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Bubblenn · Oct 5, 2005, 02:10 AM

Hi!
I was just wondering..
I had a very intense friendship/relationship with my best guy friend.. and because it got really complicated I asked him to choose.. friends or couple.
He chose friends. How long do you suggest I wait before going into a new relationship? (I really got screwed up in the last one)

Tony2005 · Oct 5, 2005, 09:10 AM

If haven't specified how and in what way your friendship/relationship got complicated.

Tony2005 · Oct 5, 2005, 09:12 AM

You haven't specified how and in what way your friendship/relationship got complicated.

Chery · Oct 5, 2005, 01:00 PM

It's like falling off a horse. I'd wait, depending on how long you two were together, to have an HIV test and a checkup, then get back into the 'saddle'. Just be careful and safe no matter where you meet the new people. If you don't think this guy is worth fighting for, then go on with your life and it's OK to keep the fond memories, we all learn from them. Good Luck to you and your future choices. You did not say how old you were and how long you were friends, so there really is not much to go by, but don't dwell too long and go on with your life.

s_cianci · Oct 8, 2005, 08:01 PM

There is really no set time that you should wait. Just make sure that when you do go into the next relationship, it is one of sincerity and not just a rebound one. I commend you for your decisiveness in this situation. You forced the hand, and rightfully so, and got an answer (although not the one you wanted to hear.) Nevertheless, you picked yourself up and have committed to moving on with your life. This is the exact right thing to do and it takes a lot of strength. Any guy should consider himself lucky to know someone like you. Good luck!

Chery · Oct 8, 2005, 11:30 PM

Dear bubblenn, please get back with us. Maybe we are not telling you what you want to know or hear, but you did not give us much info to start with. We do really want to help, so please keep us posted..

fredg · Oct 9, 2005, 04:05 AM

Hi,
I think you are saying (but not sure) that you ask him if he wanted to see only you?? or just be friends?
Anyway, he made his choice; and it isn't you for the present time.
I wouldn't wait to meet new people. Meeting new people is easy, if you get out any at all.
Forget about it, if you can, and move on.
If he eventually wants you to be with him, he will let you know; but don't wait around... might be never!
Best of luck,
fredg

Chery · Oct 9, 2005, 07:09 AM

When I suggested you wait, it was not to meet other people, it was to get a checkup first to see that you did not catch anything you did not want, then go out and live your life... Hope this was not misunderstood.

Bubblenn · Oct 10, 2005, 04:05 AM

Hi everyone!
Thanks so much for all the replies.. sorry I didn't give a lot of info..
I've known him for almost 2 yrs now. We both went through tough breakup's and that's when we met. We became friends and helped each other through it. Then after 6 mnths we started kissing and became best friends...
Then about 6 months ago it just went on and on.. we say each other 5 times a week, sms'd, emailed, phoned everyday. Went to dinner, drives.. bla bla..
Never affectionate in public, but at home we would cuddle and kiss and stuff.. never slept together.. I won't unless we are a couple.. We really have an amazing connection and I really don't understand what his problem is.. I just couldn't go on like that anymore and I had to ask him..

That's a very brief summary! I'm 21 by the way..

Chery · Oct 10, 2005, 05:11 AM

Your welcome for any help we were able to supply, the rest is up to you. But remember, you did meet on the 'rebound' and maybe this will wind up being a long lasting friendship only. In this day and age, some can count their friends, real friends, on one hand. All I can suggest is not to be in a hurry to 'force' this further and he might see you as the special person that you are. You are still young and might find someone who will make your head spin and it will click. If and when this should happen, you will still have a friend with whom you went through and shared a lot. This also means something as again, not all of us have the pleasure of true friendship. Relationships can come and go, but 'friends' can be there to lean on and support you in the healing processes. So, if at this time that's all he's willing to give, accept it.