[anna1957]

To Whom It May Concern,

I live with my fiancé, and have done for 3-1/2 years. We both have two kids each. My fiancés last marriage ended due to infidelity on his ex-wifes part.

Now that we are together, and have lived together for 3-1/2 years, in that duration of time, I have not even thought about another man. I have not cheated what so ever. He has been jealous for the past uear more so than normal. I work part time, and some days I work longer than others. He thinks I am having an affair. I am not. I am working. It is so bad now, that whenI am out working, I find a phone at the place of business that I am at, and I have to call him every two hours from the same phone so that he knows I am working. I have to call when I leave and when I get home. I have to call him when I just want to run to the market. He has to know where I am every single minute of the day. I don't mind, but even after doing as he asked regarding calling him, he still acuses me of cheating. It is getting so bad, that at times, it hurts my feelings to where I am in tears.

Please give me any kind of advice that you could offer me, and some days, I just don't want to be around him. The jealouses and insecurities can be overwhelming.

Please advise me as to what to do.

Thank you,


Anna

[Clough]

I believe you. I don't know if you have done this already, but if you haven't, I would have a serious discussion with him about the way that he is making you feel. I can understand his issues with trust. I have also had someone who cheated on me. I may be incorrect, but I sense that you might be feeling some guilt because the two of you have not been communicating as much and as openly as you can. You may be playing a guessing game with each other because the communication may not be what it could be. Again, I may be incorrect. If I am, I apologize.

Hopefully, others will come along to offer their support and advice also. This has just been mine based upon what you have shared.

[FrOsT_bItE]

Sometimes people start believing lies that aren't even true. There are probably heaps of reasons he thinks like this. Maybe he heard a rumor, someone might of told him. Has he started on medicine or anything? But I think that you should sit him down one day and talk to him about it. Everything, and when I say everything I mean EVERYTHING! Your feelings, that you would never cheat on him and so on. After a few weeks if he still doesn't believe you then I would divorce him. If there's a relationship between someone, there needs to be trust. And if there's no trust then how how can there be a relationship? You need to think about who is more better off. You or him? I know it may seem harsh, but is he really worth the time if he can't even trust you going down to the shops for a few minutes? But this is just my opinion.

[rkim291968]

You say you don't mind but you should! His behavior is unacceptable. Perhaps, his ex-wife didn't really cheat and he jealousy drove her to leave. You and your SO should seek professional help.

[otherkat]

I am in almost the same situation, except I'm not married to the jerk. He wants to get married though. I have to "check-in" with him more than I ever did with my parents. If I don't talk to him the full hour for lunch, even if it was just 55 minutes, he thinks that I'm cheating on him or doing something scandalous during that 5 minutes. It's freaking ridiculous. Maybe we can talk and help each other.

[Clough]

Maybe we can talk and help each other.

I do hope that you do start communicating with each other. Support from others in the same type of situation is often helpful. :)