[shaunajohnson]

My sons biological father has not seen him in 6 years, he is now 8 and does not know any one besides my husband as his father, my husband has been around since I was 4 months pregnant and we have been married for 5 years, Now my ex is in jail for child abuse on his step kids and fighting for visitation. He is now paying child support in the amount of $30 a month but is behind $30,000. We were planning on taking his rights away and having my husband adopt him but our money situation did not allow it till recently and now they are saying its to late, I feel he is doing this out of boredom and free legal help, I have been with an attorney for 1 year and nothing has happened except for a meeting with a guardian ad litem which sidded with the father because of him finding god and saying the abuse was not on the biological children, what do I do I am desperate not to have my child go to a prison to meet the dad he doesn't even know about we are a law abiding family neither of us have ever been in trouble with the law, both hold good jobs and feel we are very good parents, my husband thinks of our son as his own blood and has raised him as such.. please please someone have good news for me..

[ScottGem]

Hmmm, I see nothing wrong in taking your son to a prison. Visits would be supervised and there is no chance of abuse.

Who is saying its too late, however? Since the father is now interested in exercizing his rights it may be too late for adoption. But if you really feel this is out of boredom, then give him enough rope. If he misses even one visit, go back to the court and ask that visitation should be ended.

But, if someone is being his advocate and saying he has changed, then you will have a hard time fighting visitation.

[Gernald]

It's not too late for Your x to give up custody, your husband could still adopt him after he gives up custody. How long until your husband gets out of jail? What's he going to do with custody while he's in prison, make your son talk to him? It could be worse.
Another piece of good news, no judge in there right mind would grant unsupervised visitation or full custody to a man who has a record for child abuse and who knows what else.

This is kind of one of those tough situations where several things could be done.

Scenario 1: you may need the money but isn't it better for your son to not meet his father and not be put through that as opposed to getting the money?

Scenario 2: Maybe it is a good thing for your son to meet his father. It's not like he'll be alone with him. Perhaps you can explain to your son that his father did very bad things and that going to jail is what happens when you do bad things. Try to make an example of his father, kind of a what not to do scenario.

Good Luck With Everything, I'm sure it will all work out in the end.

[ScottGem]

Comments on this postshaunajohnson disagrees: umm lets see I have aleady heard this, I guess this person would throw his children to the wolves I just can't punish my child for my mistake or his many, since when was a prison a place for children?

First, may I call your attention to the guidelines for using the comments feature found here:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/feedba...ure-24951.html

Has it ever occurred to you that maybe he has "found god" as the guardian ad litum reported? Maybe he is really repentant and deserves a second chance. Maybe someone like that might be a good influence on your child? These are all possibilities you seem to refuse to take into account.

No I would not throw children to the wolves. But supervised visitation, even in a prison environment is not likely to do harm to your child. Lots of children do visit their parents in prison.

The problem here is you are caught. You didn't push for adoption when you had the chance (and its not that expensive). Now, the father has the law behind him. So you need to make the best of it. And that's what my suggestions were intended for.