[dvlsh1]

I live in WI and I am thinking about getting a divorce. I have been married for almost 11 years and have 3 children, and lately my husband has been acting extremely strange. He is disappearing on weekends and spending a lot of money that we truly need to pay bills. Right now he is MIA with the pick up truck that we purchased at the beginning of August that is titled only in my name and the laon is also only in my name. I don't know what I should do, I would like to sell the truck, because he is not proving any money towards any of the bills. Can I report the truck stolen? Should I get a GPS system to track where he is at? I can afford to pay for nearly everything as he has had some medical problems in the past and was not working most of the time, I just cannmot afford to pay the payment for this truck and the winter heating bills! Please let me know your thoughts.

[Wildcat21]

Have you talked about it? Would he have a reasonable talk?

Something is not right here. The woman's gut feelings are generally right.

Do you love him?

I would advise conseling. But, you may want to contact an attorney immediately.

He doesn't work?

[dvlsh1]

He says he will talk about it. Last night he said we could talk about it tomorrow, and he took off in the middle of the night and I haven't seen or heard from him since. Lately he has been totally unreasonable- I can't seem to do or say anything right. We have talked about counseling in the past, but I am afraid he will lie to the counslor just like he has been lying to me. Right now he works construction, but the season is soon ending. I am just not sure what I should do. :confused:

[Wildcat21]

Well - HE TOTALLY does not respect you. You do NOT trust him

With out trust and respect you have nothing.

He is defintely up to something.

The worst part for him is it sounds like you support him?

My advice would be to talk with a good lawyer.

He is defintely up to no good running off like that. If he lies to than it's over.

[fredg]

Hi,
I am so sorry to hear this. It's bad enough when two people really respect each other, and trying to make ends meet. But, this is a complete show of disrepect and just not caring anymore by your husband.
You really need a lawyer. Maybe through talking with some friends, you can get the name of a good one.; or just take "pot luck", and call one. Find out what your first visit would cost.
You need to run an ad in your local paper, something like "I will not be responsible for any debts incurred by anyone other than myself". This will stop you from being personally responsible from debts he runs up for himself.
Please talk with a lawyer. Or, talk with someone from your local Social Services Department, if you have one. They could guide you on what to do.
The only way you will get back the pickup truck is to hire a private detective, and they don't come cheap. You could also give the local Police and possible the State Police the tag number, and have them stop the truck and call you. If the truck in in both your names, there is nothing you can do.
I sincerely wish you the best.

[s_cianci]

How long has he been MIA with the truck? Usually an adult can be legally considered missing after they've been gone for 24 hours without a trace. Contact the police and file a missing person report. Explain to them that the title to the vehicle is in your name. This will protect you if he would use the truck while doing something illegal. If the truck is in fact strictly in your name then that gives you the right to sell it if you wish. Have you confronted him as to these weekend disappearances and excessive spending? I'm presuming that right now you are the primary breadwinner. You may want to consider opening an account in only your name that he has no access to for depositing your wages. If your employer offers direct deposit then have your paychecks routed to this account. If not, then go to the bank where you open this account as soon as you get paid and deposit your paycheck. Use this account to pay all of your living expenses. Make it so that the only money he can get his hands on is money that he would earn himself assuming that he's inclined to go back to work. As far as getting a divorce, a lot hinges on what you eventually find out about his weekend disappearances and spending sprees. It certainly deosn't sound like it's on the up-and-up but don't jump to conclusions ; find out for sure. Hopefully you have a "paper trail" of all these expenditures ; that'll come in handy should you eventually have to take some sort of legal action against your husband.

[rkim291968]

Disappearing on weekends? Getting out in the middle of the night? Ouch. What does your intuition say?

If this is the only time it happened in your 11 year marriage, perhaps, you should approach with caution. Maybe, just maybe, he is going through a mid-life crisis. 3 kids and 11 year old marriage is worth it to take divorce very seriously.

[dvlsh1]

I definitely know that everything he does can not possibly be on the up and up. I asked him if we should talk about this among our mutual friends and he would not agree to it. He has been working this week, but I will see what happens when he gets his paycheck. I have expressed time and time again how unfair it is that my entire paycheck goes for bills and esentials and he gets to spend his (when he is working) how he desires.
Maybe I will approach the thought of counseling again- it can't hurt, if one of us is telling the truth.

[young lady]

Call him if you can. If he can't explain himself reasonably divorce him. Unless of course you want him to continue being a leech to your bank account. I mean, it's yours too. You have the right to know what the money is being spent on. Hope I helped,
young lady

[Katiy]

Why do you need a 150 pound anchor when you have 3 kids? Why isn't he the one babysitting and you taking the truck and being mia? Why don't you go mia for 2 weeks with the truck. See how he likes it.

[talaniman]

Whether its drugs or a women or both(my opinion) its up to you to protect those kids until you find out what the real deal is.A lawyer and a supportive friend is what you need now to keep a roof over your head and food on the table.Unless he starts acting like a MAN and taking care of business it must be you who steps up and do whatever you have to for the sake of your children.No good can come of them being around this miserable excuse of man not putting family first no matter what.Be very strong now and don't fall for no dumb stuff from this knucklehead.I think it's a shame you have to protect kids from a parent but this is NOT the behavior of a rational caring responsible adult and I frankly don't care what his reasons are.Get a lawyer a preacher the kids grandparents and even the police to help if necessary.He's headed for hell,don't go with him.Good Luck.