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    sammy123's Avatar
    sammy123 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Oct 10, 2007, 03:05 PM
    I am cheating, what should I do
    Okay first of all there is no need to tell me what a terrible person I am, I already know.
    I have been with the same person for four years, and am very much in love! But I have a friend who is athletic, compassionate, smart, lets just say he's the total package. We are both very attracted to one and other. Throughout high school we were best friends and more. After high school we moved to the same city but go to different schools, I'm here with my boyfriend, and haven't seen the other guy sice we left. But we just went back home for a long weekend, and we happened to go to the same party, and we spent the night at a friends house where a little too much happened, we have done things before, but never that much. And now that we are back in the city he is calling me to hangout. I want to say yes, but I know what will happen.


    I love my boyfriend, but this other guy is soooo amazing
    madaman's Avatar
    madaman Posts: 212, Reputation: 25
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    #2

    Oct 10, 2007, 03:08 PM
    If you truly loved your boyfriend, this wouldn't have happened. You need to look deep in your heart and figure out who you want to be with, you can't have both.
    Zell's Avatar
    Zell Posts: 57, Reputation: 6
    Junior Member
     
    #3

    Oct 10, 2007, 03:24 PM
    You love your BF but this othert guy is amazing... Are you sure its not just a lust thing with this other guy? Madaman is right, if you loved your BF you wouldn't of let a little too much happen.
    emo girl45's Avatar
    emo girl45 Posts: 12, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Oct 10, 2007, 03:33 PM
    First think about it and see if you really like this other guy. And if you really do look at who you like more. But first you should think about what you're doing, I mean the other guy has a girlfriend and you have a boyfriend
    If you decide to stay with your boyfriend I would advise not telling him what happened, it was a couple times but not that much, you don't want to break his heart by making him have to hear that
    drewcious281's Avatar
    drewcious281 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Oct 10, 2007, 03:35 PM
    Tell your boyfriend what you have done. He will most likely end it but you should respect that since you know what your doing is wrong. Like the others, this other guy is probably a lust thing but it isn't right what your doing to your long term man... do him a favor.
    HogleLover's Avatar
    HogleLover Posts: 55, Reputation: 4
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    #6

    Oct 10, 2007, 03:38 PM
    Think about it this way. How would you feel if you found out he was cheating on you with one of his bestfriends? I know being attracted to someone you know so well and have a past with is very difficult... I've been there... but you have to resist. I would suggest not telling him unless your going to break it off. But you do need to figure out what you want to do... because you can't continue to go behind his back. He'll find out sooner or later.

    Good luck.
    THATguy23's Avatar
    THATguy23 Posts: 19, Reputation: 3
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    #7

    Oct 10, 2007, 04:07 PM
    Wow, it shouldn't have happened the first time, but the fact that you are considering doing it a second time means you're probably better off being single, because your man doesn't deserve that.
    mckenzie134's Avatar
    mckenzie134 Posts: 647, Reputation: 67
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    #8

    Oct 10, 2007, 04:18 PM
    Language was deleted.

    Some people really don't know what they have until its gone. Why not go for the new guy. You will probably work out in time that you threw away your four year relationship but then again it may work. Why would you stay with someone if you are with another. Your cheating meant you do not love your boyfriend you are just insecure and don't want to be alone in case the new guy does not work out. Either way this is not healthy and you are just selfish.
    madaman's Avatar
    madaman Posts: 212, Reputation: 25
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    #9

    Oct 10, 2007, 04:38 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by mckenzie134
    Some people realy dont know what they have until its gone. Why not go for the new guy. You will probly work oput in time that you threw away your four year relationship but then agai it may work. Why would you stay with someone if you are wioth another. your cheating meand you do not lovere your boyfriend you are hust insecure and odont want to be alone incase the new guy does not work out. Either way this is not healthy and you are just selfish.

