[J_9]

Wow, sounds like you are good at quite a few things. Art? Is that avatar one that you did? Poetry? Did you know that Edgar Allen Poe, one of my fav artists was a depressed person?

Human Bio? Wow, let's talk. What do you like about it? Do you know all about Anatomy & Physiology?

Being a good listener and empathy is very important. Have you considered following in your mother's footsteps as a nurse? You know, where I live male nurses make twice as much as female nurses.

Gawd, I HATE homework. I spent 8 hours in the hospital today and will have about 16 hours of homework. But you know what? It will all be worth it in the end.
He!! I know a lot of people who are better than me, but I can be only as good as I can be. Just like you. Don't compare yourself to others. You have your strengths and your weaknesses. They have their strengths and their weaknesses. Where you are strong, they are weak. Where you are weak, they are strong.

Focus on what you like, what you do well, and strive to do it better. Personally I like to try to prove people wrong (maybe I should be an attorney), but I focus on what I am good at and try to improve where I am weak. But you know what? In the end, we can't all be perfect.

There is no perfect.

[cal823]

I'm not really interested in nursing or medical stuff as a career, basically because I'm a bit on the squemish side, I could never give someone a needle or anything like that, and my mums a registered nurse, and the stress she goes through!
My mum suggested I mite be a good social worker or counselor or something, but I'm not sure I would be good at it, if I can't resolve my own issues how can I help others?
In human bio I was quite good at learning stuff like the bones, organs, primates, but not as good at the microscopic level/tissues etc and I hate microscopes :s

[Clough]

Cal, do you feel depressed? Or, are you just confused about the directions that you need to take? Maybe you just need someone to talk to.

You might not really be depressed in the clinical sense. That is only a guess by me. No one here can really diagnose you without meeting with you and performing certain tests on you to determine what is going on psychologically with you.

Would you mind telling me something about the girl with whom you are in love, please?

[jrebel7]

Cal, before I head for bed, let me say one more thing. I think Craig has great insight and maybe you are just confused about the direction for your life. Perhaps you are expecting too much from yourself too fast. You have many talents and gifts. Just day by day, see which direction you feel led to go. With that I will bid you a good night! See you on the thread tomorrow! Sweet dreams! :)

[Clough]

Cal, before I head for bed, let me say one more thing. I think Craig has great insight and maybe you are just confused about the direction for your life. Perhaps you are expecting too much from your self too fast. You have many talents and gifts. Just day by day, see which direction you feel led to go. With that I will bid you a good night! See you on the thread tomorrow! Sweet dreams! :)

I tried to spread the love some more Jan, but could not. I just wanted to say that what you said was really sweet! :)

[cal823]

Thank you everyone for understanding and your advice and stuff, you are great people.
Cya all later going to log now

[Clough]

Are you okay for now, Cal? I would appreciate knowing that before we leave here. Thank you!

[grammadidi]

Cal, I am so sorry that you have been struggling and even sorrier that I wasn't here to try to help. It sounds like you have so much going on right now and I hope that I haven't added to those feelings by anything I have said. If so, please accept my sincere and heartfelt apology.

I would like to address this issue, but I am not sure you want it addressed any further at this time. If not, please don't read any further, okay? I'm serious!

Cal, you are a very deep and sensitive person. You feel things on a different level than most - I get a very keen sense of that. This trait can be a wonderful tool, because it helps you to be able to empathize and relate well to others, express yourself better than others in an artistic sense and gives you a tremendous amount of insight into the problems of others. Unfortunately, it can also be a weight on your shoulders for a number of other reasons. The key is to try to downplay the negatives and to focus on the wonderful things you are able to do.

Cal, I have read many posts that you have made to others. You do have the skills to become a great therapist! As you become older, you will learn that those who teach best are those who often have experienced more in life. You can draw from your experiences and problems and help others. Some of the best professor's in school are those who did NOT have the best marks - but instead, those who can reach out and touch others. Usually the reason that they are able to do this is because they are compassionate, sensitive, deep, caring, insightful people.

I remember a situation many years ago in which I sought therapy from a psychiatrist. I learned that she, too, had weekly psychiatric appointments. At first, I was shocked, but she taught me that it was because she had (and was working on) her own issues that she was able to be good at what she did.

