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little firefly · Nov 1, 2007, 02:44 PM

The only comfort I get from that is knowing this girl is such a low life piece of crap with so much baggage and drama in her life she is soon going to make his life a living hell.

I can relate Missinghim2much. My ex is now with his best female friend, so when he and I were together I got to know her pretty good. She does things that are pretty questionable which makes me wonder why my ex, who is pretty devout in his faith and has a 5 year old son, would even want to have a relationship with her.

A girl friend of mine ran into my ex and his girl about a week ago. She didn't realize that she had gone to school with her and so she called me asking why he would want to be with her because she had always been such a loser. I told her that that would be something that my ex would have to figure, out and when he does he need not call me. He filled his pig sty with mud, now let him wallow in it!. I'm not bitter, just brutally honest. :)

Chery · Nov 1, 2007, 03:25 PM

Hey there missing...

At least you get a break now and then. I live downstairs from mine. When he found out I have cancer, he changed the lock to his door so that I cannot even get my stuff out - I'll worry about that later though, and will get it eventually. I'm not as hurt as you were because he was such an a-hole that I'm actually glad that he 'dumped' me

He purposely walks by my window near the backyard, sits on the picnic table near the fishpond every day, and I also hear him walk around upstairs, so there is no way I can 'forget' him. But now I'm so busy planning the life I have left, playing music he never liked and turning up the volume so that he no longer stays outside too long - that's my little way of getting revenge and enjoying music I neglected while I was with him. I also know it bothers him that his son and I get along, our neighbors visit me more than they did before now, so he is lonelier than I am. I even hum some tunes when I take the trash out just to show him that he does not bother me and that gets him even more upset.

I also have comfort in knowing that he will wind up on dialysis because I maintained his diet, nursed him and made sure he kept his blood pressure down. Also know he has no new 'bed bunny' or anyone else to cook for him. His son (my ex-son-in-law - long story) still goes out with me and my daughter and grandson. We go to parks and fast-food places and don't invite dumbhead to go along. I rent my place from son-in-law and my ex actually wanted him to give me notice to move.. but I'm still here. The way I see it is that it's his LOSS, not mine, and you will soon see it that way too, no matter how many 'ladies' he goes with - he will NEVER forget you and that can comfort you also. You are special, he's nothing.

Invite a new friend to cook with you, try out some new menus and make new memories, it's never too late to get a taste for something else and soon that old stuff will be very stale - literally.
Give the place a new paintjob, buy new bathroom mats, change soaps and rearrange the bedroom.

Keep up living your life to the fullest and you'll have new memories before you know it and he'll be a creep from the past, and we all have them.

All the best hon... things will get better, I promise.

So, you see, whether we are female or male, survival first, advancement second, and a new life on it's way!

Chery · Nov 1, 2007, 03:33 PM

Originally Posted by Diamondstar03

I guess I am not as well off as I thought I was. From my thread got a text sos, I have fallen back into complete chaos. I am a basketcase. Man I wish I would have not fallen so hard for this girl. I am in such misery!!!!! Can't seem to get myself back together. She is being soo cruel and hurtful.

We've all been through cruelty, hurtful and even hatefulness, but I promise it will get better. Write a diary and re-read some of the threads here and you'll see that the changes you are going through right now will make you stronger. Five years from now, you'll be so indifferent because your life will be so much more balanced and you'll seek new adventures.

Lots of luck, and many hugs.

Fixer12 · Nov 1, 2007, 05:14 PM

Things have been going pretty well for me. It has been about... 2 1/2 months since break up. We unfortunitly started contacting again last week. That was probably one of the dumber things I could do. It took me down for about 2-3 days just cause she was trying to convience me she loved me, only she just wanted someone to talk to too. Things will get better. I have made awesome new friends, and have been meeting new people.

Unfortunitly I have still been having the same probel of compairing new girls to her. Which is something I need to get over and fast. I am picking myself back up. Thankfully I will not be going back to my hometown until around christmas time. I see that as more of a blessing now.

