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Clough · Oct 27, 2007, 09:52 PM

By the way, I am fine, I think!

Marcus11 · Oct 27, 2007, 10:16 PM

Originally Posted by Clough

Hello Marcus11,

I'm not quite sure that I understand what you are asking. Are you wanting to get back together with her in order to get your stuff back? Really get back together with her? Or, just get back together so that your relationship can have some final closing to it?

Eh that I do not know.

Firstly I am asking what her actions mean.

What I want from her- I do not know. I do love her, but can not decide myself If I am still in love with her, and even if I want to pursue a relationship with her again.

Clough · Oct 27, 2007, 10:19 PM

I think that it sounds like she still cares about you and is interested in you. Do you think that might be a possibility? I mean, the signs seem to be there.

Marcus11 · Oct 27, 2007, 10:26 PM

Originally Posted by Clough

I think that it sounds like she still cares about you and is interested in you. Do you think that might be a possibility? I mean, the signs seem to be there.

The sings seem to be there, but don't know.

Last time I contacted her was apologizing to her about a month and a half ago, aside from the happy birthday which she was happy I remembered from what I hear (gotta love the drama her friends bring to me at times).

Other then that have shown no interest to her at all, and do not know how to approach talking to her really, seeing she did not respond to me directly in either of those communications.

Close girlfriends (ones that actually have interest in what is good for me lol... ) Have wanted me to call her, remind her of some of the memorable moments, and confront her at work (I normally do not acknowledge she is there if we are working together). For example caught her staring at me after I got done talking to a customer and did what I did when other girls are checking me out, showed nothing more then I know.

Clough · Oct 27, 2007, 10:35 PM

When's the last time that you had a real "down-to-earth" discussion with her about things between the two of you?

Chery · Oct 28, 2007, 02:49 AM

Hi dear,
I think you are a very sensitive young man and believe you can find other innovative input for your talented poetry. We don't always have to be in pain or suffering to bring out the best in us.

She is a problem you don't need. Get your stuff from her and tell her to find another sucker.

You deserve a lot better.

I'm off to hospital tomorrow and may not be here for a few days, but on my return, I will check here again.

I was waiting for your messaging, but maybe we can try when I get back.

Don't give up on yourself, and take care of NUMBER ONE...

Work on the image that inspires and works for you.

Whats_Love_Gottodo_withit · Oct 28, 2007, 05:06 PM

About the ex girl issue: If you still have strong feelings for your ex girl, then I don`t think you should give up on her yet. Maybe you can meet up, if she wants to, and you can tell her how you feel? And if she can look into your eyes and honestly tell you that she doesn`t feel anything for you anymore, then you should let her go..

Marcus11 · Oct 29, 2007, 12:18 PM

Originally Posted by Clough

When's the last time that you had a real "down-to-earth" discussion with her about things between the two of you?

Real down to earth conversation?

Months ago.

She will not even talk to me, of course I really have not tried. I could easily confront her at work instead of not acknowledging she existed. She is rather immature when it has come to this, to not even discuss it with me.

She has gone out of her way to find out about me, even weirder is one of her best friends always talks about my ex when I am talking to her.

Marcus11 · Oct 29, 2007, 05:38 PM

Originally Posted by Whats_Love_Gottodo_withit

About the ex girl issue: If you still have strong feelings for your ex girl, then i don`t think you should give up on her yet. Maybe you can meet up, if she wants to, and you can tell her how you feel? And if she can look into your eyes and honestly tell you that she doesn`t feel anything for you anymore, then you should let her go..

Strong feelings I do not believe so. Some feelings yes, but would I consider a relationship with her again? I don't know. I do need to talk to her at least, what I am trying to get at, but how, and what the hell is she doing basically (how she has been acting).

I think the very fact she has paraded around that it is to hard to see me, and the very fact she has left our work crying says she still has feelings for me.

grammadidi · Oct 29, 2007, 09:02 PM

It sounds to me like you are in denial. IF she loves you, then my guess is that she needed to see the same from you. Perhaps your 'walls' are the problem. You deny strong feelings, yet this issue is the priority right now?

In actual fact, you would be doing the both of you a disservice to get involved with her right now in any capacity. I stand firm behind my 2 posts to you, especially after reading the entire thread again. I believe you must involve yourself in some form of therapy/counselling. Financial reasons need not be an excuse for not receiving these services. There are many places that will see you for free, or for fees on a sliding basis. I believe that as long as you deny your need for therapy that you will never resolve this issue and you will possibly never find a lasting loving relationship with anyone.

If you need your belongings from her, deal with that. If you need closure, tell her that. Do NOT quit your job - that's running away. If you care why she cries... I mean REALLY care, not just relate it to you, then ask her!! If she believes that you cheated and you remain emotionally dead to her (even if just in appearance) then of course she cries!

I really wish you would re-read the entire thread slowly, giving each post considerable thought, writing down your immediate response/feeling, then writing again after giving the post some thought and allowing your emotions in. Try to read your own posts as an outsider and write your thoughts as you do so.

I feel that you have done here exactly what you did (or didn't do) to push her away and make her question your love for her. When the comments began to get too close you responded with your head rather than your heart. As people continued to relate to your emotions, you pulled away/backed off. Yes, you may have had a legitimate reason why you didn't post, although, I believe that if you really wanted to, you would have found a way.

I could be wrong, but my gut says that I am not. If not, then I hope you allow yourself to really experience and accept your feelings and realize that a good therapist can probably help you through all of this in less than two months if you are truly prepared to work at it. In fact, I bet 3 or 4 sessions would help you to realize a marked improvement.

Hope this helps.

Hugs, Didi

Smiley5 · Oct 29, 2007, 09:53 PM

Originally Posted by Marcus11

I guess I like myself for how I treat other people.

I wish you could say that you like yourself for how you treat you. I have had my share of issues/problems... well, who hasn't... and I wish this was the one gift I could give myself. You are very hard on yourself and maybe you shouldn't be. You are going to hate this answer, but I have honestly found that as I get older the easier it is to cut myself some slack and find good things about me to believe in. There are so many people in this world who are willing to knock you down and keep you down... try not to help them do this. Take care.