Check out some similar questions!

addica · Nov 11, 2005, 10:33 AM

My step daughters mother is tell her daughter that when she turns 16 (shes 5 now) that she can move in with her ( we have full cousty)... I thought this was up to a judge and not the child... can some one tell me if this is true?.
Katrina

RickJ · Nov 11, 2005, 12:21 PM

I think this would be an issue of the age of consent for the "child", which I will guess is dictated by your State.

Tell me what State you're in and I'll do a little surfing for the answer.

addica · Nov 11, 2005, 01:55 PM

Florida. She lives in Alabama. She currently sees her 2 week-ends a month and on holidays and events like that.

fredg · Nov 12, 2005, 05:56 AM

Hi,
In most states, it's up to the court, but they do listen to the child's wishes, and take them into consideration.
However, if she is only 5, you are going through what many parents go through. My own step-daughter was 5 when my wife and I married (now 28 yrs), after a first marriage. She is 33 yrs old, and has more respect for me than her own Dad, who took my wife to court seeking custody... it was denied.
It will be literally years before your step-daughter has to make this choice, but in my own opinion, if you treat her with respect, love, and show her happiness, she will NOT want to move in with her real mother.
Worrying about the future only promotes more worry. That time is a long time yet to come. Your step-childs Mom is only telling her that either to really try "comforting" her, or is doing it "out of spite".
By the time the child is that old, she probably won't even remember anything about it, and can make up her own mind.

RickJ · Nov 14, 2005, 04:02 AM

I've had no luck confirming the "age of consent" for this type of issue (choosing where you want to live)... but thankfully, her age 16 is many years from now.

I don't see that the judge will come into play unless the she is under the age that any person can go out and, say, get an apartment of their own.

s_cianci · Nov 14, 2005, 07:32 PM

Your step daughter will not have the option of moving in with her mother as long as you have full custody. Of course, a lot can happen in 11 years and the older a child gets the more weight her desires carry in the eyes of a judge. At the age of 5 she is not considered able to make a conscientious decision regarding her needs and desires. Either way, unless the custody order is amended by the court at some point in the future for whatever reason, the living and visitation arrangements will not change from what they are right now.

Fr_Chuck · Nov 14, 2005, 07:53 PM

Just a note and not really good news.

At 16 even if it is not "legal" ain't no one going to go get her and make her come back. If she just leaves and goes there, you will have to sue in their state to force her to return.

Believe me some states will not even honor child custody paper work from other states when kids are 5. You would still have to take your paperwork from your state and go to a hearing. Believe me I have been there.

In Alabama a 16 is normally age and in GA 17, I had those issue with my kids some years ago and was not happy about that either.

But the main thing is it is many years, hopefully she will not want to move after she has lived with you all those years, also will have all her friends, her school and more where you live.

My 15 year old decided he was moving to live with his grandma, ( she caused the issues) and basically he just left and went up there.
Police would not pick him up and bring him back, And the court in that state merely asked him where he wanted to live and told me there was no case.

But in 12 years, there could be totally new laws, who knows.