That is good. You left so much out in your first post it was hard to make any comment at all. Thank you for responding again. I will post more later. Have to run. As far as some people are concerned you could try helping them out and trying to help them develop a better life but at the same time they are not going to do it unless they really want to change. I myself have been trying to help a certain somebody but they do not seem like they want to change because it does not seem to me they are even trying to change. Then I remind myself that I can not force change on somebody even if it is for their own good. I have used that name for the past 5 years on other sites as well.

    Joe
    donibrook0122's Avatar
    donibrook0122 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Nov 15, 2005, 09:41 PM
    Thanks for trying
    Thanks for trying --- it's very nice of both of you to take time out to try to help. You're both very giving and I appreciate it.

    Yes, my first post was a bit vague. As I said, I didn't want to cloud anything or give a wrong impression. It's all SO complicated. So many IF's.

    However, my life (and his too) has not stopped. It never does. I do what I have to do, and what I want to do. At 45 years old, I'm entitled. LOL As long as it's safe, moral and legal... all will be OK.

    Fredg... love and marriage. I don't know about that. Even if he were "out" right now... any MARRIAGE would be a long time in coming I believe. We're not even THINKING of this right now.

    The best we can do is snail mail letters back and forth. He asks for no money or tangibles (which you cannot have in jail anyway)... only letters and honesty. I pretty much ask the same.

    Also as stated, we set aside time to be together and pray together. The main theme is of course, right NOW, for his drug recovery and impending imprisonment. We also pray for some of my issues and always for others (both that we know and don't know).

    He's a very charismatic (sp?) man... and very intelligent. We both are intelligent... and very cautious about certain things. We DO talk about them.

    However, sometimes I get... I don't know... almost like scared that possibly he may be not telling me the truth about how he feels (about me). He has never given me a reason to question this... I think it's because I can't see his EYES when he speaks. The eyes tell so much.

    Now that he's saying that there is a very excellent chance that he'll see me (and be together) late in 2006 HE BELIEVES... I don't know what to think. It makes me happy OF COURSE, but could this POSSIBLY be true?

    I think that's my main question... will he see me outside of jail/prison (be done w/ that mess he created for himself)?? If I had to narrow it down from "SO MANY CHOICES" (should have said So Many Questions) to ONE question, it would be... WILL HE BE OUT IN LATE 2006 AND WILL BE AT LEAST GET A CHANCE TO BE TOGETHER (to see if "things" work out).

    There are others in my life that I care for and don't want to hurt in any way. To hurt somebody is not a good thing... and it's not my style. HOWEVER I don't want to pine away for 20 years (we will ALWAYS be friends if he doesn't get out... and I always will continue to write!).

    I'm long winded tonight... sorry. I guess I'm just chatty. LOL

    Thanks friends!
    ranieri's Avatar
    ranieri Posts: 136, Reputation: 13
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    #8

    Nov 21, 2005, 07:21 AM
    Donibrook0122
    If you wait for this man and meet him your life in the future will be no more a stabel relationship than it is now. This is his energy for this life time. He is not necessarily a keeper. You will be friends but I would not take it any further. You say you work on certain things together, you both know what you want in life and how you want it. So how does all of this lying and cheating figure in, if you 2 are so righteous about everything.
    You are stubborn to the point of being bull headed, if someone tells you you can't or shouldn't be doing it, you will do it all the more out of rebellion. This is not control of your life or your passions. You sound so strong willed but when I reach your energy, you are somewhat of a push over. You have let others walk all over you, not stood up for yourself like you should have. You talk a strong talk but I feel that you are not so brash andbold as you would like everyone else to think.
    You are being strong about your feelings in this so called one sided relationship but it rips your heart out and you just keep pushing it all deeper inside you all the anger, hurt and resentment over what his actions have done to the reletionship. To you. This is not the way a man shows his affections and wanting to love and support a woman. He is of no support to you. I see you carrying all the weight ,the burden of the relationship. Its back breaking the way you bend and sway to make it work and he does nothing but keep expecting you to understand him and he's not there for you physically or mentally. Not at all the way you are there for him. I see you with breathing problems or almost to the point of anxiety attacks over this. Such a heaviness in your young at heart heart.
    Someone so young at heart should not carry the weight of the world around on their shoulders the way you do. You should be out having fun meeting new people having fun, going to an amusement park or just playing outside. The out of doors is very important to you. And I don't see you dong that either. Exercise,has always been a part of your vitality and you are not doing that either. You are to help while you are here, help others less fortunate than yourself, so you are drawn to his energy. But this is not the way you were meant to help. You will not be able to make it all right for him. I know you want to. But he wiil not let you he is a grown man, he does know right from wrong. And he is not willing to give up this behaviour he thinks he has a right to behave this way, like it was his god given right. WRONG! It was bred into him at such a small age. It would take years and years of ongoing therapy to make him so. And he is not willing nor does he think he is so bad off.
    Right now he is scared, he would pray to god if he thought it would keep him out of jail. Out of prison. But what right has he to hold someone at gun point, to take others rights away and he expects you and God to be so forgiving NOW! He was not so forgiving at the time he pulled his big fiasco. Peac ranieri
    donibrook0122's Avatar
    donibrook0122 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Nov 21, 2005, 07:47 AM
    Very True
    Holy cow, holy buckets. You hit the TWO nails on the head. I'm out the door right now, but I would and WILL respond to you in ernst. **amazed**

    I must tell you that there are TWO (3 with me) energies you're picking up on. I have already let the one of nearly 7 years GO. You are very right, user, selfish, always his feelings. He's GONE... but his energy still remains. The other... robbed a bank... for drugs. Non violent, no gun. It makes no difference, he at the very least scared somebody.

    I'm excited you came and read this... THANK YOU. As I said, I will respond ASAP when I get back to separate the two... I'm hoping that will help.

    Righteous? No... I don't think so. Try to be good, decent and kind, but righteous... I really don't see it. I will think hard about that though.

    Thank you very much... I can't wait to discuss this a little with you.. if you are willing.

    Many blessings, happy holidays!

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