[babigirl1]

:( My brother has Schizophenia and he lives 450 miles from me. This is the story. My parents live only about 5 miles from him and they call me and tell me things about what is going on with him. My mom has a lot of health problems and can't help my brother very much , but my Dad went over there tonight and he is having a very bad set back with it. He several years ago pulled a gun on Dad and had it in his face. Dad was able to get him to put it down and when he left he went to the law and let them know what all was going on with him . When the law came in there was a lot of gun loaded with the softy off and loaded to the max. they took all of his guns and he isn't to ever have anymore.and they came and got him and he was held for 72 hours in the Hospital and put him on Geodon for Schizophenia. And he currently sees a doctor for this medication. One that deals with this problem. When he goes he tells them that everything is OK. Now to ask my ? My Brother has a lot of hate for our Dad for good reasons. There was a lot of abuse when we were growing up. When Dad called me he told me that My Brother was really bad. He and our cousin live together in a trailer and when Dad went in the place wasn't even able to walk threw. The place is not even liveable. That My Brother hadn't had a bath in days. He is moving his hand as though he is counting and looks as if he is off in another world. Talks to himself. Stays to himself. These are all signs he has had in the past. Our cousin tells my Dad that he fears for his life at times. He does have guns again. 2 that we do know for sure , but there could be more. My Dad doesn't want to believe there is much wrong with him. He is old school and refuses to believe in any mental problem. I try to talk to him about this but get no where. What my biggest fear is... is getting a phone call telling me by brother has taken his own life or our Dads or someone else's. Because I am so far from him, I don't know what I can do at this point to help him, before this gets real bad. I fell he is at the point to where he can't live alone. He needs more help than he is getting. To best describe him. He is like a bomb and could go off at any time. I fell I need to do something, cause my Dad won't. He is only going to tell my brother tomorrow that he isn't going to give him his disability check unless he cleans his trailer and cleans himself up and acts normal. He is his payee. I feel this is only going to add fuel to the fire. But my Dad won't listen to me. Does anyone know how I can help. Being so far from my brother and any advise you could give would be a great help. I am so SCARED. :(

[str82hell]

Welcome to my world. My brother is also paranoid schizophrenic. The failure to keep things clean and take care of themselves is part of the disease. It would seem so is parental denial. There is a slight possibility that your dad is in denial in defense. It might hurt too much to think he may have caused this.

My mom blames herself for my brother all the time. He's run off to attempt suicide a few times. There is little you can do. Unless you want to move to the area, fight the family in court, and get the adult equivalent of custody. Even then the condition requires more than one caretaker, so he would probably need to institutionalized. All said and done you would spend most of your time taking care of him - even if he's institutionalized. Unless it's a lockdown. There is no easy answer to this one. Sorry.

[babigirl1]

I told Dad he needs to be Institutionalized and he is yes in denial. I wish I could move closer to him. But I cant. I am just scared it is going to have to be something very bad for him to do for Dad to realize I am right. I am just scared of what that will be. I feel if I don't do something and he does do something. I will blame myself for not doing something.

[str82hell]

I know what you mean. I went through that aspect of it too. In my brothers case the one who he is living with is the one who decided to take him out of the institution I worked so hard to place him in. He did better in there. I have had to step back and let it go. As hard as it is to do. If he kills himself, what can I say. I know what a tortured mind is like, so I don't know that I'd blame him. I went through the grief of losing the brother I knew when he was diagnosed. He's not the same person. If he kills my mom, she has been warned repeatedly. You know the old saying... you can lead a horse to water. Its hell, but you have to accept there are problems that you can't fix.

I went through a week or two with social services at the hospital to have him put in an institution. Mom pulled him right back out within a month because "he had to share a room with someone." Now he is back to drinking, drugs and screwing up his meds. I could move back, but for what? To watch history repeat itself?

If your dad thinks he's normal, chances are anything you do will be reversed by him. Again... the answer is the hardest possible choice, not to make, but to live. Namely, accept that you have limitations, and are not responsible for other people's decisions.

[susanjsmith]

I just saw your post today. I have a family member with paranoid schizophrenia, and understand. There is an organization that was very helpful to me, and I'd like to recommend it. NAMI. There may be a chapter close to you. It is a support group, but I also received valuable advice along with the emotional support. We were living a nightmare, but things are better now. NAMI helped. Good luck to you.

[N0help4u]

The Nami sounds good here is their site
NAMI | Schizophrenia

It is hard because there is little you can do especially with your dad in denial.
If he has guns when he is not allowed to you maybe should report that since it is a potentially hazard situation. Declaring him incompetent is good too but would require a lot of efforts. There are also organizations that may be willing to go to his house and help him with things like meals, cleaning and home nurses to make sure he is taking his meds.
I am not sure what all he would be eligible for.