[51days]

My parents brok up over 2 years ago I also lost my girlfriend around the same time the whole situation put me on a path of self destruction and hate. I took all my anger out on my dad I wouldn't talk to him I ignored him completely I hated him. I herd him break up with my mom. And that's why. I latter about a year ago after they finally moved away that my mom cheated on my dad when I was about 11 years old and didn't admit to it until after my dad left her, he told me that this had drove him crazy for 7 years and that he had to and he then apoligised to me. I felt totally horible about what I did to him and haven't been able to really have any kind of relationship with him sense and things have been totally off. I was going back and forth between my mom and my dads house for a while but it became too much. So I eventuly moved in with my mom. Now things arnt going so well I kind of disappeared off my dads radar for a long time, I've been visiting him a lot more lately. But now I'm prety shur I'm going to get kicked out and I don't know what to do I don't want him to think I'm using him. Truth is I know id be happier at my dads to some extent. But I'm scared I have depression and I don't have a place there where I can be alone not to mention know one knows where he lives and I'm afraid I'm going to end up not being as close to a lot of my friends. It feels so different at my dads house and I'm afraid I won't feel welcome I don't really deserve him after what I did and I don't know what to do I figure I should apoligize but I don't even know how to ask if I can stay with him I'm 20 years old and I feel like I'm 16 I have some serios block in my mind making it almost imposible to move forward in life I'm terified of moving out on my own I'm scared of being alone. I don't know I have know real question here but if someone manages to desipher this mess a little input would be nice I knda just needed to talk I feel horible right now my problems seem so insignifacant compaird to what's out there.

And thanks for your time

Matt

[N0help4u]

Get him a card and pour your heart out to him about things that he has done that meant a lot to you. Write something like
Now that I am older I understand that things aren't what they appear to be when you see things as a kid and I realize things from a more mature perspective now and realize you did everything you could for me and I have a deeper appreciation for you now.

Keep your relationship and communication growing and positive. I am sure he will be glad to have his son back.