[ruthyrocket]

My son is 3 years old and has had no contact with his biological dad since he's was a few months old even in that time he saw him a whopping5 times in total. I am now pregnant with my 2nd child and my fiancé really wants to adopt my son.I received a small amount of money off my ex partner not a lot and he is named on the birth certificate but my son has my surname not his biological fathers.where do we stand with adoption proceedures. Please help!

[Biggie]

It shouldn't be an issue I don't think. I think it's very commendable what he is doing. Hope things work out for the best.

[macksmom]

The bio father will have to willingly sign away his parental rights and allow your fiancé to adopt the child. (and just as a heads up, most judges/laws require you to be married at least a year before they allow the adoption.)

[ScottGem]

First get married. Then hire an attorney to guide you through the adoption process. You will have to get the bio father to relinquish his rights first. Your attorney can explain how.

[JamieLynn]

The bio father will have to willingly sign away his parental rights and allow your fiance to adopt the child. (and just as a heads up, most judges/laws require you to be married at least a year before they allow the adoption.)

My grandfather adopt my Dad without his dads permission and he never signed away his rights he still had half custody. I had 2 grandfathers on my dads side. A judge will not give you a hard time.

[ScottGem]

My grandfather adopt my Dad without his dads permission and he never signed away his rights he still had half custody. I had 2 grandfathers on my dads side. A judge will not give you a hard time.

I'm sorry but that is not accurate advice. I think you are misunderstanding your situation. If I understand you, Grandfather1 adopted your father while Grandfather2 maintained custody. No way! GF1 may have gotten legal guardianship, or may have raised him (you don't say the relation GF1 had to your father). But there is no way he could have legally adopted your father while another many maintained custody.

Every statute I have seen on this issue says the same thing.

[JamieLynn]

I'm sorry but that is not accurate advice. I think you are misunderstanding your situation. If I understand you, Grandfather1 adopted your father while Grandfather2 maintained custody. No way! GF1 may have gotten legal guardianship, or may have raised him (you don't say the relation GF1 had to your father). But there is no way he could have legally adopted your father while another many maintained custody.

Every statute I have seen on this issue says the same thing.

Well that's what happened OK. Don't try to tell me it happened differently I know my family history. My dads step father adopted him that's why I have his last name and my real grandpa still had joint custody. So don't try to act smart because obviously you don't know much.

[ScottGem]

Well thats what happened ok. Dont try to tell me it happened differently i know my family history. My dads step father adopted him thats why i have his last name and my real grandpa still had joint custody. So dont try to act smart because obviously you dont know much.

What I know is the law. And, as I said, every instance of an adoption law that I've seen says that the bio parent must relinquish their parental rights to clear the way for adoption. I don't care what you have been told by your family. But there is NO way that he was legally adopted while his bio father retained custody. Since the law is very clear on this, then something else must have been going on that was not adequately explained to either your father or you.

For example, its very possible that this was an open and amicable adoption. Your dad's mother remarried and the step father agreed to adopt. But they decided not to shut out the bio dad so he was allowed, informally, to continue to be a part of his son's life. Your father may have even been told he retained custody just to make matters simple.

But I can tell you, with complete certainty, that such an arrangement was done informally and outside the courts. That no court would allow a step parent to adopt without the bio parent relinquishing their rights.

[katieperez]

Well thats what happened ok. Dont try to tell me it happened differently i know my family history. My dads step father adopted him thats why i have his last name and my real grandpa still had joint custody. So dont try to act smart because obviously you dont know much.

First of all, there's no need for rudeness, as I'm quite sure ScottGem knows what he's talking about. Secondly, is it possible that there was simply a legal name change without actual adoption? That's what I went through. My bio father was listed as 'unknown' on my birth certificate at his request. So when my mother remarried, my last name was legally changed through the court system to my step dad's last name. After a few years, my step dad legally adopted me after the required 'attempt' to contact my bio father for relinquishment of rights. When he wasn't seen or heard from, we were able to proceed with the adoption process. No, none of us knows your family history and I'm not trying to act like I do, but ScottGem is 100% correct in everything he said. I'm just wondering if maybe a legal name change was the case for your father and his step dad?

[macksmom]

Dont go against what im saying just because you THINK you know what your talking about ok. I know you think you know everything because i see you answering everysingle question thinking you can help everybody. but in this case you are wrong, so except it. Dont assume that im ignorant and dont know my family history ok. If you think your right who the hell cares. Its your opinion. Dont worry about my opinion.

Scott is giving the best advice based on the LAW!

Instead of trying to argue your so-called point, why don't you enlighten us to where that law exists that 2 men along with a mother can have legal parental rights to a child?

[ScottGem]

You still don't get it do you? I have been bending over backwards to try and make it clear that I wasn't saying YOU were wrong. I am only saying that based on the facts of the law, the way you understood the situation didn't fit the law. This has never been about one of use being right or wrong, its been about the quality of advice given. When are you going to understand that?

And I wasn't asking for you to admit I was right. I was asking for an apology for the false accusations and derogatory remarks you made about me. Your refusal to do so and your statements that you never apologize for your words say enough about you. You bought this on yourself by not sticking to debating the point but by attacking me personally and professionally with false accusations.

[JamieLynn]

Ok

[FeelSoNumbZombie]

Ruthy,
To get back to your original question! Geesh! The biological father needs to sign away his rights for the adoption to take place. Start with him.

[s_cianci]

You'll need to get the father's consent for the adoption to proceed.