[Confusedandhurt]

Hi to all, I've been going out with this guy for about a year now and he is the most confusing guy I have ever met. When we first met everything was perfect and the way we met made me think that it could be "fate" and that this guy was the guy I was going to marry.. But as time went on he just started turning into a jerk.. He now never wants to go anywhere with me and always has excuses as to why he can't see me.. and when I finally have enough and try and end things and don't contact him for a while he starts being really nice to me and says he misses me and wants me back!I also have told him I love him and all he said was that his feelings for me have "grown stronger" but I kind of thought that was a crappy thing to say after someone says that to you.. I guess he was trying to be honest.Why is he doing this?If he really doesn't care about me then why keep torturing me by coming back?Does anyone have any idea what could be going on in his head?

[Tandi]

Don't try to figure out his head, figure out instead what you deserve and need in a boyfriend. Don't ask him out, don't be available, don't tell him you love him; go out withyour friends, read a book, take a class, live your own life and build your self-esteem. When he says he misses you and wants you back, keep your distance and make him earn the privilege of spending time with you. If he doesn't bother, he doesn't really care and you're better off without him. He may just be coming back because he knows you're always there and yo're a security blanket for him. You deserve better!