[guapaestujefa]

Hello and thank you for reading this...

Lately I have been feeling really down. I spend Monday- Friday = 12 hours a day dedicated to work ( I have to take the bus to work). When I get home from work I just sit around because I am so tired from a whole days work to do anything. I also have a long distance relationship with a man I totally love. We had to have long distance because of his schooling. When I was with him I was so happy everyday, everything seemed perfect. Now I feel like I just work. Even when I make plans to go out I don't have much fun because I would rather be at home talking to my long distance boyfriend ( we haven't seen each other since June - I will see him again in January).My boyfriend right now is living a very happy, fulling life ,he is always busy and has his own car. He also has a loving family around everyday which helps him and he has his own room which I don't lately, I have been sleeping in my moms livingroom because she only lives in a 1bedroom apartment. I used to live with my dad but he's an alcoholic so I moved out of there. I feel like I have nothing in my life except my boyfriend, but its so hard to be able to be happy when he is 2000 miles away from me. I was wondering am I falling into the tunnel of depression? Does anyone know if I can be helped? Also I am 18 years old.

Also me and my boyfriend have an awesome relationship full of trust and everything.

[s_cianci]

I don't know if you're actually depressed or just burned-out from overwork. I think you suggested part of the problem in your thread. You ought to endeavor to get involved in some types of activities to occupy yourself when you're not working. Since your boyfriend is so far away and you only get to see him on a limited basis it's imperative that you have other things to do besides just work. Is there any possibility of cutting back your hours? Or maybe finding yourself a more lucrative job? After all, you're working 60 hours a week but can't even afford a car and you're forced to live with your mother so you can't be earning very much. You might even consider relocating to where your boyfriend is or at least considering what opportunities might be available in his area. I think you've fallen into the rut of "all work and no play makes ____ (insert your first name) a dull girl." You're young and free so take advantage of that to explore whatever opportunities may be out there. At the very least, take yourself a vacation, without pay if necessary and go visit your boyfriend.

[guapaestujefa]

I currently live in Canada and my boyfriend lives in Mexico now. We have planned on living together but its going to be 2years and we are saving our money now to be able to afford to. Right now I am learning spanish. So I don't want to cut back hours because then I will have to wait longer to be with him. And I don't have a car because my mom won't drive so I have no one to teach me. And if I'm moving to mexico in 2 years my license here will be pointless

[Wondergirl]

Wouldn't it be good to at least know how to drive and have even gotten a license and practiced by going to the store or the mall or church or wherever? If you wait until you get to Mexico, you will have to take the time to learn. I think Mexican traffic is a lot wilder than Canadian, so having had practice would be a good thing.

What about spending a couple of hours a week volunteering at a hospital or an animal shelter? You will learn new skills there and meet people and do something fun as well as be helpful to society.

[guapaestujefa]

I don't have a car to practise with:(

[Wondergirl]

Certainly there is a way. Canada is not at the end of the world. Is there a relative or friend or neighbor who would lend a car and even teach you? What about a driving school? Have you checked their prices? I'm guessing the cost of lessons and getting your license would be a very wise move financially and socially and maritally and for your personal satisfaction.

[guapaestujefa]

Thank you, but I really don't want to spend money on that, I'd rather save all that money to get a place with my man. I guess I'm just stubborn.

[Wondergirl]

Have you checked prices? Maybe it's not "all that money" like you think it is. Sometimes we have to look past our stubbornness and single-mindedness for today to find the beneficial things for the future.

Your boyfriend is spending money on school, on having a happy life, on his car. Meanwhile, you sit in Canada being stubborn and pinching pennies and being burnt out. I don't understand.

[guapaestujefa]

He doesn't have to pay for anything, his parents pay for it all. The money he works for is money for like goingout or whatever he wants. Otherwise his parents pay for everything!!

[Wondergirl]

So how is this going to work when you move to Mexico?

[guapaestujefa]

He working at his moms business and once he's done his university he's taking over the business. So were saving money now to move in together before he is done university so we can be together sooner.

[peggyhill]

It sounds like you are burnout from working a lot. I get that way sometimes too. Try to make some time to pamper yourself. The next evening you have free, do something just for you. Like, take a hot bath, watch a really funny movie, eat some junk food, talk to your guy on the phone, and just really relax. Try to get out with some friends. I understand that you want to stay in to talk to him, but I'm sure he wants you to have fun too. I bet once you went out with friends you would really enjoy it. If you don't like living at your mom's, maybe you could find someone who wants a roommate. See if a friend wants to get an apartment, or check the classifieds for women looking for roommates. (Just make sure you find out a lot about the person first. Get to know them before you run out and move on in. I once ended up with an aweful roommate by being too eager to move out of my old apartment.) Also, it might help to talk to a counselor. He/she can help you sort out some of the feelings and help you determine if you have depression or are just stressed and tired. I hope this helps!

[Wondergirl]

What is his mom's business? What role will you play? Will you go to school or work? Will the two of you get married?

[guapaestujefa]

I am doing a lot of little things but I can never just be happy, I always have to spend money to be happy. I can't just be happy with my life.

[Wondergirl]

What is his mom's business? What role will you play? Will you go to school or work? Will the two of you get married?

How is your need to spend money to be happy going to work with your boyfriend and his business efforts? Is your spending lots of money to be happy OK with him?

[guapaestujefa]

His moms owns a lot of halls and she runs events in all of them. He's taking over the whole business. I'm doing some school now, I'm almost done. My boyfriend says his culture(mexican) the women rarely works (besides his mom works alot) and the man takes care of everything, if the women wants to work its to get her nails done or hair. I don't like this idea so he said I can get in on doing the decoration for the events, that's the course I am taking right now also. We have talked a lot of marriage and we have plans but he wants to wait a few more years because he wants a huge big wedding and we can't afford that yet.

[Wondergirl]

How did you meet? Where were you when you were together?

[guapaestujefa]

We met in Canada he came here to canada to learn english ( we met at school) I also went to meet his family and friends in mexico for a month and half in May/June.

[Wondergirl]

May I ask, what part of Canada do you live in? (I'm from New York State, so am very familiar with Ontario, for instance.)

[guapaestujefa]

It's a small town by Toronto. He was just in New York 3years ago but I wasn't able to see him because he was busy with school stuff all week :(!