    Im going to go out on a limb and guess that this has happened to you before... hah. I agree with what you are saying though.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #10

    Oct 10, 2007, 06:08 PM
    Break up with your boyfriend, you don't love him or respect him. See what you may or may not have with this guy. But just like this guy had no problem sexing you knowing you have a boy friend, he will more than likely have no problem sexing someone else if you two get together.
    crushedovernover's Avatar
    crushedovernover Posts: 260, Reputation: 19
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    #11

    Oct 11, 2007, 10:36 AM
    I only read I'm cheating. You're a piece of work. Who are you as a person. What values do you hold. The grass isn't always greener on the other side. And what will you do when this new guy doesn't work out. Go back to your ex. You disgust me. Tell your boyfreind that you're a hoe and that he deserves better then a sink hole
    crushedovernover's Avatar
    crushedovernover Posts: 260, Reputation: 19
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    #12

    Oct 11, 2007, 10:40 AM
    Also you think this guy is so amazing? What about the man who has stuck by your side for 4 years, What about all of the effort he has put into you. And your going to throw it away for a guy who you THINK is amazing.. How old are you 16,17.. If your in a serious relationship then take it serious other wise, Tell your soon to be ex what you have done and leave him the hell alone. I hope he kicks you to the street and once you try to be dependent on this new guy he will do the same.. You clearly have no respect for yourself that you can just have sexual relations with a guy who you went to high school with. You're a sad excuse for a human being. Im not faulting you for wanting to be with another but there are ways to deal with things. And cheating isn't one of them.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
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    #13

    Oct 11, 2007, 11:23 AM
    You can't love your boyfriend and "think this other guy is so amazing" both. If you think you do, then you don't have the emotional maturity to understand what love really is.

    What you feel is lust, not the same thing at all.

    You need to leave both of these guys alone till you can grasp commitment and love both. Right now you don't understand either.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #14

    Oct 11, 2007, 12:44 PM
    okay first of all there is no need to tell me what a terrible person I am, I already know.
    You are a terrible cheater, and if you take a 4 year relationship so lightly, then how serious is this new guy. None of your actions show love or caring for anyone, not even yourself.
    Leidenschaftlich für Wahr's Avatar
    Leidenschaftlich für Wahr Posts: 243, Reputation: 46
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    #15

    Oct 11, 2007, 12:48 PM
    Do your boyfriend a favor and leave him... all you care about is your own selfish desires.
    AKaeTrue's Avatar
    AKaeTrue Posts: 1,599, Reputation: 272
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    #16

    Oct 11, 2007, 01:26 PM
    I'm not going to tell you that you are a terrible person, a lot of good people make mistakes.
    If everyone in this world that cheated at some point in their life were all bad and terrible, we'd be in big trouble.
    So, with that said, I'll answer your question of "I am cheating, what should I do?"
    What you should do is know your feelings and realize the difference between lust, being in love with a significant other, and the love people have for a friend.
    You may very well love your BF, but you're probably not in love with him or the cheating would have never happened.

    Take some time to learn your true feelings and deal with them accordingly so that no one is hurt more than they have to be in the future.
    statictable's Avatar
    statictable Posts: 436, Reputation: 34
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    #17

    Oct 11, 2007, 03:50 PM
    Yep it's time to "feel good." Off to school, a new town and all is great. Seeing your old friend was good in many ways; a friend close by, a person to relate to, memories of the past, sharing common interests and on and on. I don't think that was quite enough. You wanted more but got a lot less. You traded all of these things and another person you loved with all his ideas, thoughts, humor, loyalty, dedication, likes, dislikes, trust, and so much more for one simple thing; your desire to be nailed by a kid we call He Has-IT-ALL. I would guess the guy your with took one look at you and said Shyst-oh-holly-foke-tow She Has-IT-ALL. A girl getting a guy into bed is a no brain-RRRRR.
    Sad Soul's Avatar
    Sad Soul Posts: 177, Reputation: 40
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    #18

    Oct 11, 2007, 05:09 PM
    I find it interesting that your post is totally centered on the atheltic guy.

    Hmmm... it doesn't really talk about your boyfriend or how you should deal with his broken heart.

    Which says you're not the right woman for your boyfriend. Please leave your boyfriend and go be with the athelete; you two deserve each other.

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