I have felt much pain in my life, especially when my husband died. I wanted to die too. I felt that I had so little to live for. However, I had a responsibility to my then nearly 12 year old adopted daughter. She was already hurting so bad that she had been abused and neglected the first 4 years of her life by her birth parents. Then my husband's death devastated her. How could I add to her distress? So, I decided that I would wait until she had grown up, while pretending to be happy and strong in order to help her through it. Strangely enough, I became happy by doing the things that helped her to believe that I was!

I know that all the experiences that I have had in life have had a huge impact upon my ability to help others. Some people would say I have had a horrendous life filled with pain, deceit, sadness and horrible experiences. I, however, look upon my life as a gift. I refuse to let the sad/bad things in it bring me down! I struggle to find what possible good can come of my experiences - how I can turn them around to help someone else, or what it is that I am to learn from them. Maybe it would help if you attempted to do the same.

Craig (Clough) has said that he believes that people come into your life for a reason - “Birds of a feather, flock together”. I believe that. I know that you have touched me like few people have. I don't know why, or even how, I just felt that you are an important person in my life, and possibly, me in yours. I know your words have touched me at times, your art at other times. Without trying to sound real weird, I feel I have experienced your intensity from the inside out, and I know there are great things waiting for you in the future.

Jan has said on this thread that many of our lives have been touched by suicide and she's right. When I was young, I tried to kill myself because I didn't feel like I could measure up to other people's expectations of me – or my own! I also dated a young man who killed himself because he couldn't deal with my desire to not tie myself down at a young age. Later in life, my own mother attempted (and had to be brought back to life the second time) suicide when her marriage to my father broke down after 37 years. The impact of those attempts, continue to very deeply touch those of us who are closest to her, even 16 years later.

When I met my husband he used to tell me that he did not want to live to be old. However, when he found out that he was dying at 52 years of age, he was distraught! His death was a horrible and painful one, but he fought it every moment of every day for five long months. A cousin of mine killed himself the same year that my husband found out he was dying. His family have never come to terms with it, to this day. It destroys the hearts and souls of those left behind – both friends and family. I urge you not to attempt this again. There are so many resources available to you if you are feeling this way and if you need to know what or where they are, just ask!

Cal, I urge you to talk to your mom about this. I don't know how old you are, but I do know that many young people go through similar experiences to what you have described. There are many adults who struggle with it, too. There is help out there, though, if you want it. I also urge you to surround yourself with positive people, rather than negative ones which I know can be very difficult when you are in school. Once of my granddaughters went through a very bad time at school where she was being relentlessly bullied. She began to believe all the things that people said to her, and she became quite depressed and suicidal. She had very few friends, but when she did spend time with other kids, she tended to hang around with people who were also depressed and expressed deep, and often suicidal, thoughts. She attempted suicide several times before we realized what was happening.

We changed her schools, found her some great supports, taught her to recognize her strengths and helped her to be happy with herself the way she was. Two years later she has won a personal growth award at school and managed to pull off a 90% in her most difficult class! She has a few select friends who build her up because she is worthy of it. She gives to others, gets involved in charitable events that define who she is, works hard to do her best, accepts her weaknesses and fills our lives with joy.

I know this has dragged on and become a very long post and I have so much more to say… maybe another time. The main thing I want you to know is that you truly have touched my heart and soul, and my life would not be as meaningful without you in it. I know there are others here who feel the same way. Please get help for that which is hurting you so bad, continue to reach out to others and learn to appreciate yourself for who and what you are.

I care, Cal – I truly do. If there is anything that I can do to help, please let me know.

Love & hugs,
Didi

[jrebel7]

Cal, I just read Didi's post to you! I was going to go to bed earlier on tonight, but came in to check posts one more time. Maybe I needed to read what Didi wrote to you for myself also. God works in mysterious ways, His wonders to perform. I have never been a joiner but so glad I am a part of this wonderful tapestry that is being created by the love and understanding and caring of so many people. I too, am so glad you are now a part of my life! We are here for you as you have been for us in giving so much of yourself in your postings! Continue to share your life, your art, your poetry, your very essence with us! Don't feel you always have to show us your happy side. It is okay to share your down times and Didi's advice rules when she says to surround yourself with positive people. Didi, you are one special gal! Your openness touches many lives! I am thankful for you and so glad to see you back!

[cal823]

Everyone... especially didi... thankyou
Didi, you just surprised and awed me, you are sew special, you and others on this site have become vitally important people to me.

[grammadidi]

I think you missed that you are very special to us, too! :)

Hugs, Didi