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Lostinlove · Sep 13, 2007, 09:09 PM

I just been reading everything everyone has been saying about break up and I read the sticky but I feel that my heart will not listen to reason. I'm sick of crying over my girlfriend. I gave her 5 years of my life and she dump me because she is getting played by some guy at work. She won't listen to reason and I'm so in love with her no matter what she does. I want to let her go but I still want her and I'm going crazy over her. It has only been 3 days since she left my house and she hasn't slept in the same bed with me. Every thing in my room remind me of her. I can't do anything without thinking of her. Everything in my daily life invovle her and I know she still love me but she is fighting the feeling. I'm dyning to know why she does this because I ask her and all she can said was I'm confuse I don't now what I want. She was my first and I'm her first. We fell in love during high school. I was a senior she was a jr. and when I graduate from school I try to break it off so I can go to a long distance school but she told me to stay. So I stay because I can't see her cry. Everyone around me tell me just let it go but it so hard when everything I own she uses, that include my clothing. Like right now while I'm writing this she is talking to me on Aim and it hard to just let it go. I'm just worry if I push her to far she might just forget about me and I'll just be a lonely guy because no matter how hard I tried I can not picture me with anyone else beside her. Plus the 5 years that we been together, I've never think twice about any girl. I'm so afraid that I would fall for someone else that those 5 years that we are together I'v never had any girl as a friend. If I can get over the fact that another man is going to be touching my fiancé then it won't matter but I can get that pass me because I just want her to myself. What am I suppose to do ?

crushedovernover · Sep 13, 2007, 09:30 PM

Don't talk to her. Ignore her. If another guy is touching her acept it and do not talk to her. Im going threw the same thing but I have a son with my ex. Ignore her, Im going have non a month. Best bet is to contact and let your emotions setle. If she left you for another guy try to say to yourself she doesn't deserver you and I'm sure you can find a women who loves you unconditionally.

True love stories never have endings.

mckenzie134 · Sep 13, 2007, 10:21 PM

SHe left you for another guy thank god it was only 5 years you now have the rest of your life to find someone who completely loves you and not someone you thought did, she turned out to be a HO . Thank god you found out before you had kids and marriage

Lostinlove · Sep 14, 2007, 01:01 PM

I think I'll do all of this but I'm going to try and just move a little slow it so hard. I've been home for the past 4 day and seem like almost everything on TV makes me cry. I'm such a sad dude it starting to be funny to me. I'm not used to crying because I'm so used to always being happy with her. I also understand what you mean and I understand what all of my friends mean, so I'm just going to be free and take it like it is.

ilovcali · Sep 14, 2007, 02:32 PM

You made the greatest mistake of all. You made someone else your whole life. You didn't go to a college you wanted to because of her, you didn't make any female friends because of her, the latter is I think even more extreme than the former.

DON'T EVER MAKE SOMEONE ELSE YOUR ENTIRE LIFE AGAIN!! Worst mistake ever. You feel even worse now because you did all that. Have some balance. Anyway, many people make the same mistake you do. And then when a relationship ends, people always say, I did all this and I did all that for my ex. SO WHAT! Did she put a gun to your head and say you have to do this? No, you made the choice to do those things. Once again, nothing wrong with that. You should do things for your partner you don't do for others. But don't look back on the whole thing and feel bad about the things you did or use that to rationalize why someone should not leave you.

As for your present situation, I think you are doing the right thing. Walk away. DON'T TALK TO HER. That's not being mean, that finally LOOKING OUT FOR YOURSELF. This girl almost sounds like she became a drug for you. KICK THE HABIT.

And YOU MUST ACCEPT THE PAIN. DON'T FIGHT IT. But don't let it consume you. GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. STOP WATCHING TV. Aside from sports, there is nothing good on anyway :)~

Basically, it just seems that your ex is what ~22 and she's only been with you? And for 5 years. She's doing the classic "what else is out there" bit. RUN!! You don't want to be there for this. Let her do whatever she wants. YOU HAVE TO BE STRONG. You'll go insane dating someone who's not sure they want to be dating.

Good luck, keep us posted. NOW GET OUT OF THE HOUSE AND DO SOMETHING! ANYTHING.

--Cali

Chery · Sep 14, 2007, 02:48 PM

Hi Lostinlove..

Now that you here with us, let us help you through this roller-coaster that everyone goes through.

You've read the sticky and you've read what ilovcali just wrote, so it's a good start for your recovery.

Since your place is 'haunted' by her memories.. do some serious renovation like changing style in sheets. Get candles with a whole new scent and light them. Change the furniture around so that the bed is not in the same place. Take those little things she left behind and put them in a box. You can throw them away later, but for now, just get them out of your sight. Do that with any and all pictures too.

You will probably need to get some uninterrupted sleep, so try staying up later than usual - with the weekend, should be no problem - leave the TV on for noise in the background so that your thoughts cannot sneak up on you. Read a boring book but stick to it just to make you tired.

Go to the park, gym or any other place where there are people, and just walk around.

You might also want to make a list of all the things that make this girl so special.. later you can list the not-so special things about her when those clouds clear up.

You will be going through stages here, and we will help you through them.

Keep that chin up! And NO CONTACT!

Try and keep busy.

talaniman · Sep 15, 2007, 06:57 AM

I feel your pain, but know that it will get better if you get busy, and leave the past and move forward. You need time to grieve and time to heal.

Lostinlove · Sep 15, 2007, 01:39 PM

Yea I'm ove it now man, I figure whatever she doen't love you anymore now get moving or u'll miss someone special. I can honestly say I feel good because I deserve better and thanks for helping.

s_cianci · Sep 15, 2007, 01:49 PM

As hard as it is, you must forget about her for now. Request that she come back and gather all of her personal belongings. If she won't, then pack them up and store them somewhere, in a friend's garage or something. Then get out there and have the time of your life. You're young and there's lots of opportunity out there so go out and pursue it. Meet and date new people, take a class to further your career (or prepare you for a new one), join a gym, take a trip, take up a new hobby or "dust off" an old one. You've made the mistake of tying yourself down too much too soon (a common mistake of teenagers and 20-somethings.) But the good news is you can still make up for lost time, so get out there and have a blast!