[rempires]

so my question is about a conv. Me and I guess know my ex had about 6-days ago, a conversation I knew was coming but was dreading at the same time, I had dated her for 8months (well the next day after this conv. Would have been 8 months, I'm a senior in high school btw) A little back ground might help this, the girl I was dating (still sounds weird, but I've had previous girlfriends and know this pain goes away), anyway the girl I was dating is one of those really really loud outgoing people, almost a complete opposite of me, I don't have very many friends, not because I'm mean or anything, but because I'm shy and have trouble starting conversations with people around me. The friends I do have are all outgoing people. I met this girl my freshman year and went to the movies with her and some friends, but nothing ever became of it, mainly because I was to shy and stuff still. I ended up dating someone else for 9months my sophomore year and forgetting about her pretty much. Then my junior year rolled around and her and me were still friendly and she asked me to winter formal, I finally got up the curage the day after formal and asked her out on a date, we hit it off pretty good, and about 1-2weeks later I asked her to go steady. We dated and hung out a lot, A LOT for about 5 months, then I did something really stupid I regret (not involving her, involving some of my friends) anyway the result was some pretty po'd parents and some major grounding 7 days before my 18 b-day. Well we pretty much stopped being able to see each other, I called and stuff and we hung out a few more times after that but then guard started (she's in it) and all that and she had guard tues-sat(5-8 usually on weekdays, 8am-1am sats[competitions]) and she worked 3-7 on Sundays and Mondays she worked not sure what time. So we were never able to hang out. During the last 2 months we pretty much never saw each other , I tried but she always seemed to be busy, and I guess I started to give up, we rarely talked and never hung out in person anymore which saddened me, anyway I guess I knew the following conversation was coming but I can't exactly figure out what it means, I hope the background can help someone understand it.


Session Start (XXXXX:XXXXXX): Thu Oct 18 19:34:03 2007
[19:36] Me: heya there
[19:37] her: hey
[19:37] her: so I was thinking mabye we should like take a break for a while and be friends for a while until we have more free time or something
[19:37] her: because frankly ithis is a bit ridiculus because we never have time to even talk any more let alone hang out
[19:37] me: I figured that one was coming, that's cool
[19:37] me: I know
[19:38] her: you
[19:38] her: we can always see what ends up happening
[19:38] me: haha, lol, sounds cool
[19:38] me: I do have a q though?
[19:38] me: how come when you drive you put your phone to your chin
^^
from here on I just try to play the conversation off as a normal friends conversation until she signed off.


I guess my questions are from this:
1. is this actually a break or is this a lets break up and date other people, I know she know considers us single on my space so I'm guessing it's a break up date others.

2.when we have more free time is there actually a chance we could get back together or is this since we never hang out she found someone else she can hang out with she likes(maybe someone who'd in some of her classes or works with)

3.if this isn't a finished were through, what exactly should I do to be able to still have a chance in the future

4. is this is a full break up, the friend thing, I've only had one previous relationship and it ended very badly with her cheating on me my sophomore year, I would like to remain this girls friend, but I don't know how it would work. The only mutual friends we have are a couple, so if we were to hang out it would probably be with them, would it be weird for her since it's mainly who we used to double date with, would it be weird to just hang out with her as friends?

thanks in advance everyone who took the time to read this, I hope you can provide me with some incite as I really did/do like this girl, and being a senior and shy if I can't get her back I think I'm just going to wait until college before dating anyone again(my goal in college is to force myself to be outgoing), but then I'll miss out on formal and prom, but being so shy I don't ever talk to girls really, just her and a very very close friend(the one we used to double date with), who's going with her boyfriend guaranteed.

*btw, this place needs a question mark icon for the psot, for the confused people :)

[snuffy]

Go out and date other women and see if she changes how she feels.

I wouldn't say this one is totally over, or rather I wouldn't say that the relationship won't get back again.

And for goodness sakes find lots of other interests and get busy. Make yourself less available to her, and do not get in touch with her for a while.

Give her the gift of missing you.

[Jiser]

Lol give the b*tch what she wants. She doesn't want you anymore or is confused. Therefore you have no chance with any grumbling, depressing, moaning, or chasing.

The best thing you can do is, "Hey ok thats fine. See ya when i see you!"

No contact, work on yourself, get your down the gym and looking good, go out on the town with the lads, go and have some fun! Sorry to be so blunt but grow some balls and realise there are more fishy in the sea. In fact it might even do you some good to be single for a while.

I for one needed so many reality checks and grow some ball moments. Finally it clicked. Make it click for u.

[RustyFairmount]

"Let's take a break," is girl-code for "I'm not interested in dating you any more. I am not your girlfriend. Move on." The phrase is used when the girl is either:

Ashamed of admitting that she's leaving yet another failed relationship.
...or...
Arrogant enough to believe that you aren't capable of dealing with a break-up maturely.

Love conquers all and takes breaks for nothing, ever. She may be a great gal in other respects. But as a girlfriend, she's a loser. She's lost you. Some other woman is going to meet you someday and never want to let you go.

[snowrider]

Seriously, they've all got it right. She's not into you right now. You're teenagers, you know? Get over it, and go out with somebody else.

There's no point in wasting your time on this girl when you could be using that time to spend with someone who is truly interested in you.

Get out there and go meet some new chicks, and have fun - YOU'RE YOUNG! :-)

[needofhelp]

They all have a point. Don't read too much into it because you don't know what her true feelings are or what she is trying to say. You can come up with many reasons or interpretations. Just take away that she doesn't want to be with you for what ever reason. You are a young guy, enjoy those times and a lot to experience.

[rempires]

Thanks for the advice all, I guess I was sjut hoping differently because of how much I like/liked her, BTU I guess I will have to move forward and on. But could someone answer my question about being friends then, is it a good idea? Or do you think my emotions would get attached, lets say I wait until all the feelings have left me, amybe in a few months, would beign friends with her then be okay, or do you think ti would be to akward?

[needofhelp]

That's going to depend if it will be awkward for you. You're asking if it would, after all of your feelings for her have left you, so if that's the case, why would it be. You would have no feelings right?

Don't get too far ahead of yourself about being friends. You may decide you don't want to be her friend. Stay strong, move one and focus on yourself. Do the NC thing, and you will get better.