[Nicole98]

My question is. My boyfriend is suppose to have visits with his son on Saturday where the child's mother is to bring him to the court and leave and come pick up in 3hrs. For the past 2 weeks she comes down to the courts and claims the child refuses to get out of the car. She does not encourage any phone calls or for him to see me. This past weekend when he didn't want to get out of the car the counselor told me that she can't force him to come. I am wondering why the courts can't see that she is turning my son against me and that this is emotional abuse? All my visits for the past year have been supervised and all visits have been great. IS there a way that I can file to suspend child support if she is going to continue to not allow me to be apart of his life? Or should I get an attorney to file for Joint custudy and who knows if she will ever let me see him at that point. Please help asap.

[ScottGem]

Hmm the note starts off; "My boyfriend is suppose to have visits with his son..." And ends up with; "to not allow me to be apart of his life". So are you the dad or the girlfriend?

Either way, visitation and child support are two separate things. You can't tie one to the other. On the other hand, you (or the father) have a right to visitation since the court ordered it. So I would go back to the court and ask that the court appoint someone to interview the child to determine why the child is, all of a sudden, refusing to visit with you. Use the record of the supervised visits as evidence that everything was going well.

If the court finds she is trying to influence the child they could find her in contempt. This could result in a change of custody.

[Nicole98]

It is actually my boyfriend son.

[Nicole98]

We have talked to an attorney and we are thinking of having him retain my boyfriend. Do you think he will ever get joint custody or will this never happen and be a waste of money.

[macksmom]

Your boyfriend cannot suspend child support because he is not seeing his son... as Scott said, child support and visitation are 2 separate issues.

Why doesn't your boyfriend go to the car and get the child? It is his son too, just as his mother can... he can get the child out of the car.

It would be wise to retain an attorney. If it can be shown that the mother is complicating visitations, there is a chance that the judge will see it in the best interest of the child to have joint custody between the parents.

[ScottGem]

You mean having your boyfirend retain the atty. Yes that is a good idea. An atty can advise him on the best course of action.

Joint Custody simply means that he has a say in how the child is raised. He should have that or should have no problem getting that.

But I think you mean shared physical custody where the child can stay with him for extended periods. That's harder to predict how a judge will rule.

[Nicole98]

Your boyfriend cannot suspend child support because he is not seeing his son...as Scott said, child support and visitation are 2 separate issues.

Why doesn't your boyfriend go to the car and get the child? It is his son too, just as his mother can...he can get the child out of the car.

It would be wise to retain an attorney. If it can be shown that the mother is complicating visitations, there is a chance that the judge will see it in the best interest of the child to have joint custody between the parents.

You can't imagine to believe what she is doing to this child. The supervised visits would go wonderful, once the courts ruled unsupervised she had done nothing but brainwash the child and now he doesn't want to go with my boyfriend. And the courts do nothing to iniciate the visits except say they can't force him to come into the building.

[ScottGem]

That's where the lawyer comes in. He can help you get the child counseling to see if she really is brainwashing the kid. If that can be proven, then something may be doable.