[Alty]

He's beautiful, such a sweetie. Enjoy every minute, they grow up way too fast. :)

[talaniman]

Congrats guy, I know you'll be a great dad!

[snuffy]

Congrats guy, I know you'll be a great dad!

Thanks, I will always do my best and put him first in line of all my priorities.

Going to register him tomorrow. Hope all goes well. We did agree on having both our surnames. I just hope she keeps the promise, it will be a nice touch and signal the intent of continuing co-operation and us working together for the good of baby :)

Snuffy

[Alty]

Sounds like mom has done a complete turnaround, I hope it continues, for your sake, but especially for baby's. I don't know if you want to post it, but I sure would like to know his name.

[snuffy]

Sounds like mom has done a complete turnaround, I hope it continues, for your sake, but especially for baby's. I don't know if you want to post it, but I sure would like to know his name.

Sure, ( I won't reveal either of our surnames for privacy however.)

His first name is Riley.

[Alty]

That's a very nice name for a very sweet baby. :)

Just so we're even. My son is named Jared and my daughter is Sydney. :)

[snuffy]

That's a very nice name for a very sweet baby. :)

Just so we're even. My son is named Jared and my daughter is Sydney. :)

Equally, very nice names. Both rare and distinguished :)

[Chery]

Just saw the pictures - absolutely beautiful!

Again, I'm really glad it is 'happening' for you and that you are happy!

[bigbird213]

I really like the name Riley.

Congrats Snuffy!

[tiamokiss]

Here; pictures of baby's very first feed, at 20 minutes old, and above, a picture of him on Father's day.


Snuffy

Ooohhh so cute, he looks like u :)

[snuffy]

ooohhh so cute, he looks like u :)

Aww thanks. DO you reckon?

First thing the midwife said to me. He looks just like his daddy. All of her family and herself, they think that he looks just like me, and not even at all like her.

I kind of think he does in a way, but it's so hard to tell. All I know is he is truly beautiful.

[ordinaryguy]

So I take it you're not going to get the paternity test?

[ChihuahuaMomma]

Congratulationsssssssssssss

[polska]

Hey all,

Just wanted to inform everybody that my baby son was born on friday morning.

My ex-girlfriend called me in the early hours to ask me to be there (in hospital) and I went.

Seeing your newborn baby has got to be the greatest feeling in the world. It is instant love.

All my fears of the worst happening (not being abe to see baby and getting a hard time off the ex) have not materialised. In fact, she, her family have been absolutely excellent. It is a complete turnaround. I am so, so delighted.

I genuinely think, having talked to her, that she is going to fine with me, as I am with her, and that we are going to be the greatest parents we can be to our baby son, whatever the circumstances are between us.

Seeing that newborn gorgeous baby has taken away all the pain and troubles of the last 8 months. I am so glad that i followed advice and did not do or say anything silly to the ex girlfriend, when it would have been far easier to vent my understandable anger and frustration back at her.

I have managed to not make things worse between us by following Talaniman and others' advice, and this really has, I think, enabled things to be easy, not-at-all awkward, and I am sure we have the foundation to be friendly with each other, co-operative and good parents.


Perhaps, (again, as people on here said to me) I under-estimated the impact of hormones, her relatively young age (18), the fact she will be very scared of what's happening to her body, added to the fact that others will have been filling her head with all sorts of crap. Yes she may have drunk and been obnoxious, but really NONE OF THAT MATTERS. It is all water under the bridge, and like I said that baby has made me, and her, the happiest people on this planet.


I don's expect us to get back together, and it doesn't have any bearing on how we will bring up our baby, but never say never. Maybe, just maybe, one day there is a chance we can all be together. I won't rule it out. With work and mutual commitment, who knows? I'm not going to jump the gun or get hopes high for no reason, but I think it is also healthy to keep an open mind and to go with the flow. I have learnt some very important lessons about myself and about how to react to situations with the girlfriend. In all I feel I have come out of this a far more mature person, and her too.


Yours happy,

Snuffy :)

ps That baby is 100% mine, he is my double. :) I love my life right now.

Congratulations! I'm sure this is the happiest day of your life. Enjoy your beautiful baby son. You will be a wonderful dad! This is a new beginning for your life.
Awesome! Life is wonderful, isn't it? Pure... unconditional... LOVE!

Way to go SNUFFY! Or should I say DAD!

Congrats!

[snuffy]

Hey guys: a further update,

Still things are going well, baby's Mum and I getting on civilly and well, treating EACH OTHER with respect and appreciation :)

Been seeing baby fairly regulary at her house.

Sunday she allowed me to take him to my house on my own for 2 hours (to start with because its first time away from mother), and the best thing is that she suggested it. I did not even consider that she would allow me to have him so soon, and I was not going to ask her for at least 8 weeks!

She was tearful and crying when she strapped his seat into my car. I felt really bad and compassionate for her as I can't imagine what it is like to have the baby blues. I said to her 'thanks for letting me have him and I promise he will be back prompt and on time, you can trust me."


Needless to say I had him back to her house on the dot and well, I am glad that this milestone has been achieved. It bodes well for our 'relationship as [mutually co-operative] parents'. And I guess it means she trusts me appreciates me as a good decent loving parent. Hopefully we can continue in this vein.


So, still, all in all very good, and the best thing to come out of all this is that this baby is going to have so much love from both his parents. I know he would get all this love if we were all living together, but it seems he gets even more, if you know what I mean!


Fantastic! Who knows what the future holds. Whatever, though, it is all good if it remains like this. :)

Love and regards,

Snuffy

[bigbird213]

Glad to hear it bud...

