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    Presario19's Avatar
    Presario19 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Oct 9, 2007, 08:40 PM
    First dates
    Hey,
    During my freshmen of high school I saw this girl. She was really beautiful,:) but I could never actually tell her. So now I'm a sophomore. Finally I told her how I felt. Now we talk every now and then. She knows that I that I don't have a girl yet. I've really been connecting with her,but I'm still too nervous about asking her out. Im not sure what to do on the first date or even if she feels the same way. What should I do

    I really like this girl and I don't want to mess this up.
    jeffatl's Avatar
    jeffatl Posts: 489, Reputation: 83
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    #2

    Oct 9, 2007, 08:44 PM
    The BEST thing you can do here is GO FOR IT!! Ask her if she would like to see a movie, but make sure you set a time and date... make it in STONE! The next time you talk to her, just say "what are you doing this weekend? would you like to go see a movie with me?". EASY! The worst thing you can do is not go for it. It is SCARY, but you took the hardest step already. Ah to be 16 again... dont let it slip by buddy, if you like her... ask her out. If things don't work out, at least you know... but I have faith! GO FOR IT!!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Oct 9, 2007, 10:34 PM
    Ask her out!! That way you will have no regrets later.
    Presario19's Avatar
    Presario19 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Oct 10, 2007, 12:00 PM
    She said yes
    Hey,

    OK I ask the girl of my dreams out and she said yes. Now what do I do. What kind of questions should I ask, what should I not do. I don't want to mess this up. What does a women like to hear I mean I don't wann get caught in moment of dead silence. Should I sit back and let her talk. And most of all how do I end the date so that I still have chance at a second date.
    queenannsrev's Avatar
    queenannsrev Posts: 8, Reputation: 2
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    #5

    Oct 10, 2007, 12:06 PM
    The best thing to do is to be yourself, two get her to talk but be yourself. Do not talk about you show that you are interested in her. Keep eye contact, The eyes say it all so keep eye contact and may I say again get her talking.
    pluckyflamingo's Avatar
    pluckyflamingo Posts: 220, Reputation: 17
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    #6

    Oct 10, 2007, 12:19 PM
    First off congratulations, and second just relax it is not as scary and nerve racking as you think. Find out what her favorite foods are so you can find a restaurant that she will like, second do something active, mini golf, ice skating, bowling, etc. etc... Movies don't really give you or her a chance to show who you really are. Defiantly keep the eye contact, and be interested in to what she is saying. But do not be afraid to talk about stuff you like as well. It builds a better relationship and she gets a good idea of who you really are. I don't know what type of girl she is and I don't know how old she is, but don't put the moves on her during the first date. It will show your eagerness, and may possibly disrespect her. Holding her hand or you putting your arm around her are fine but don't move to quickly. GOOD LUCK!!
    grammadidi's Avatar
    grammadidi Posts: 1,182, Reputation: 468
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    #7

    Oct 10, 2007, 12:28 PM
    Congratulations on taking a huge step! First of all, more than anything, be yourself! Don't lie, brag, or try to be someone you're not! She said yes because she likes YOU and wants to get to know you better. Silence is not necessarily a bad thing. During times like that you can just look at her and smile, or touch your hand to hers and smile. When you go to pick her up, give her a little hug to greet her. Not a bear hug, just one you would give a family member if they walked in the door or were leaving after a visit.

    Ask her questions that you REALLY want to know the answer to. That way it won't be a problem to act interested. Ask open-ended questions... like... instead of saying 'Do you like movies?' or 'Do you like music?' find out what she likes and why she likes it. Just carry it that one step farther. If you find that you are running out of questions then try starting one with 'So, what is your opinion on.. ' Also, when she answers, if you feel the same way, say so! Draw from your own experiences. What do you feel most comfortable talking about? I have always found that people enjoy reminiscing about their childhood. Instead of traditional questions, what about... 'When you were a kid, did you like to climb trees?' or 'What is your fondest vacation memory as a kid?'

    The most important thing is to make her feel heard. That in itself should get you a second date. If she says, "Oh, I hate math! The questions are so hard!" Then your response can be, "Well, I've noticed that you seem to be thinking all the time. Do you think you have a problem in math sometimes because your mind is more complex, so you are always looking for answers that are way out there instead of the simpler solutions?"

