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Upset Special · Oct 22, 2007, 07:26 PM

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I have been very stressed out lately because of something that my girlfriend brought up just this week. She has mentioned that in a short time we will be done with high school and that she would be attending college in another state. (this is a guarantee) there is no way that I would ever be able to attend the same college as her and the inevitable is soon to come where we will be separated for good. She wants to continue the relationship, but I'm already torn apart at the thought of losing her. She has gotten angry at the fact that I'm mad at the situation since there's nothing she can do about it. I don't know what to do about any of this. I wouldn't want to be hurt anymore than I already know I'm going to be. I can't see myself without her right now, but if I stay with her then the pain and hurt of knowing I'm going to lose her and then when it actually happens will be most unbearable.. Thanks for spending your time on this, the fact you even took the time to listen to my problem is nice enough, but I welcome any ideas with an open mind and an open heart. Thank you.

msilva76 · Oct 22, 2007, 07:34 PM

Long distance relationships never work sorry sounds to me like your still young enjoy life before it passes you by

s_cianci · Oct 22, 2007, 07:41 PM

I agree with the above poster. How far away will she be? That line about there being "nothing she can do about it" is a big crock. Come on, now! There are thousands upon thousands of colleges in the U.S. in every state and practically in every county. If she's going to a college that's sufficiently far away that it becomes an issue, then surely there's plenty of colleges closer to home that she could be attending. I think that speaks loads about her intentions and you should respond accordingly.

BiWiccanAndProud · Oct 22, 2007, 08:12 PM

That is so untrue! Long distance relationships can last! I had an online relationship with a guy in Alabama for 9 months! I never called him or anything cause my mom wouldn't let me. I was with this guy for 9 months! And the only reason we broke up was cause he got into drugs and he didn't want me involved in anything like that and he didn't think we could last much longer since we were planning on meeting up but he was moving to Maine!

You can still call her and who knows maybe there is a possibility of seeing her if the college she is going to is close to yours. Better yet try to get into a college in a state close to hers or even in the same state so that it will be easier to go see her on occasion. If you love this girl and she loves you then you could stay with her.

As for you cianci... just cause she is going to a far away college doesn't mean she wants to leave him or anything, maybe that is a college she has been planning on going to or one she just likes! At least it sounds like your trying to say she is leaving him and I doubt that is what it is.

makki · Jan 18, 2008, 10:45 AM

Since it is time moving to college , not always stuff you need or wanted were there for you this is life. You can call her every time you miss her or text her trust me she will remember you , she won't forget you if you are not calling sorry she will forget you. Try to see her in the holidays if she is not really far away. Send her some presents on the most valuable days in the year ex.(graduation day, birthday, christmas etc.)

ihatewestseneca · Jan 18, 2008, 10:45 PM

My ex and I tried the long distance thing... same situation... she went away, it sucked, we talked everyday on the phone, and she seemed committed to making it work, as was I. We dated for 2 years before she left and we were very much in love, at least I was, then she came back for a couple breaks and things were great, she came back for xmas break and she ended it with me. She told me the long distance was too hard for her, I'm sure this was true, but she failed to mention there was another guy. Long story short, she obviously wasn't mature enough to handle it. This may be true with your girlfriend too, but I may be wrong, and you guys might make it through it, but speaking from experience... my ex and I couldn't last a semester, and I even told her I was planning on going to the same college next year. So yeah, she may love you right now, but girls are weird... her feelings may fade and she may find someone else, college is full of other guys. Looking back at myself while she was gone, I was just a puppy waiting for her to call... and knowing what I know now, I should have ended it when she left. I think you should do the same, college is college. And besides, its hard to decide what is best for yourself when you're planning your future around someone. I'm not saying you guys won't get back together or anything, because who knows... but I'm sure its easier being the dumper instead of the dumpee, but I don't know. But I do know that if you guys try long distance it will be 10 times harder for you, (the one left behind) It was for me, I missed her to death, more than I do now, now we aren't together anymore.

idunnodude101 · Jan 19, 2008, 03:18 AM

College changes everything man. Trust me I know so many people including me as soon as you get to college everything changes. If you're the nice guy usually the girl is the one who screwes you over. I'm in college now, know so many guys and me who went through thisss..

snow patroll · Jan 19, 2008, 06:27 AM

College changes everything man, when you get there, you'll understand..

LONG DISTANCE RELATIONPS do work.. but that's where the truth previals..
Love isn't determined by proximity,
If things go wrong with her in college, then u 2 weren't meant to be.

Its great that she is mad at you for thinking so pessimistically.. it seems like she loves you... only time will tell man