I'm happy for you, truly happy.

Take care.

[snuffy]

THERE has been a major change again; for the worse. :(


I last saw my son exactly one week ago. That evening baby's mum sent me a text message saying that we need to sort something out regular regarding when I can see the baby - some sort of routine - which is all fine. I knew we would eventually have to discuss it after the newness of the situation subsided.


So I got a text 'offering' me the following:

Two days per week for a couple of hours each time, at her house.
3 hours at my house on alternate saturdays.

She asked me 'what do you think?'


I sent a reply saying that I would prefer to come up to her house so we can discuss it properly and reach a better compromise.


Then the reply I got to it was that her 'offer' was 'more than fair' and if I don't like it to go see a lawyer.

I then called her and said that I thought we could perhaps be a bit fairer and to allow me a little more time than she suggested, and that the idea is that we don't involve lawyers unless it is an absolute last resort. I was calm and level headed throughout.

She was uninterested in compromising at all and said that if I don't like it it's tough luck and to get a lwyer then slammed the phone down on me.


A couple hours later I received a text message which 'offered' me to take our baby every Monday, weds, and fri, for 3 hours a time, and every alternate sat for 5 hours.

I actually think this is quite reasonable, certainly while he is so young. I mulled it over and decided to leave her for a couple of days, and on the Wednesday morning last week, I sent her a message saying I accept the hours she has offered me and could I take the baby tonight for 3 hours.

To my dismay, I received a text which said the following:
"Sorry [snuffy]. I have been to see a solicitor (lawyer), been advised not to have any contact with you until it is sorted. And you can't take the baby until its sorted."


I sent a reply straight away saying "We agree on the hours so I don't see the point in involving lawyers."


Needless to say, I had to go to a solicitor that afternoon, and informed him of the situation and the refusal to let me see my son. He has set the ball rolling and said he is arranging for mediation to try to agree on terms to see the baby. He will write to her to invite her to mediation.

He also highly doubted that any lawyer would have advised her to avoid contact with me and not let me see the baby. He said it would be unethical and totally against common practice, and said that lawyers encourage the client to AVOID court unless there is no hope at all of agreement.

I did agree with her, so it's quite bizarre that she is doing this. But on the other hand, I have come to expect erratic behaviour.

In any case, I am confident that I will get to see my baby soon and in one sense, I guess, it may actually help me avoid being 'controlled' and manipulated by her.

Still it is all a bizarre thing to do to me and I cannot understand her games.Just like she threatened on a few occasions, she is using the baby as a weapon to hurt and control me, and alienating me, as she holds all the power (at present).

But strangely, her forcing his issue through lawyers will stop her being able to manipulate me as it will be in the mediators hands when I can see the baby, not on her whim.

Yours exasperated and disillusioned.

Snuffy.

[bigbird213]

Sorry to hear that things didn't stay as happy as they were a few weeks ago bud, but if she is refusing to talk to you then she really didn't leave you a choice. I think she is starting to show her true colors and it is obvious that she isn't willing to discuss it rationally or maturely with you.

As tough as it is, speaking with the lawyer is probably the only way to go about things now, regardless of whether she was lying about being advised to avoid contact. That is her decision, so now its your turn to decide if you want to pursue legal action in order to see your son.

Good luck with what happens next, and keep us updated.

Take Care

[Alty]

I was hoping that everything would go smoothly for you. I'm so sorry that you've hit this snag.

Remember that having a baby is a very emotional thing for allot of women. Could be that she's suffering from Postpartum depression, or just lack of sleep.

Don't give up, do what you have to do, I can tell how much you love your son, and you have a right to be part of his life.

Good luck.

[snuffy]

Sorry to hear that things didn't stay as happy as they were a few weeks ago bud, but if she is refusing to talk to you then she really didn't leave you a choice. I think she is starting to show her true colors and it is obvious that she isn't willing to discuss it rationally or maturely with you.

As tough as it is, speaking with the lawyer is probably the only way to go about things now, regardless of whether or not she was lying about being advised to avoid contact. That is her decision, so now its your turn to decide if you want to pursue legal action in order to see your son.

Good luck with what happens next, and keep us updated.

Take Care

I've already instructed a lawyer to act.

He has written letter (which may have reached her by now.)

In the letter, the lawyer told me that first-of-all he will ask her what th ebig issue is and that his client (I) have agreed with her offer.

It will also highlight our parental responsibilities and the right of both parents to have a say and a part to play in baby's life; and that this is the baby's right.

LAstly he will ask her to attend mediation (with her own legal representative, if necessary; and with a family member) so that we can discuss these issues in front of a professional.

The good thing about our legal system in the Uk is that the courts are reluctant to accept cases of this nature unless it is satisfied that strenuous attempts have been made to agree, and failed.


Seeing as she offered me so many hours, and I agreed to them, it will be quite interesting, for me, to hear the reasons for her then witholding contact with my child without any good reason.

Like I say it is bizarre and very sad and has me totally bemused.


So, the legal machinations are already in progress. I hope this can be resolved and that I can rely on some sort of certainty and consistency.

Unfortunately for everybody involved, she just cannot manage to be reasonable and civil, and there is no reason at all why it should be this way. I haven't rubbed he rup the wrong way knowingly.

It is going to be case of pick up the child at the door, and nottalk to her.

Again it is sad, strange and bewildering.

I would pay a lot of money to find out exactly what her deal is from day one because it doesn't make sense, and if you think of one rationale or motive for her acting a certain way, then some of her other conduct rules it out and makes it all the more confusing.

Here's hoping for a speedy and amicable resolution.

Snuffy.