[strawberry_me]

A neighbor of mine for 2 years - I will call "ChiChi" - has been asking for favors that I am uncomfortable with. She regularly asks to drop off her daughter to my house in the mornings for about 30-60 minutes before the school bus comes to the neighborhood. I have 2 kids of my own, aged 7 and 4. My husband leaves for work before 6:30. The morning hours are very busy for me. The older kid practices piano, the younger one still needs help with brushing his teeth and getting dressed for school. Among all these I try to get some work done to compensate for the late arrival at work.

Once very few weeks ChiChi would call and tell me that both herself and her husband needs to be somewhere at 7:30 so she will need to drop her daughter off at my place. I accommodated her for about 5-6 times last year. Whenever her daughter came over I found it impossible for me to work and I had to cancel my telephone meetings. Frankly having 3 kids in the house is just hard during the busy hours. Starting this school year ChiChi also resumed her habit of dropping off her daughter. I emailed and called her to let her know clearly that unless it's an emergency for her I won't be able to accommodate it this year. I will be glad to help if it's a true emergency. But if it's just that she and her husband would LIKE to be somewhere, they should do it properly, such as find a babysitter, instead of asking me to change my plan to accommodate hers.

The issue is she doesn't take my words seriously. One time when I told her it would be inconvenient for me to have her daughter in the morning, she insisted that her daughter won't bother anyone and she would not back off. Other times she may give it up but would always come back with the same request a few weeks later. If I ask her if it is an emergency for her, she would say "no" but she "can not work it out by herself". Every few weeks I find myself having to repeat the same conversation with her. What else can I do to give her a clue?

[mydogquestion]

I think the easist way is do not answer the door.I also suggest a face to face talk not e-mail or phone message ,Let her know that this is not working for you. The other alternitive is to bill her for your time.If its not free she might use you for only true emergencys. Does she do anything to help you out in a pinch. If she helps you out from time to time watching your kids she might feel that your helping her is abalance to her helping you. Is she a good neighbor,will you miss her friendship?Cutting her off from babysitting could affect the friendship.

[strawberry_me]

Thanks for your answer. "ChiChi" and I hardly talk to each other except when she calls for favors. Other than the fact that her daughter and my older kid go to the same school we haven't crossed our path much. I accommodated her requests last year partly because, not knowing her well, I had a hard time to determine if it was a true emergency situation or something else. Maybe the ease of getting her favors fulfilled last year helped her push me further. The next time it happens I will talk to her face to face. If that doesn't work I will stop answering the door. Thanks again.

[mydogquestion]

Since you are not that close that should work . Good luck!

[Homegirl 50]

She keeps doing it because you let her. The next time she comes to the door with her kid, say "sorry I can't watch her" then close the door in her face. She may do it a second time, but I bet it won't happen a third.
The only way to handle a brazen person is to be brazen with them. Tell her No! And close the door in her face.

[s_cianci]

I think that in this case case you need to make it an absolute rule not to ever babysit ChiChi's daughter, ever ; emergency or not. That's the only way she'll stop taking advantage of you. Whenever she asks the answer's no always, regardless of the circumstances. Even if it's a Saturday morning and nobody has anywhere they have to be, it's still no.

[N0help4u]

What I have often done when somebody asks me for a favor is say I was just ready to ask you for the same. Like if she says will you watch my kid after school today say I was just ready to ask if you could watch my kids today after school.