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veronica459 · Oct 2, 2007, 01:43 AM

Hello, I have found the information needed to actually contact my Gramdmother on my fathers side. This has taken quite a bit of effort and as you can imagine time. Now that I have the information I find myself "a deer in headlights" Background is after my father found out he had cancer he stopped the little communication he (we) had with his mother. He passed away in 2001 and it has taken me this long to track her down as I do not know very much about my fathers side of the family. I want so much to know more about my father before he was my father and get to know the family. But should I just leave it alone after all these years, I do know that she is aware of my fathers passing so its not that that I am worried about... Its the possible rejection of my own flesh and blood. HELP!:confused:

macksmom · Oct 2, 2007, 05:09 AM

You could just send her a letter...

EtaCarinae · Oct 2, 2007, 05:57 AM

I agree write her a letter with the option to contact you as well. Just be prepared that it could go either way but at least you will know something more then you do now. Send her some pictures and tell her what I am sure she would want to know about her son your father. It's been along time and maybe she will be upset you did not find her sooner but at least you are trying and hopefully it will all work out for the best. Good Luck^^

tia_bo_bia · Oct 4, 2007, 01:40 PM

I agree with the letter part that's what I did and my mom didn't contact me but I am glad at least I went halfway so you just try and whatever the outcome know you went a distance to get there

KISS · Oct 4, 2007, 01:53 PM

The worst that can happen is that she could say no. I doubt it. The older people get, the more lonely they get and you contacting her may be very welcomed. Make it easy for her to contact you and do your best to prove that you are related.

Why might you like to see her. You may, like any stranger suggest meeting at a public place. Compose a letter, leave out the identifiers and it's likely you can get someone to critique it here.

By easy, I mean "accept collect calls", enclose an SASE, enclose a picture or pictures. Give her best times to call. Send it certified mail.

Angel_Wings · Oct 11, 2007, 02:42 PM

I suggest making it a SHORT and TO THE POINT letter.

Sometimes saying too much can confuse and/or overwhelm a 'Grandma'.
(I know I'm one of em)

By all means let her know that you would like to get to know her, and your Dad's family.

I agree with K-I-S-S...
... MAKE IT EASY FOR HER TO GET IN TOUCH WITH YOU.
(Us elderly tend to misplace, lose and/or forget things)

Good luck dearie!

OH, try not to agonize so much about it...
... just go for it.

Remember "Nothing ventured Nothing gained!"

veronica459 · Oct 12, 2007, 12:50 AM

Thank you all for your responses! I think you are all right a simple letter and a few pictures is the way to go, I will send it out and also post the out come for anyone who is interested.
Again THANK YOU!

momknowsbest86 · Oct 26, 2007, 09:55 PM

Originally Posted by veronica459

Hello, I have found the information needed to actually contact my Gramdmother on my fathers side. This has taken quite a bit of effort and as you can imagine time. Now that I have the information I find myself "a deer in headlights" Background is after my father found out he had cancer he stopped the little communication he (we) had with his mother. He passed away in 2001 and it has taken me this long to track her down as I do not know very much about my fathers side of the family. I want so much to know more about my father before he was my father and get to know the family. But should I just leave it alone after all these years, I do know that she is aware of my fathers passing so its not that that I am worried about........Its the possible rejection of my own flesh and blood. HELP!:confused:

You go for it. Everyone should know about their past-including you.

outtheresister · Oct 28, 2007, 06:43 PM

Originally Posted by veronica459

Hello, I have found the information needed to actually contact my Gramdmother on my fathers side. This has taken quite a bit of effort and as you can imagine time. Now that I have the information I find myself "a deer in headlights" Background is after my father found out he had cancer he stopped the little communication he (we) had with his mother. He passed away in 2001 and it has taken me this long to track her down as I do not know very much about my fathers side of the family. I want so much to know more about my father before he was my father and get to know the family. But should I just leave it alone after all these years, I do know that she is aware of my fathers passing so its not that that I am worried about........Its the possible rejection of my own flesh and blood. HELP!:confused:

You state you want to get to know your fathers side of the family... well then you should make the effort to do that.

Just because your father broke ties doesn't mean you are obligated to do so too. You are NOT your father!

I would contact her.

Fr_Chuck · Oct 28, 2007, 08:32 PM

You need to do it, NOW if you are going to do it, no one knows if and when something can happen to anyone of us.

Angel_Wings · Nov 8, 2007, 06:58 PM

Wondering what happened Veronica.
Hope you sent the letter
Angel_Wings

jasondbel · Nov 13, 2007, 11:06 AM

The older people get they do not get lonelier my grandma has more money then she ever knew what to do with it and she is stingier as hell.

jasondbel · Nov 13, 2007, 11:08 AM

Doesn't it say in the bible that family will hurt you before anyone else?

jasondbel · Nov 13, 2007, 11:09 AM

Personally, I still continue to call my long lost family. Some I asked to borrow a hundred bucks they hung up on me and some asked me questions to see if I was really related and sent me a hundred bucks. Let rejection roll off your chest at least you will know the truth.