[jesseinisan07]

I have been apart with my ex for a week now. We started going out at the begening of summer. I am 17 years old and it was really my first serious relationship. We met at a party, she goes to a different high school, I liked her a lot.the problem was that I was going to france for six weeks that summer. We decided to stay together even though we had just started going out. We talked nearly every day for hours on the phone. I would stay up until three in the mournign just to talk to her because of time change. By the time I finally got back everything seemed to be perfect, and we thought that if we made it past that point then we could do anything. It was around mid August and there was two weeks until school started. We hung out all the time, if we wrent together we were talking or texting. I was really happy the whole time and everyone of my friends could see a difference in my constant mood . Once school came we were going to have to adapt to a new routine that would be hard but feasible. Another thing to add on is that she had a lot of dram going on in her life with her parents separating and her finding out new stuff everyday about how her life will never be the same. But anyway. Three weeks into school she started feeling bad about the relationship for the first time because she didn't feel like I helped her out enough dealing with her emotional issues about her parents divorce( I must add is probably the worst divorce I've ever seen ), but we ended up getting back together the next day after I explained to her that I understood what she was saying and proceeded to having a couple of big talks, helping her deal with everything. The next week was amazing we hung out every day just about. I could tell she was really happy and always wanted to see me even with her busy schedule. We were about four weeks into school( last week the last week of september) and I picked her up from soccer one day drove her home . She made dinner for me but litle did I know that that would be the last time id ever kiss her. I left after an hour to go pick my brother up. I had noticed that she wasn't responding to my texts like she usually did this day. The next day I texted her a couple of times all day and she barely answered. One text I sent was me asking her when her schools homecomign was. She then called me later that day at six and described her feelings that she had always been kind of iffy about. She said that in her common relationship she usually feels 100% but now she didn't feel that way and wanted to be single. She had previously told me that she didn't know if she wanted to be in a relationship in this traumatic part of her life. She then said that there was a lot of stress with her social life with most of her friends being in college, senior year of soccer and how the team isn't as good as it always is and everythign about her family and she thought I was kind of a tie down, she also said that she didn't want to have to invite me to stuff like homecoming basically showing that she really didn't want a relationship at this point in her life. When she told me all this I was overwhelmed and didn't really know what to say.I always thought that wed be strong enough to get through something like this together. The problem was that we had only been together for around three months . In days after, I thought that she still had the same feeling for me as she always did and that she just needed time to clear her head and think stuff through. I talked to various female friends of mine and asked for their opinion and they all said that she just needs time and when you have feelings for someone they don't just go away and shed come back aorund when her mind was clear. I duno what it was but I was freaking out by not talking to her and asked her friends about how her because they wer the ones around her now. She found out about this and texted me four nights from the breakup asking me if I wanted to talk about it. In our conversation she didn't feel like she was missing our relationship and that if her feeling were strong enough for me that shed be feeling different. She then said that she was anylyzing the other times when she said she wanted to be single because of other reasons like family and stuff but she thought that that was a coverup of not feeling strongly enough towards me and that if her feelings were strong enough those feelings would overcome those things. Now its exactly a week later and I don't know what to think. I feel like she may have said that she doesn't have as strong feelings for me anymore because of what she is going through and how bad of timing it is. And another question I have is if this is in fact over. How long will it take to get over, in one week I've been trying to talk to different girls and do other stuff to get over it but I'm not convinced. My eating habits are off even though they are getting better, and I find myself bored with stuff that usually si fun for me like video games and hanging out in my basement. And another thing id like is if anyone could try to anylyze what she said in her last convesation with me where she said it was her feelings for me that went down when she said something different. I want to know if you think that that means that she just wants to be single and go through what she's going through alone or if it actually has to do with me?

[holeinheart21]

You are learning at a younger age than many, and by your post, it sounds like you are more mature than many kids your age... actually, in a sense you remind me of myself at your age... it appeared ad though you were dedicated to her, and that is a great trait to have, however, its not an easy trait to have at your age. High school is a time of experimenting and each person develops in their own way and at their own pace. For you, you are ready to settle down in a sense... however, apparently that is not what she is ready to do. She probably has many influences in her life as well... friends, family, the situation going on with her, and therefore this has her mind all over the place. I know it sucks to lose somebody, but in a sense, she is doing you a favor. How? She has a lot on her plate ahead of her and at the current time as well. You go to different schools, which is difficult to begin with. She is experiencing a difficult time with her parents separating, she has soccer practice/games, and most of all, she just isn't ready to try to balance all of those things as well as a boyfriend. I'm sure you would be willing to support her with all of those things, and that is great, but it's too much on her plate. Even if you did stay together, you would wind up seeing her very little most likely, and you would have to deal with the fact that she isn't putting her all in to the relationship, and that isn't fair to you. I won't tell you that you are still young or too young to worry about things like this because are all young and old the same, since we never know how much time we have on earth. But what I will tell you, is that the age which you are at, will soon throw a lot in your face as well as hers over the next year or two... college or job, bills, car payment, friends coming and going, and perhaps the both of you moving to different places. Start hanging out with your friends and doing things with your friends. Do your best not to make yourself a wreck about this. Spend as much time with your friends and family as you can. When you look back, you will be glad you did. They will keep you going.

As far as her not feeling the same for you and not missing the relationship... it means exactly as she said it. She just didn't have the same feelings, no matter what was influencing her. Regardless of what it is though, you can't really change her feelings. You don't want to be with someone that doesn't have feelings for you... you deserve someone better, especially if you are looking to date long term. Keep your head up and get and do some things for fun... and over time your video games and basement will become fun again.

[nkychic]

Like "holeinheart" said, she meant exactly what she said. Now you need to start living for you. Take this time to enjoy yourself and the company of your friends. You'll find a girl that wants the same things you do, it just takes time. I can promise you she won't come while you are looking though. Live life and you'd be amazed at what happens in that process. Good luck!

<3 Leslie