[cal823]

Okay... ummmm I have a dilema
I recently took 25 panadol tablets
I've been sick from it, and my mum thinks I mite have anemia or something because I've been sick quite a bit from it (she doesn't know I took the tablets)
So she's made a doctors apointement so I can get a blood test to see if I'm anemic and stuff
Is there a risk of the fact I took lots of panadol being detected in the blood test?

[cal823]

Please help... someone...

[J_9]

Bad kid. This stuff can kill you. Basically you overdosed on acetaminophen (here in the states it is known as Tylenol). Referring to one of your other posts, was this intentional?

If the doctor orders a tox screen, yes it will come back positive.

[cal823]

The panadol was intentional. And I know it can kill me, that was kind of the point.

I had the blood test yesterday, my mums a nurse and from looking at the form the test will be a full blood count testing kidneys, liver, haemoglobin. Will that show it up?

[J_9]

Cal, why are you trying to kill yourself? Times may be bad now, but they do get better. Being a teen is a terrible time of life and no one should have to go through that, but we all do in one way or another.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

To answer your question it very well may show up. I wish I knew your Mum, I would talk to her for you. You are crying out for help, and one day that cry just may be silent. This is not a good way to go.

[firmbeliever]

Cal,
J is right!

You should seek help.
From a professional counselor if possible.

EDIT::::
I was just wondering, why are you scared of the results of a blood test.
You made a choice to take medication and overdose.

Cal,
We hear your call for help,but unless those near you and who love you know about what is happening or why it is happening,they will not be able to help you.

Overdosing on something is not going to stop the hurting, even worse you might be destroying your physical self before you reach adulthood.Destroying your body is only going to make it worse,not better.

[J_9]

Overdosing on something is not going to stop the hurting, even worse you might be destroying your physical self before you reach adulthood.Destroying your body is only going to make it worse,not better.

Firmy is absolutely right here. What you took does severe liver damage if it does not kill you first. It is absorbed and excreted through your liver. So, while you may feel better now, your liver has been damaged to some extent. This can cause serious problems in the future.

I see your cry for help, and I wish I could help you more, but that's hard to do from a keyboard/monitor. You need to talk to someone, a professional preferably. If your mother is a nurse, as you say, she will have a ton of resources to get you the help you need. I have the resources, but only here in the states, so I can't be too much help to you other than being here when you need me.

So, tell me, what is so bad that you feel you need to kill yourself? What is so bad that CAN'T be fixed or changed?

[cal823]

Ummmm... its complicated and I dun want to go into much detail rite now... sorry J_9 but I'm not yet comfortable opening up to you I'm sorry :(

[J_9]

That's okay Cal, it takes time to build trust. But if I find that you don't come on here for a few days, I'll have to get a plane ticket and come beat your arse!! LOL

On the bright side... There is nothing in life that is worth taking a life. There is nothing that can't be fixed or changed. It may seem like the world is closing in, but there is always a solution. Sometimes that solution is hidden somewhere deep inside, but it is there.

I have an uncle that committed suicide 3 years ago, so I know how it can damage the family after you are gone. Suicide is a very selfish act in that while you think your pain is over, you have created a whole other level of pain for very many people. And that pain NEVER goes away.

[cal823]

Thank you J_9... maybe ill talk about this with you tomorrow...

[J_9]

Whenever you are ready to talk just know that I will listen. I may be away in class or in the hospital doing my rotations, but I will answer eventually. As I said, it takes time to build trust, and I have time.

Just so you know, I have family members who suffer clinical depression, I am specializing in the mental health field of nursing, and I, myself, have suffered situational depression, and I am a surviving member of a family member who committed suicide. So, I do have a little background in this.

So, just know that I am ready, willing, and able to talk whenever you are ready.