She changed a lot got lip pierced and started being "emo" when she was really "preppy/pink" type. Kind of a big turn off for me, but w/e. She had broken up with her last boyfriend "for me" but then they got back together a week later. All in what I figured would happen.

I am praying that the day where I find someone 10x better and new will come, and all the pain will be in the past forever!

MissingHim2Much · Nov 1, 2007, 11:52 PM

Originally Posted by Chery

Hey there missing...

At least you get a break now and then. I live downstairs from mine. When he found out I have cancer, he changed the lock to his door so that I cannot even get my stuff out - I'll worry about that later though, and will get it eventually. I'm not as hurt as you were because he was such an a-hole that I'm actually glad that he 'dumped' me

He purposely walks by my window near the backyard, sits on the picnic table near the fishpond every day, and I also hear him walk around upstairs, so there is no way I can 'forget' him. But now I'm so busy planning the life I have left, playing music he never liked and turning up the volume so that he no longer stays outside too long - that's my little way of getting revenge and enjoying music I neglected while I was with him. I also know it bothers him that his son and I get along, our neighbors visit me more than they did before now, so he is lonelier than I am. I even hum some tunes when I take the trash out just to show him that he does not bother me and that gets him even more upset.

I also have comfort in knowing that he will wind up on dialysis because I maintained his diet, nursed him and made sure he kept his blood pressure down. Also know he has no new 'bed bunny' or anyone else to cook for him. His son (my ex-son-in-law - long story) still goes out with me and my daughter and grandson. We go to parks and fast-food places and don't invite dumbhead to go along. I rent my place from son-in-law and my ex actually wanted him to give me notice to move.. but I'm still here. The way I see it is that it's his LOSS, not mine, and you will soon see it that way too, no matter how many 'ladies' he goes with - he will NEVER forget you and that can comfort you also. You are special, he's nothing.

Invite a new friend to cook with you, try out some new menus and make new memories, it's never too late to get a taste for something else and soon that old stuff will be very stale - literally.
Give the place a new paintjob, buy new bathroom mats, change soaps and rearrange the bedroom.

Keep up living your life to the fullest and you'll have new memories before you know it and he'll be a creep from the past, and we all have them.

All the best hon... things will get better, I promise.

So, you see, whether we are female or male, survival first, advancement second, and a new life on it's way!

Hi Chery,

Geeez he does sound like an a-hole. I almost wish sometimes mine had been, it would be easier I think. He was really good to me so that makes me miss him all that much more. I guess what he's done since the breakup could be considered an a-hole thing to do but all I can remember is how good he treated me and how much fun we had together, even after all those years together. I think the thing that probably breaks my heart the most is thinking that he has forgotten all we shared and all we meant to each other for so long. We accumulated a lot of stuff in 7 yrs and he left it all. Stereos, Video games, furniture, camping gear, fishing gear and he left it all.

A friend of mine works at McDonalds and he said he saw my ex and his new ready made family there. His girlfriend and her 4 children under the ages of 7. She only has custody of 2 so she must have had the other 2 for Halloween. And of course she's pregnant with twins, ( may or may not be his ) so they are going to have 6 kids here soon. Lots of his friends and some of my family think he's going to try and take these twins if they turn out to be his and bring them back for me to raise. He better hope that's not what he's planning. He'd have to be f'd up to think I'm going to raise this crazy ho's babies.

Anyway Chery thanks for the words of encouragment. I need every bit of positive support I can get. And please take care of yourself and don't let that fool upstairs get you down.

SAB123 · Nov 3, 2007, 02:42 PM

It's been about 9 months since my ex fiancé broke up with me again.Although I stll think of her sometimes. I am so much better now then 3 months ago. Time does heal the pain of a break up.

madaman · Nov 4, 2007, 08:47 AM

I have been seeing this one girl on and off for almost the last month, and its made me realize that I truly am not over my ex. It sucks a lot right now, but I actually want to be alone for a while it looks like.

