[hanabelle]

Wow its pretty f--up when a woman has an opinon she's labeled as a feminist? I don't think anyone here is saying all men are the same way. People are having opinions based on their own unique expirences and that's just it their own opinon!

[Chery]

I do agree, Hanebelle, and when I am ill and can't do much around the house or kitchen, etc, my partner avoids me, but I also understand that in his way he feels helpless because he can't fix it. Men are accustomed to fixing things, and when that is out of their hands, the sky falls and they look for a place to hide or vent out. I know mine does not avoid me, he avoids my illness and his frustrations over it. See what I mean about 'understanding' ? Most of us women do know our men and still love them because those are just little things that no longer need to be ponderred or argued about.. that is just plain facts of life. I take care of my man when he is sick because I like to and not just because 'society' put us in the Florence Nightingale category without even thinking whether we get frustrated or don't like the sight of blood either. How strange, the stereotyping goes both ways. But with a little communication we can all grow to understand each other, it's that simple. With us women, a little hug or holding for a while when we need it does more than just comfort, it helps bond closer.

[hanabelle]

Chery, I completely agree with you. But its hard not to get frustrated too. I stay at home with the kids and do what any other woman would do and take care of the house. That is a job initself. I really don't expect mucj out of my husband, because he does work hard and is now the main provider of the family. I have the utmost respect for that. But what I don't get is that when he's sick and can't go to work or help with the kids and I drop everything to help him and take care of him (which I do willingly) it isn't returned when I'm under the weather. Im not saying he has to be really happy about it or wait on me hand and foot but to help a little would be nice, especially with the kids the're young so it is hard to keep up with them even more so when Im sick. He seems like it's a big bother for him. Now that frustrates me. Any words of wisdom? :confused:

[hanabelle]

Actually I should have this as a topic for a post! Its funny how you end up talking about your own issues in response to someone else's. ;)

[Wildcat21]

I still know I am right!

[becky92029]

I still know I am right!

Wildcat,

Of course you are! ;)

Who said you weren't?

[letmeno]

Hannabelle, Becky, and cherry, we need talk show host like you. And invite Wildcat! That would make an interesting show!

[Wildcat21]

Ha!

Hey wondering if you ladies new this. Woman, on average use about 7000 words a day. Men use on average 2000.

When men think the conversation is over, woman are just getting a conversatin started.

Maybe you see why your S/O gives the answers they do.

I know why my gal gabs and gabs and gabs.

[becky92029]

Hannabelle, Becky, and cherry, we need talk show host like you. And invite Wildcat! That would make an interesting show!!

Agree. He's cute and adorable. We could have some great fun! :)

[letmeno]

Ha!

Hey wondering if you ladies new this. Woman, on average use about 7000 words a day. Men use on average 2000.

When men think the conversation is over, woman are just getting a conversatin started.

Maybe you see why your S/O gives the answers they do.

I know why my gal gabs and gabs and gabs.

I read these statistics in one of your other post.
I admit, we do talk a lot, but that is because usually our questions are still unclear. We need answers, who, what, when, where, and why, we need resolution and closure and a crystal clear understanding just what is going on. Women do not like to be left in the dark about anything. We have to know and we have to understand.

[Wildcat21]

Interesting. I agree fully.

Guys are like "short version please!"

[hanabelle]

Yeah, wildcat I'm sure your right all of the time, I guess we will humor you. Good luck with that attitude Im sure it will get you far. I didn't realize boys in high school were even aware of this topic. You are in high school right? :rolleyes:

[hanabelle]

Letmeno, we should have a talkshow, I would have so much stuff to say, you know esecially since we love to talk. ;)

[Chery]

To letmeno, and Hanabelle - The idea about the talkshow is not that appealing to me as it is what the last four letters indicate a 'show' and mostly staged. I'd rather have a small group without the noise and interruptions of 'sightseeing audience' who go there to lift themselves up by other peoples' problem's, then going home after having their egos fed.

Wildcat, - you seem to have had a few more words to say in one or two of your posts from January and April too, one was a two-parter... There was no 'short version' there...

I'm assuming that S/O means significant other? Well,some of the answers I get from him are: 1) whatever - when I ask him what I should make for dinner, but I can't seem to find a whatever in the kitchen or supermarket. 2)uhhuh - now that's a great way to get a question answered. When I make two suggestions or more. I could go on here, but we all are familiar with this issue.

Maybe some men don't use many words because they are busy listening to anything else they can on the boob-tube instead of their S/O. Or, their vocabulary treasure-chest is not full enough to find intelligent ways to express themselves. I worked with doctors and helped them write their papers for the AMA and other journals, and they had many more words to say than just 2000 and still appreciated my input and questions for clarification. Oh and I also helped two other men write their books, one a doctor, the other a teacher.

There is another member in this forum, who I thought at first was a woman, (sorry) due to the articulate way he communicates. I did find out his S/O reads his stuff too, they must really have a great relationship and I sometimes envy them.

My significant other probably thinks that I can read his mind and needs no verbal communication - and most of the time he's right. When he is stressed, I know why without even asking so I don't. When I'm stressed, he asks 'what's wrong now', without reflecting on the days' events and maybe coming up with the answer himself. Too busy watching the news or sports, I guess, to check out the vibes surrounding him in his own home.

Unfortunately, from reading your previous posts I am of the opinion you are bitter about something in your past, and just can't get over it. I know your response will be blah, blah, blah, already, but I truly mean no offense. This is just a 'gut feeling' of mine.

To Becky - you stated you are happy with your' S/O for 35 years? Congrats, not all of us are that lucky - you must have tuned in to him from the start, but I bet you also compromised a lot to keep the peace. And he probably was the first man in your life. The fact that you feel the femenist movement did a lot of damage is right. I agree that some femenists go a little too far and berate men in general because I know men are only human too and most do the best they can. Women can be very threatening to those who thought us inferior and as I said before, society demands a lot and some are just not up to it. Society today puts a strain on all of us, man and woman - we just handle it differently.

Ok, I'll get off my soapbox now and let someone else get on it. I think this 'ball' is really rolling and wish more people would jump right in. It's more refreshing than a 'talkshow'. Ta Ta for Now!

[Wildcat21]

hanabelle - I guess you don't know sarcasm.

[tjr]

Hi Cess and welcome,
I whole heartily agree with shenda this really is the way we are.
As far as the "flipping"of the argument goes that is one of our most famous defense mechagnisms(?) " The best defense is a good offense" you are so busy trying to defend yourself that the reason you were mad at us fades.
I will not tell you that everything is going to be OK because I don't know ,but I can say that all relationships that work are because BOTH parties worked at it

[Chery]

Hello tjr, thanks for joining in, and it was good, short and precise. What did you have to go back to school for? Wishing you the best...

[Chery]

We might have gone off the subject a bit, but I am still interested in how you are doing and what your opinion is on this all. Did our little heated debate scare you off, I hope not! It's a universal subject without any real down-pat solutions and/or answers. Just a few examples of opinions but they can help you along the way, so please give us some of your input.

[tjr]

Why thank you for your concern,in answer to your question I am attending school again to get a degree in ceramic engin.

[Chery]

Good for you. It's never to late to learn new things. And when one gets to learn things that are of interest, that makes it all the better.