[Chery]

Hi, just thought I'd share some of the Jokes I receive now and then as some of them are just too cute to keep to myself. If anyone want's to join in, please do so. Humor is good medicine.


WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto
Your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of
A spider.

MARRIAGE SEMINAR
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,
Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential
that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes."
He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's
Pillsbury, isn't it?


CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the
aisles.The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls
and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for
Some tampons for your wife?
He answers, " You see, it's like this".
Yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton
Of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some
Rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own . So does she.




WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked
Sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

W O R D S

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words

women use a day...

30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to

repeat everything to men...

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

God may have created man before woman, but there is

always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

There are a lot more, but enough for this post....

[Chery]

CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be

so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.

" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.

God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;

God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who

should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first,

and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around

here and you should do it, because that is your job,

and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides,

it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament

and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed

says........"HEBREWS"

THE SILENT TREATMENT

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and

were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized

that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him

at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and

LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM."

He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was

9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.

Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him,

when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

[Nez]

At work we have a lot of "friendly" discussions about various operating systems.I like this joke which is on the main office notice board:

Bill and Steve are up a high tower,and Bill says to Steve,"I bet you $1million that I can drop my watch over the side,run down ten flights of stairs,and catch it before it smashes".The bet is accepted.Bill drops his watch,runs down the stairs,and the watch smashes to bits on the ground."I bet I can do it for $2million",shouts Steve.Bill accepts.The watch is dropped,Steve runs down the stairs,out the tower,and heads towards his car in the car park.Bill runs after him and says,"what are you doing,your watch will be smashed to bits!"."No it wont" says Steve,"I wound it back 30 minutes". :D

[Chery]

We need more humor in our lives, so keep them coming!