And for no apparent reason the dreams about the ex have returned this last week, which REALLY sucks. Sleep is supposed to be the one part of the day where my brain doesn't think about her!

rol · Nov 5, 2007, 07:10 AM

Mine was a year ago, now I feel totally healed and have began to date again. Ive met a very nice guy and we are taking things slow.

It takes time , but allow yourself to feel through all the emotions.

Time really helps..

Everything happens for a reason.

Kia · Nov 5, 2007, 10:47 AM

I guess I am still in my healing processs like most of everyone else here. I am a little upset at myself for still thinking about him so much. I even have thoughts of how he had sex w/me and what he may be doing with someone else, and it can get pretty torturous.

I have to admit, and I may sound biased by this, but I am kind of fighting the feeling of hating men sometimes. I love them, but I hate them at the same time. It happens when I recall or experience situations where I'm approached by someone I know isn't interested in me seroiusly, and their trying to slick talk, or invite me to come over and drink with them, or something along those lines. I mean its nice to be invited in a way, but I know their intentions and it starts to piss me off in my head.
I guess I think about my ex, and how I was vulnerable and got tricked by his repeated requests for my company, like he cared about me to some degree, when he just wanted to "get some" and have company for a little while. Men know how women are, and I think its very mean and deceptive to pursue and continue sleeping with a woman when you know that you have no good intentions for her.

Anyway, that's just a little of what I'm battling at the moment; part of my healing I guess...

Diamondstar03 · Nov 5, 2007, 02:54 PM

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I guess I am still in my healing processs like most of everyone else here. I am a little upset at myself for still thinking about him so much. I even have thoughts of how he had sex w/me and what he may be doing with someone else, and it can get pretty torturous.

I have to admit, and I may sound biased by this, but I am kind of fighting the feeling of hating men sometimes. I love them, but I hate them at the same time. It happens when I recall or experience situations where I'm approached by someone I know isn't interested in me seroiusly, and their trying to slick talk, or invite me to come over and drink with them, or something along those lines. I mean its nice to be invited in a way, but I know their intentions and it starts to piss me off in my head.
I guess I think about my ex, and how I was vulnerable and got tricked by his repeated requests for my company, like he cared about me to some degree, when he just wanted to "get some" and have company for a little while. Men know how women are, and I think its very mean and deceptive to pursue and continue sleeping with a woman when you know that you have no good intentions for her.

Anyway, that's just a little of what I'm battling at the moment; part of my healing I guess...

Hey Kia, I know how you feel. I also think about how she had sex with me and how she can be doing whatever she is doing now. It drives me up the wall!! I feel like such a doormat. However I don't agree with your putting all men into that boat. We are all not like that, I do know that most guys are, but not all of us. I could say that about women as well, she pulled a big fast one on me and it broke my heart. Seems both male and female's are equal able to be hated. I am doing my best to not think of it anymore, but yes it still hurts. I just wish I had not fallen so hard for her. I feel like such a sap now since I am the one still in love with her and she dropped me like I was nothing. Just hurts, I hope you are able to feel better, as I hope we all are.

kuulski · Nov 5, 2007, 03:01 PM

It will be 3 months of NC for me in a week or so. Every day I think of her less and less. I still miss her though and wonder what is going on with her and hope she is doing well. I still can't say I wouldn't try to work it out with her eventually but right now I am in no place to be with someone. I miss her though...

Love u Ki

:>)

Unconditional85 · Nov 6, 2007, 07:23 AM

Am in the same boat as all of you its been a month and a half for me.. I still miss her a lot there is not one minute that passes by where I don't think about her... she broke up with me after datin for four years over nothing just said she was not feeling me anymore and that I was making her happy.. that really hurt because I felt I was giving her my I spend every spare time I had with her, helped her in anyway and always supported her with her decisions.. yet this was not enough... know I hear from my mother who has seen her walking around with another guy huggin each other.. and that just kills me to know that she is moving on so quick as if a 4yr of relationship was nothing to her.. I haven't contact her in 2 weeks last time I did was out of anger of hearing she was already datin.. I feel so stupid for having done that..
I find some peace in reading other ppls similar issues lets me know am not alone in my feelings yet I wish none of us was going through it...

