[eleven23]

I had been dating a man for two months, but we had been friends for about three years. About two weeks into our relationship his license was suspended for three months and then after that will be restricted for six months (had over 12pts). It took about a month, but because he is an outside sales person, he lost his job as a result of the suspension. All the while our relationship was going really well, despite the drama. We are extremely compatible, want many of the same things, he told me often how happy he was with me and how glad he was that we decided to take a chance. After the first week of being without a job I could feel him getting distant and detached. His libido plummeted, he didn't want me to drive him to do things he loves to do, all he does all day is home improvements. Finally, last Friday he broke up with me. He said he doesn't know what he's going to do, what he wants, and he doesn't want to drag me down with him. Everyone that knows him and has seen us together keep telling me that this is just temporary. I want to believe this, but I'm scared and I don't know what to do in the meantime. In my head I know his feelings for me haven't disappeared, but it is so hard for my heart not to take this personally. I'm really sad and I want the relationship to continue.

[fredg]

Hi,
I am sorry to read about this; because it's a normal reaction for him. He has to get his life back together, and he will eventually.
"He said he doesn't know what he's going to do, what he wants, and he doesn't want to drag me down with him."
The above sentence you wrote shows he respects you, and likes you, and is being truthful with you.
Give him a chance to "find himself" again, and find another job. He will be OK, when given some time.
Leave him alone; let him decide when he wants to contact you again. It might take him a couple of months to find out what he wants to do.
In the meantime, meet some new people, get involved with others, to try taking your mind off this.
Best of luck,
fredg

[Tony2005]

He is going through a tough time. Losing a job isn't so easy to get over. He is only depressed with his own messed up life. There is nothing against you. He just need some time to collect himself and get started with a new job. Just relax and support him for what he is trying to do.

[shenda]

Are you ready to confront what is truly bothering you... the newness that shall befall this man's life. You have been friends with him for years; therefore you have been exposed to his pleasures and dislikes... you have stored a great energy of fear... it is as if you feel that when he pulls himself together, he will desire someone else, someone new... you must redirect this energy and engage in the things that will recreate you, in spite of. It is possible that he will desire the new and improved you; however, he is not the ultimate prize or reward... the essence of you being all that you can be equals life's greatest reward. So reward yourself, redirect your energy... it is simple... it needs your cooperation

[s_cianci]

It sounds like you really care for this guy and he for you. However, there is something else you should think about as well. He's not very responsible, at least not behind the wheel of a car. He racked up so many points that he lost his license. Subsequently, he lost his job because driving was a part of it. Naturally, he feels inadequate as a man for having lost his job and it affected his relationship with you. In and of itself, this is a perfectly normal reaction. Furthermore, without being able to drive, finding another job will be all the more difficult. Now, since he obviously cannot be a responsible driver, could he be a responsible husband? Could he be a responsible father? As for that matter, was he a responsible employee on his last job? Perhaps they were glad to get rid of him. They obviously didn't take any great pains to try and keep him despite the loss of his license. Something tells me that if he were a really valuable employee to his company then they'd have found a way to keep him on the payroll whether he can drive or not. When a person is irresponsible in one aspect of their life, it usually carries over into other aspects as well. How high is his automobile insurance as a result of all of his points? Would you really want to inherit such a high expense and all of the ensuing complicatons that would result if unable to pay this expense? Personally, I'd be very leery of having any more than a casual fling with someone so irresponsible and I certainly wouldn't want someone with such a track record working for me if I were running a business. You may want to become a little more discriminating about who you have a relationship with, for your own good. Don't settle for hamburger when you can have steak. Good luck!

[[email protected]]

Well the title makes this pritty simple he wasen't having a good and time and needed to drop u for some space... sounds harsh, well yes but think about he must feel going thought all that cheer him how some how take him out and try again ;)