[marcus83]

I took everyone's advice, we broke up, I spent 8 months trying to get her back, the girl I'm on love with met someone else a month ago, they just broke up ( I think he cheated on her) She did all that knowing I was still in love with her. I went no contact for the past 30 days... she just quickly IM'ed me with : " as a friend, hope you and your family are doing well, take care" \ Not: "hi how are you" Not: "hey how have you been?" just : "as a friend, hope you and you family are doing well, take care.....after I spent 8 months agonizing about her, calling her, begging her....just for her to get with this guy for a month knowing it kills me inside...and she now wants to give me sweet im's like that? ? For the record I didnt respond....I miss her so much its killing me.....I think shes just trying to see if I still want her back. I want to talk to her so bad, but Ive actually made progress with this no contact idea...I changed my number and everything.......any advice?


Keep in mind, shes 1000 miles away, told me that our relationship was long distance and superficial...(it lasted 8 months) and that she didnt want another long distance relationship....then KNOWING I am in love with her, dated another guy long distance!!!, while she plays with the puppy i bought her....now wants to see how me and my family are doing???



I think its just out of guilt to make herself feel better. She wants to feel better about herself by trying to be "friends" with me.

Any opinions?

[nkychic]

I think you could be right, it could simply be out of guilt. However I think there is more to it. My exboyfriend of 2 years and I broke up. We didn't talk for almost 4 months before I got a text from him. Just when I thought I was over him, he reminded me I still care. I honestly think it's her way of keeping you hanging on. A way to keep you from forgetting her and your past. Maybe she honestly does want to know how your family is, maybe she is genuinly concerned about you. I could be 100% wrong in what I said. But I definitely think there is a possibility that this is her way of ensuring, or at least knowing that you will still jump when she says the word.

I have to applaud you in not returning the message. I'm impressed. That takes guts and causes heartbreak, but not near what it would if you had to relive the pain you've tried so hard to forget.

[ilovcali]

Move on. Block here IM. DON'T RESPOND. You are progressing WITHOUT HER!! AWESOME! So why ever regress? You'll have to go through a lot of hell to get back to where you are now, if you open the can of worms she left for you with her IM.

Honestly, I have no idea why she IM'd you. And the best thing is not to even speculate. WHO CARES WHAT'S GOING TO THROUGH HER HEAD. She's not your concern anymore. And you're probably right, she's keeping you on the burner just in case. SCREW THAT!

Let it go and let her go. KEEP MOVING FORWARD!

--Cali

[Ash123]

No response.

Nothing is gained for you by contacting right now... it's a lazy bait trick.

More later.

[madaman]

My biggest question to you would be why you went to the trouble of changing your number, but not blocking/deleting her on your messaging programs. I think I know the answer though because Ive done the same thing.

[mckenzie134]

No need to reply to that.

This is just the beginning.

People do not message you unless there is some slight interest.

You obviously still want her back we know that, but don't take this a s a sign that she wants you back. Writing as a friend that is a bit strange like she is trying to say something , don't respond, for anything to happen the tension must rebuild, she may be realising what she lost, a great guy.

Wait it out... Let us know of her next move...

In the mean time you remain silent... Mysterious...

[Wondergirl]

I'm female and am betting she is just throwing out a baited line to see if you bite.

Don't bite. There's a hook under that bait. The hook will hurt like heck. Swim away.

[Skell]

I wouldn't even contemplate being with her again. She dumped your ar$e because it was long distance and then went and got in another one. You're right, she's only contacting you to see if you are weak and still want her. She is praying on your weakness and it feeds her ego. Don't give her the pleasure.

Why would you want her back? Sounds like a stupid idea to me. Block her from AOL and continue to move on. People very rarely get back together successfully despite what others will try and tell you.