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jeffatl · Sep 25, 2007, 11:38 PM

Ok, I have been dating this girl for about a month now, and things have been a lot of fun. We don't really hang out a lot, but we talk just about every day. It's not really a problem that I like her, I just want to keep my options open because nothing has really worked out well for me lately. Things not working out isn't a big deal either, but I did'nt really like the girls. I don't want to "put all my eggs in one basket" pre-say, and I just want to kind of date around a bit, but I really just want to hang out with her, so it creeates a bit of a problem... as you can see. Like I said, this is pretty new... only a month... I am taking her out for a NICE dinner on Friday before I go to Germany, so Im not really sure what is up with us, or why I want to take her out... this is really strange. Any ideas?

sarah1989 · Sep 25, 2007, 11:42 PM

Talk to her just tell her you want to be friends for now.
That you want to experience new things before settling down with one person.
If your not really committed and want to date around this isn't fair on her at all..
Tell her what's going on. Never lead a girl on if its not what you want

jeffatl · Sep 25, 2007, 11:46 PM

NO! I don't want to lead her on, and I'm not sure I "just want to be friends"... thats the problem. I am so busy, and don't know if I can really make time for her, and that's not fair either. I know she is in to me too, she calls me baby already (a little weird, but ok) and she looks at me like I have never been looked at before. We get along AMAZINGLY, and she might be the best kisser on the planet (sorry, I had to say it). I just don't know what I want right now, and I don't want to scare her off. I guess I just need more time to think about this.

Makiavelic76 · Sep 25, 2007, 11:46 PM

Sounds to me, that old Jeff is starting to "really" like this girl. Probs you been seeing something very attractive in her, I don't know her talks, walks, how she treats you, maybe anything familiar or you just feel comfortable with her... and that my friends it's nothing but GOOOOOOD.
A month?! Hmmm maybe you better start thinking about her feelings now. If you want to keep on the "open zone" you might just starting to figure it out how to tell her that... in a nice way. But make sure that is what you want.

Hey man, don't forget about me... like "simple minds"
Enjoy the dinner :)

jeffatl · Sep 25, 2007, 11:56 PM

"anything familiar or you just feel confortable with her" PERFECTLY said. Honestly, I am just scared of liking this girl. I have known her for YEARS, and something just happened with us. I just seem to have this crazy habbit of going for girls that are totally WRONG for me... it has gotten kind of funny in a way, but I don't really want another joke. I think I am just going to sit on this for a bit and just go with the flow.

sarah1989 · Sep 25, 2007, 11:58 PM

What if your mind decides to wonder while in Germany?
What happens to her then?

jeffatl · Sep 26, 2007, 12:16 AM

I don't want to push too soon either. I think that it is just too soon to put aall those feelings into this, it might freak her out.

Makiavelic76 · Sep 26, 2007, 12:25 AM

I don't know, for me if you ask me, a month it's too soon yes, for you and this girl to have strong feelings but the passionate and comfortable sparks. From what you said, she seems very lovely, but hey!! You are just getting to know her. That would just said to me that she is starting to like you like a posible partner, but I don't know, your sense it's the best guide about that. If you feel she's deep down on you, and you are way too sure you want to keep "diversified you egg basket porfolio" LOL, well I think it would be a very considered and gentleman form to tell her that.
Maybe you need to sail you boat to other seas yet..

cerulean · Sep 26, 2007, 12:40 AM

Originally Posted by jeffatl

Ok, I have been dating this girl for about a month now, and things have been alot of fun. We don't really hang out alot, but we talk just about every day. It's not really a problem that I like her, I just want to keep my options open because nothing has really worked out well for me lately. Things not working out isnt a big deal either, but I did'nt really like the girls. I don't want to "put all my eggs in one basket" pre-say, and I just want to kind of date around a bit, but I really just want to hang out with her, so it creeates a bit of a problem.......as you can see. Like I said, this is pretty new...only a month...... I am taking her out for a NICE dinner on friday before I go to Germany, so Im not really sure what is up with us, or why I want to take her out.....this is really strange. Any ideas?

My god you sound like me. Lol

jeffatl · Sep 26, 2007, 10:49 PM

OK I will lay down the REAL reason why I don't want to like this girl... or any for that matter. I haven't had a girlfriend in about 2 years (thats fine) and I have dated A lot... When I start to like a girl, I pull away because I have ZERO trust in women... its not their fault, I just always think the worst in people when feeling become involved... I don't have a problem finding girls to date, I just have a problem letting myself get "in like" with them hahahaha! Im just not sure I need this kind of stress in my life, and was way more content being alone... but I would love to take another stab at a relationship. I think I have just become so jaded that I miss a good thing when I see it right in front of me. The thing that gets me now is feeling like I am being played with... I just have no patience with crap, and am sick of games... too much to ask?

questionable life · Nov 17, 2007, 07:38 AM

Lol, u are just so similar to me...

Maybe U should just be friend with her, since u want to go to germany. U dun want to keep her waiting for u, do u?

jeffatl · Nov 17, 2007, 10:54 PM

Yea, pretty much over with by now. It's coolt hough, I think I was kind of pushing to like her anyway.

oneguyinohio · Nov 17, 2007, 11:15 PM

Ever been bitten? Once bitten twice shy... Sounds kind of like me after my divorce... not sure I want all the hassles etc... You'll just have to decide if and when you are ready, but if you play games with her, she'll figure that out too so you need to decide pretty soon if you want to go for it or not... Instead of worrying about the fears of what if... try to think about the here and now with her and enjoy the possibilities... if she has never lied or given you reason to mistrust her, then why not give her a chance? Unless you can't get past the fears... and in that case you should take a look at the logic of thinking that just because something bad may have happened in the past, then it is not worth taking the chance that it won't happen again... especially if you have learned from the mistakes of the past...
What makes you feel like you're being played with? Or is that just another fear?

jeffatl · Nov 18, 2007, 08:49 PM

Yea, I've been bitten BAD before, and that's why I try not to latch on so early. This girl was all about games, that's why I just let it go. She kept telling me "I'm busy" and then I see her out with people... it's cool, just not for me. We are still friends, and hang out every now and then, there is just no romantic attraction left there for either of us I think. I'm not afraid of liking a girl now, I think I just know in my gut when a girl is not right for me, and I need to follow my gut more often. This situation actually ended OK, still frinds, just no longer "involved".

oneguyinohio · Nov 18, 2007, 08:58 PM

Ahhh, sounds like it worked out pretty well then, and congrats for going with your instincts as far as the games...