[one_life]

The best way to get back at an ex for dumping you is to keep your dignity. When they break the news to you, remain calm and never create a scene. Walk away with your head high. Usually when they dump you, the last thing they remember is the scene you created (crying, begging, violence stalking, etc). Most breakups happen and words are said that most people regret and in the long run your ex takes comfort in being happy they left you.
When they start to miss you, the last thing they remember the is the final outburst you created (it is worse if you start to harass them later on), and they are glad they left you.

Most dumpers are looking for something to make them feel good and clear their guilty conscience about leaving you. Don't give them that.

They torn out your heart, now don't let them take your dignity too.

[Chery]

Hi one_life. Am I following you? Yup! Checking to see if you are still keeping your cool and watching your healing process.
Those of us (men and women) who create and thrive on outbursts are the ones that are insecure. Not just in our current relationships, but in previous times in our lives, be it childhood, school, home, or any other attempts at achievements tried and negative feedback received. It's just as we get older, we tend to forget the original reasons for these insecurities and one builds up on the other creating helplessness, frustration and wanting to lash out. Jealousy is one of the results of the built up insecurities as well as child abuse, spouse abuse and slow attempts at siucide (such as drug and alcohol use).
This is why any person who has taken a fall (your interpretation of a heart torn out) loses self-confidence and self-respect. These are the first things that need to be retrieved and most cannot do this without help.
You have gone through a lot of personal agony due to the actions of another, but have now realized that for every action, there is a reaction, and you have (I hope) now realized your reactions need no longer be self-destructive. I, for one am very proud of your progress and please continue the good work on yourself, as well as helping others without being judgemental either way. We all have to make our own choices and mistakes to learn. Keep it up, and keep us posted. Congrats, you're almost there. The more you can read yourself from now on, the more you can read others and be of benefit to both.

School of Self-Respect!

[Wildcat21]

Yes... that is the very best thing you can do. Say "what ever you want" "ok bye"

AND DON'T FREAKING CALL!! Don't CALL!!

[s_cianci]

Very well put, one life.

[letmeno]

A guy once told me that any man can handle a ex girlfriend screaming, crying, cursing them out and yelling at them, but what is really hard to take is when an ex looks at them, smile, wave, and continue on about their life. He said seeing an ex happy is really a hard pill to swallow.

[Wildcat21]

At some point - 6 months maybe - I don't care.

[fredg]

Hi,
Different people act differently with breaking up. One can try following certain "rules" about breaking up, but it doesn't always work.
You have some good suggestions, but again, just being oneself is the best way.
If it's normal for one to act like "I didn't care in the first place", then go for it. But, that really isn't the "norm".

[Chery]

You are right fredg, there is no rule as each of us are different. Just like our kids, we learn to talk, walk, and later a trade, and an attitude towards life. But we all learn more each day and have the option to change when a certain process is not right for us. If life were so easy, there would be a rule book printed and everyone would go by it - how boring! We learn by examples, advice, and then make our choices. ;)

[Katiy]

The best revenge, I always say, is to live a good life.