chris08 · Nov 6, 2007, 08:46 AM

The best of it is, we are all here crying our hearts out and one day we will all be married with a family and all happy. (talking mostly to the younger people, but you know what I mean) I too miss my ex, but what can you do? Spend every day crushed with self pity? We are all better than that, there is that special someone out there for all of us. Don't forget that.

madaman · Nov 6, 2007, 09:38 AM

Personally I'm starting to get worried, as I feel like I've reached a wall in the healing. It really bugs me because I know she is gone forever, and if I could just move on that would be great. Im worried that I might be slipping into a depression (I was on some prescription for it years and years ago) and I really don't want to get stuck in a rut.

This sucks!

kuulski · Nov 6, 2007, 09:41 AM

Originally Posted by madaman

Personally im starting to get worried, as I feel like ive reached a wall in the healing. It really bugs me because I know she is gone forever, and if I could just move on that would be great. Im worried that I might be slipping into a depression (I was on some prescription for it years and years ago) and I really dont want to get stuck in a rut.

this sucks!

I have battled depression all my life and to be honest just recently after seeing a

Therapist did I realize what was causing my grief. #1 stop beating yourself up for mistakes.

That is HUGE! We all make mistakes and it is all normal. That and also doing some

Exercise have helped me sooo much! Keep focused and don't forget to be a little bit easier

On yourself. That helped me allot! GOOD LUCK!

chris08 · Nov 6, 2007, 09:44 AM

madaman, are you going to want to stay in this rut forever? No you don't. What things do you do in your spare time? Have you got many mates? Do you go out much? You don't need prescriptions, your better than that. You need to make the most of your life, stop getting slumped in the dumps, trust me you will meet someone else, someone better and someone who deserves you. I know I will, and I know everyone else here will too.

madaman · Nov 6, 2007, 09:48 AM

My family has a history of depression, but I will never go back on any prescriptions for it, so that's not a worry of mine. I have a fair amount of friends and I go out somewhere every 2nd or 3rd night right now (concerts etc). Since the breakup I have been going through up and down phases, but this down phase as of late has not changed one bit. Ive already met a couple other girls but it was way too soon and I had to stop seeing them which sucked.

kuulski · Nov 6, 2007, 10:10 AM

Originally Posted by madaman

My family has a history of depression, but I will never go back on any prescriptions for it, so thats not a worry of mine. I have a fair amount of friends and I go out somewhere every 2nd or 3rd night right now (concerts etc). Since the breakup I have been going through up and down phases, but this down phase as of late has not changed one bit. Ive already met a couple other girls but it was way too soon and I had to stop seeing them which sucked.

Yea I tried to see girls right away also but I just couldn't even be around them.

Good Luck! If you need to chat drop me a message.

Keep pushing!

chris08 · Nov 7, 2007, 05:54 AM

Yeah same as. I am going through the same thing, I can go out with my friends and have a good laugh and they are all there for me, they even talk to me about how to get over my ex. How it's her loss etc etc. I also have up and down phases, one minute I'm fine and then the next I see something or am somewhere which reminds me of me and my ex, if you know what I mean. And it hits me for a couple of minutes. It will take time, so lets just keep our heads up.

little firefly · Nov 9, 2007, 05:05 AM

I hit a really big wall last night as far as trying to heal myself. I went to the movies with my sister and as we were walking in I saw my ex boyfriend at the snack counter. He was with his girlfriend, his 5 year old son and her six year old daughter. My ex and his girl had their arms around each other and they looked like a little family. The pain I felt was indescribable. He and I used to go to the movies like that with his son and my 5 year old nephew. We used to do so many things like that together and we felt like we were a family. He looked so happy to be with her the way that he always seemed to be with me. I haven't slept all night. It's been over six months now. When is the hurt supposed to stop. I don't know how much more of it I can take.