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Boundary lines
So I am dating a guy that has towo ex and two kida from a previous relationships.. His most recent ex is living in Italy with his 3 year old son and we live in canada. The first time he visited him we had been dating for 61/2 months... do it was definitely inappropriate for me to attend... Hoever, 2 months ago he took another trip which I suggested that I should not attend as SHE has A lot of issues... dirty digs are made towards me constantly as my partner talks to his son on webcam all the time. So the decision was made that I should not attend. Bad move on my part cause he went without me. And when he visits there she wants to be with him with there son... It's a constant battle.. so just recently she started a conversation with him on msn while there son was in bed and she asked him if she could say anything to him and he said sure why not... and then she proceeded to tell him that she was dreaming about him the other night done all in a joking form... he didn't stop it... and she did it twice... so where is the boundary lie did he cross a line by not stopping it?
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Yes, he did cross a boundary line with his ex. But he did it willingly, no one forced him. That is on him. But the other line... the boundary line should be drawn right now between you and him. Honestly. He has too many issues with his ex and possibly too drawn to her because of his past and the fact of the son. You really want to be jealous all of your relationship? Because that is what is going to happen here. This ex makes dirty digs about you to your boyfriend and what does he say about that to you? He could stop that by telling her that he will not allow that kind of talk about you. Yes, he could.
What about his other child? Is he paying child support? Doing his duty to his children? About your own emotions here. You need to either come to terms that this man has a significant past with his mosst recent ex and learn how to deal with that and keep your emotions under control or move on. Have you talked to your boyfriend about how all this makes you feel? If so, what did he say? What does he do to show emotional support to you? Ask him to go to a relationship counselor with you and discuss ALL the variables in this relationship - from the children to the ex's, how you feel when certain things happen or when certain things are said, etc. Good luck. |
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