Originally Posted by
N0help4u
YES they CAN say you are unfit for letting them go with him.
What all have you done about this so far?
Can you refuse to let them see him?
Do you have a court order that states what/when his visitations are?
Have you gone to CPS/family court and officially voiced your concerns?
If you don't have a court order specifying when visitations are to occur then don't let them see him any more than you have to.
If you do have an order saying every other weekend or whatever, you need to go to family court and tell them your concerns and tell them you don't want it to come back on you in any way, shape or form if anything happens while they are with him because you are following the court order. Document every day, time, person, and what was said and done to prove you have been fighting this. Insist he get drug tested. Keep on them too because if you don't at least check back every now and then with updates and ask things like if there is any progress with helping you find answers, or where can you go from here, or what are your rights in pursuing legally (like can the kids testify what they see and know) and so forth.
They do love it when you can show you were pro active and kept on top of things.
They hate it when they feel you are personally attacking them. I think that is why I couldn't get mine back. I asked too many questions like why are you people allowed to lie in court? And why are you two spending all my visitation time going over notes with each other about another family?
I have done nothing yet. I am in the first stages of leaving him. I have gone to the doctor, was tested for STD's (all good results thank goodness). He has taken $400.00 out of my account as of last Friday. I have 15.00 left in my account and another week to go before I can get another paycheck.
Anyway, back to what I was saying... My doctor did put me on an antidepressant, I hope the courts will not use that against me or else I WILL not take them, even though they are helping me a lot.
I have counseling sessions set up for me and the kids next week (was the earliest I could get in). My babysitter has documented things the kids have said (she will definitely help me out in any way she can)
I have begun counseling and decided to go through that before I actually leave because of this. I have tried to leave him before. He said that I could take him to court (if I can find him. But if he has to pay child support, then he is DEFINITELY going to see his kids. When I brought up the fact about his drug abuse, he threatened to kill me and my family. So I stayed.
I'm getting counseling to see what help they can offer me if I were to testify in court about his drug use. I do not want to lose my children-they are the only reason I am alive. They need me and I have taken care of each of them since they were born.
For now, we are OK, as he is only home ONE day a week, so I feel safe. But I know what he is doing out on the streets and with other people and I want to get away from him completely.
I'm not one of those parents who want to keep the father's kids away from him because I'm pissed off about the way he treats me. I want him to be a part of their lives. But since he is only home one day a week anyway, he obviously does not want to be now. But he will fight me on that once I leave and take them with me. OK Fine. But he needs to get his act together and be right when he is around them.
This is the reason I asked the question.
Again thank you for your replys.