    Flatter her, but only with honest compliments and not in a manner that looks like you are trying to score points. For instance, in the above scenario I said "I've noticed that you seem to be thinking all the time." You are showing that you pay attention. That could be "I've noticed that you seem to be really good in Science." or "You sure seem to be able to express yourself with the written word!" etc.

    Oh, and don't be all serious! Girls love to laugh and smile. Don't tell her any vulgar jokes, but funny little stories from your childhood can do it. :)

    As for ending the date... don't be pushy... even if she seems a little forward. If this gal is the girl of your dreams, let her know that by respecting her. (Oh, and don't forget general respect - hold doors open, hold her chair for her as she seats herself, stand if she excuses herself, walk on the outside of the sidewalk closest to the road, hold her hand or arm as you cross the road, etc.) I would tell her that you had a really great time... especially because... or especially when. Then I would tell her that you are looking forward to seeing her again soon, give her a hug if you are comfortable with that, and lightly brush your lips on her cheek for a soft kiss that will leave her not wanting to wash her face for days! :)

    Good luck!

    Hugs, Didi
    Presario19's Avatar
    Presario19 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Oct 10, 2007, 12:53 PM
    Go for it
    Presario19's Avatar
    Presario19 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Oct 10, 2007, 01:03 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by queenannsrev
    the best thing to do is to be yourself, two get her to talk but be your self. do not talk about you show that you are interested in her. Keep eye contact, The eyes say it all so keep eye contact and may I say again get her talking.

    OK eye contact that's good,but I already know a little about her, but I really want to connect on a deeper level:D
    queenannsrev's Avatar
    queenannsrev Posts: 8, Reputation: 2
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    #10

    Oct 10, 2007, 01:45 PM
    Sounds like you want in her pants and to do that young man you will have to earn your way if it's easy she ate worth it. Take what has been said in all the post eveyone of the replies you have are right. Eye contact, get her to talk, be yourself, share things about you. But most of all you must show her you are interested in her not her body. If she is all you say then she can have any man or boy she wants. Be patient go slow and let her lead on the physical aspect of it. You will know believe me you will know.
    cerisa's Avatar
    cerisa Posts: 247, Reputation: 71
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    #11

    Oct 10, 2007, 04:28 PM
    Congratulations! Talk won't bog down if you don't ask 'yes' and 'no' questions. No one likes to be asked a series of questions. Tell a little about yourself, as in what you do for fun, what you are studying, she will want to know about you, too.
    Have an idea of a couple of places to go in case one does not work out. Know how to get there,know if they are open! If there is a dress code, What they serve, and what it costs, if it is a restaurant.
    If you have a good time she will be more likely to go on a second date, and avoiding awkward surprises helps with having a good time.

    End the date, hmmmm, you know, if you have to do much walking you are more likely to hold hands. End the date by telling her you really enjoy her company. Open the car door for her, walk her to her door, kiss her hand, if she is expecting more, kiss her cheek . Tell her she is an interesting girl, (if she is) and say you would like to go ---- (you fill in the blanks) with her this weekend, leave it open in case she really does have obligations so she can say, I have ---- (whatever time) open.

    My boyfriend (now husband) took me to a very upscale restaurant when we first dated. He did not know I don't like seafood, but shrimp was the least expensive thing on the menu. I did not tell him, and ate shrimp, actually I ate salad and side dishes, he got the shrimp. I got the guy! Just goes to show you, you never can tell.
    lmnotok's Avatar
    lmnotok Posts: 217, Reputation: 37
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    #12

    Oct 10, 2007, 08:24 PM
    Use eyes contact! That makes perfect. I guarantee that she can feel it, Just tell everything u need to tell through your eyes. Woman are very sensitive at it. And if she shows u the same eye contact then just simply get a bouquet and tell her. Life is get and lose, don't worry buddy!
    iCHLiEBEDiCH's Avatar
    iCHLiEBEDiCH Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    Oct 10, 2007, 08:56 PM
    just tell her, I mean you could tell her in a note if your shy that's always super cute. =]
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #14

    Oct 13, 2007, 08:20 PM
    To get a second date, just make sure she enjoys the first one. Its not about love, but having fun.

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