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justhaveaquestion · Sep 15, 2007, 07:50 AM

Okay ovi every relationship has its ups and downs.. but the past few days me and my boyfriend have been I don't know agruing but not. At first it was because I wanted him to be more affectionate.. even though he never was then yesterday we tried to bbq at the beach and the fire kept going out so I called my dad because we used to do that ALL the time and he got mad and said I made him look stupid and we started fighting because I didn't like the way he was talking to me telling me I was stupid for calling my dad?. and I'm sure a lot of people get like this like after a fight you feel like things are still a little weird and that you both said things you prob shouldn't have.. he made light of it and laughed about it later but things were stilla little weird after and I want to fix that. How?

shygrneyzs · Sep 15, 2007, 09:36 AM

The fighting does not sound like the relationship is worth all that. Why do you feel you should be the one to "fix it"? He started the fight, he should apologize and you both work together on fixing any problems. What if you two took a break from each other and you really thought through the positives and negatives of being his girlfriend?

While it is true all relationships have their ups and downs, there seems to be some important things missing for you. I'd seriously consider the importance of being his girlfriend.

nkychic · Sep 15, 2007, 11:31 AM

You are correct, all relationships have their ups and downs. The first fight, "he should be more affectionate" is a common one. It seems like many people see more affection from their significant other. It sounds to me like that may come from some insecurities you have. You need to feel his touch to know he cares, and that is Completely normal. On the other hand, it is also normal for guys to not want to show so much affection. You aren't asking too much, but maybe he just isn't one of those guys.

The second argument was over something minor. With this being the case, I think it's more than just you calling your dad, or your boyfriend feeling like you made him look stupid. It sounds like you both need to take a break from the relationship. Take some time to figure out what you each want out of the other. Then you all can talk it over and figure out from there whether you are right for each other.

Good luck and I hope that things work out for you!!

<3 Leslie

s_cianci · Sep 15, 2007, 01:59 PM

I think you need to analyze what's really going on here. The arguments you're having and the things that trigger them appear to be symptomatic of some underlying issues affecting your relationship. It sounds like there might be some control issues at work here. You can't change anyone and nobody can change you. It may be that you are simply not compatible and not right for each other. If that's the case then it's best to come to terms with that now rather than continuing to fight and argue and get to the point where you say and do things that are truly mean and hurtful to each other.

s_cianci · Sep 15, 2007, 02:02 PM

He started the fight, he should apologize and you both work together on fixing any problems.

Actually it seems like she's just as responsible as he is for starting the fights.

What if you two took a break from each other and you really thought through the positives and negatives of being his girlfriend?

Excellent idea.

While it is true all relationships have their ups and downs, there seems to be some important things missing for you. I'd seriously consider the importance of being his girlfriend.

Very true. You need to seriously rethink this whole thing.

talaniman · Sep 16, 2007, 05:48 AM

You have a lot of posts about you and your boyfriend, and his moodiness. I think your both young and inexperienced, and any little thing sets you both off. He snaps, and you get insecure and start wondering. Be a lot more patient with each other.

Fr_Chuck · Sep 16, 2007, 05:58 AM

Yes, he was trying to do what you wanted, but you did not allow him a chance to do it, so he can't get it burning and you end up eating at a hot dog stand, it is the fun of the adventure and you laught about not getting the fire going 20 years from now.

Calling your "dad" to help him, took away his doing something for you.
You did not appreaciate what he was doing for you at all.

justhaveaquestion · Sep 16, 2007, 09:04 AM

Thanks.. sometimes I feel like its in my head like I think something's wrong when its really not?. I don't know its stupid.. I confronted him last night about his moody ness and he told me he's been stressed out with college and everything all together and money and that everythings just bugging him and tried to explain himself