[jrebel7]

Cal, thought I would answer to this here rather than on the art thread. Most of us have been touched by someone taking their own life. It never goes away. If a person, at that point, would wait three minutes, I believe they generally would not commit the act of suicide. Life gets difficult sometimes but life is precious. Your life is precious. The two people in my life that have taken their lives were sensitive caring people who were easily hurt in life. I believe you are stronger than you know inside. Please do get some kind of help Cal! A person tends to get tunnel vision when going through a time of feeling suicidal and doesn't think about the pain their act would cause so many people. Think how many peoples lives you have touched and will touch throughout your life time with your art, your poetry. You have so much to offer life, so much to give to others. If you get to a place of darkness again, please reach out for help. We all need help from time to time! A lot of people care about you Cal.

[firmbeliever]

Cal,
Today when I checked my email, I found a forwarded message about life and how we count our age.Among other things in it I found the following and thought of you...

The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

Cherish your health : If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

[Clough]

So, what's going on in your thoughts, Cal? We are concerned for you! I hope and pray that you will find someone to talk to face-to-face about what is going on. When I was your age, I felt a number of times about just "ending it." Nearly half a century later, I'm still here, still have stresses with which to deal and hardships to bear. But, I know that I'm going to make it! You can and will, too! :)

[cal823]

I don't know... I just don't feel like I'm cut out for life... I don't really feel like I am capable of doing well of succeeding or even passing school, I feel so unworthy of the people I know and I just can't imagine how anyone could love me... and I'm not sure if all the stuff I've been through and am going to go through throughout my life and all these horrible feelings are worth it because even though I love someone and she loves me I feel that she deserves so much better than a failure like me and yer... if I can't even handle that stuff, how am I going to handle the big trials in life?

[Clough]

I'm here right now, Cal. Just noticed your post.

Hi!

[Clough]

The "Artist" post is going to take some catching up on. I'm sure that you will just chime in when you are ready. We just sort of fly on that one, you know? We go round and round and somehow, it all works out.

So, you have mentioned a number of things that are happening in your thoughts. What's the main one thing that might be of the most concern to you right now, please?

[J_9]

Oh, sweetie, these are all feelings we ALL go through in life.

I don't really feel like I am capable of doing well of succeeding or even passing school,

Oh, how I know this feeling all too well. I have to get an 80% on all of my tests in school or I get kicked out of nursing school. Well, on test #2 of the semester I got a 78%. But you know what? I did the best I could do, and that is all I can do, but they still let me go on. If you study, and do your best, you can't do any better than that.

Now, tell me some good things about you. I hear you are good at poetry. Am I right? What else are you good at?

I feel so unworthy of the people I know

Forget about them, do you feel unworthy to YOU? You are the one who is important. Many of these people you may never see again in your life after school. They may not remember you, you may not remember them. I know I don't remember 90% of the people I graduated with.

I love someone and she loves me

Is this the same person in your other thread? The one who attempted suicide also? Long distance relationship?

Hun, I have felt like you do many times during my life, and I mean many many. I have been given the diagnosis of cancer, told my life would be over in 5 years. That was 10 years ago. You need to look deep inside yourself, and I know it's hard, believe me I do, and find the good qualities, the things you can build on.

You are in a time in your life right now that really sucks to the max, I would not wish it on anyone, but we all go through it. Every single one of us, whether we admit it or not. But you can, and will, get through this. Some of us can do it on our own, while others need help from a professional. There is no shame in that.

Now, tell me, us, something about yourself that you are proud of.

[cal823]

Uuummmmm... I guess I am an okay artist, I occasionally do an artwork that I am proud of, but its not really usually anything particularly amazing
And I do write poetry but I am not really that good at it, same as the art really, just even rarer for me to do great at
And I have been told by my mum that I am a good listener and emphatic...
And I do pretty well in tests/ exams in human bio and art, especially in human bio where I usually get between 70-80% in my tests and in art I once tied at top of the class in one test or exam or sumting with the teachers pet... main prob in school for me is homework and assignements though which drag me down and I'm at risk of failure because of those... :(
I guess that's about it... I know a lot of people who are far better than me at all those things...

[jrebel7]

Cal, sound like you have more going for you than a lot of adults that I know. :) Concentrate on those positives! You have a lot of people pulling for you.